Changes

Thursday 31July08 5:17pm

We're in Leo now and I have yet to read the write up that Guru Rattana sent nice and early this sign. But there is a new moon both on the 1st of August and the 30th. Two in one month. I wonder if that means anything special? Couldn't we all use special?

So You Think You can Dance gave us the cruel blow of ousting the lovely Will. Of course now he has time to marry me! I wonder if he's a Capricorn...

In recent news, Capricorn men STILL SUCK! I don't know why there are so many of them showing up in my world. It doesn't seem fair. But the good thing is that I dodged the bullet relatively early. And a lot can be said for dodging a bullet.

I've been watching this 27 year old sweet guy with the pain of heartbreak and ache and remember that all too well. I wish that I could tell him some secret of how to get over it quicker but, as we all know, there is no expiry date on emotions.

I've taken Gail's advice (from Til Debt do us part) that she would give me if she ever came to my house to check out my situation and I've got myself a part time job. It's where I met 27 year old sweet guy who is suffering. I get to sit on my ass and get paid to work on my writing. Plus I can pay off those pesky debts that have been getting on my nerves. Pay day is on opposite weeks from my day job which is sweet! And I'm getting paid $1.50 more per hour than originally quoted. Nice instant raise!

I've met a couple new men. So despite my Capricorn shenanigans there are other men out there. Being a Capricorn man may actually become the deal breaker. You know of course that if I ever marry, it will probably be to one. *sigh*

When a man shows you who he is, believe him!

The past few weeks the theme has been about justifying bad behaviour, or better yet, other people trying to get me to justify bad behaviour. It started off with a joke that was made up about me 5 years ago. When it was first said I made my comment about how people could perceive me, if they believed it. You know how people are, they hear a silly thing, they don't verify the info and they believe the shit for years to come. The person laughed at the comment as if he didn't believe that was possible. He continued to tell the fallacy every time we were out with others. Some times I let him tell it and laughed it off, other times I said, 'inappropriate time and place," and cut him off.
The night of the Capricorn dastardly deed (I'm not even sure what dastardly means but I love the alliteration), the fabrication/joke was brought out of the vault. I was already annoyed to find that Carpicorn dastard (ha ha) was not a person of his word so it really wasn't the time to be making up stories. I rolled my eyes and said, "Really? You're still going to tell that tale when it's not true?"

The storyteller didn't read the signs nor see the storm clouds. If I ever say to anyone in conversation, "you're not listening to me," that's a strong indication that losing my temper is not far behind. Leaning forward, I went off on this person stating all the things that were wrong with that story and how it could be perceived and how it could ruin my chances with a really nice guy who might be interested in me should he hear this story. At first every one was laughing because they didn't get my seriousnesss. And then I blew. I tore the person apart strip by strip for such fuckery, for not being aware enough to stop when stop was called and I didn't stop there. He got embarrassed then he started to back away. And I still didn't quit.

When I did quit and everyone looked pale, his wife said, "He's just teasing you because he likes you."
"How long, how many years do I laugh something off and play the good sport until enough is enough? How long do I have to understand that he's just teasing me because he likes me before we can move on and at least tell something funny about me that's actually true?"
No one had an answer. It's like someone telling you that you can't take a joke after they've publicly humiliated you. A good joke is when everyone laughs, not when a person is humiliated. In my humble opinion. Any comedien worth his weight will tell you that if the people aren't laughing, the joke was shit.
And the best part is that I said that they all tease me for being single as if there is something wrong with me and yet tell these tales and any possible interest believes them. That's right, I'm the loser...

Wife also tried to justify the Capricorn behaviour and I had to ask her again, how long or how many times does one person come up with excuses before they can name something bad behaviour. Or I can be allowed to be disappointed in him.
When a man shows you who he is, believe him!

The next day I told Ado that I feel like it's some orchestrated test and I'm the worst person to test. He said that in his single days that he'd test women all the time. hmm! What was aggravating was that dapper dan the dastardly deeder originally went on and on so much that I felt compelled to respond to his passive aggressive request and believe in his over eager yes. *sigh* squared

But again, happy to dodge the bullet now instead of three years down the road of justifications only to find out that when I depend on him to be a person of his word he ISN'T! So maybe that's the thing with the Capricorn men appearances. Maybe it's the test that I come up against almost every single time with them. Maybe it's getting rid of them earlier and earlier until they disappear for good or the ones that appear make me forget that they are Capricorns. Who really knows?

My mom's achilles heel was Aries men.

And I have to give props to my married friend because the next day we treated each other as we normally do. I said what I had to say and it was over and done with. And he got that.

Anyhow it's Caribana weekend and I don't have to work. In my interview for my new p/t gig, I said I'd only need that weekend off then my holidays would be my normal 10 days in October for the Festival that I attend yearly.

My life is relatively relaxed even with the occasional out burst. Our office renovations still carry on... can you believe that?

And there is always something to laugh at and learn. Oh yes and who knew how often you use the letter 's'. My cat climbed on to my laptop when I left it unattended momentarily, as I pulled her off, she took the letter s with her. Good thing I got the new gig, gotta save up for a new lap top. Or start using words without the letter 'S'. he he!

EY

A Month? Gemini and June Energies

Sunday 8June08 11:03am
Wow it's been a month since I've been here last! No excuses. It's been 50% of good and 50% of a pain in the ass. Isn't that always the way? I've had big bouts of laziness and the odd spurts of motivation and I'm always challenged with finding my way through it all.

I've spent most of my time focused on my little kitten Gatsby, the pisces heartbreaker. He keeps me amused and gives me a loving, grateful focus which if you know anything about me, you know it's needed. What seemed like a crazy idea to most, adding a 4th cat to the fold, was a stroke of genius. Watching a kitten discover his surroundings and get excited over a crumpled piece of paper and other silliness reminds me to attempt to do the same thing in my life. Life is supposed to be an adventure, right?

Gemini is all about the mind. Has your mind been going a mile a minute? My mind has been all over the place but the thrilling thing is that I've had that Gemini level of detachment so the little annoyances haven't been quite as all consuming as they can be. Praise God! We're in the middle of office renovations at work during a Mercury Retrograde. Can you spell laughter?

I have to laugh because I'd lose my mind. Nothing is quite like the shop drawings that I had a hand in approving. The workers come in during the day and cause much disruption. Jackhammers are dead to me! I've breathed in more dust than any one person should ever inhale. I've gone home with headaches and sore shoulders from the tension. I can't open my desk drawers and sit at my desk at the same time. And what was going to be about a week of renovations has now gone into week three. We have a private pool betting on which month it will be complete and how many difficiencies will still be hanging over our heads. As much as possible I remain detached.

In keeping with the communication issues of Merc, people have been coming to me asking for help and when I try to give my help they proceed to interrupt me to tell me how much they know in keeping with the help they've requested. Oh, so you know how to do this then, you don't need my help? If it's my area of expertise and you call me for help, why must you insist that you actually know more than I do? I didn't call you. *sigh* Remain detached!

So I write notes in my handbook. I write about the peculiarities of others. I write descriptions for possible characters because we all know these kinds of people and sometimes (very rarely though, right?) we are those people ourselves. I feel like I'm making productive use of what could drive me crazy if I thought about it too much.

And back to Gemini, not that I left it. It took me forever to get the summary of all the previous New Millenium Being newsletters sorted through. Ahh in a year I'll have one done for each sign so next year I'll be more timely! The main points offered from Guru Rattana over the years have been to:
- Maintain a neutral mind,
- tune into your breath by slowing it down and breathing deeply,
- alternate nostril breathing
- train ourselves to listen - first to ourselves and then to others,
And in her most current newsletter she recommends for June:
1 - to not take yourself or every minute detail in life so seriously
2 - to make it your priority to uplift others and spread joy
3 - to make people and yourself laugh
4 - to change negative conversations into heart-felt connection
5 - to perfect our sense of humor.

Hmm! And Mecury is retrograde until June 19th, which means the direct energies don't really take effect until around the 24th or 25th. I'm giving it to the 26th to be on the safe side. ha ha!

I realized the other day that I got my cat Zoe, who died in November, during a Mercury Retrograde. Every thing that I was told about her turned out to be not what I'd expected. The ironic thing was that I had second thoughts about taking her because it was Mercury Retrograde but I'd talked myself out of the Second thoughts saying, "what could go wrong it's just a cat?" What could go wrong indeed. Sometimes I feel like a wacko when i discuss Mercury Retrograde except luckily I have enough friends who also believe in the strange energy to make me feel less wack-otic (my new word!) So I say believe it or don't believe it but keep a watchful eye out, regardless.

JUNE ENERGIES
Rev. Sheri Kozdron whose podcast Angel moments by Angel Messenger I listen to gave me some keywords/thoughts for June.
Gemini - information, reclaiming our mind, how our thoughts affect us.
Focus on love, generousity, peace and forgiveness
Sagittarius Full Moon - Our search for meaning.

And here are some links to the people I've mentioned:

New Millenium Being Archives Scroll down to the archives. Subscibe to the list, it's worth it! Guru Rattana gives so much free information that you can spend years reading it all, which I have. It's what finally got me into Kundalini Yoga. I'm proud to say that I have finally bought 4 of her books.

Angel Messenger Rev Sheri Kozdron has both a podcast and a blog.

Starchild also offers energies to focus on, use, notice for each month.

EY

Taurus Energy

4May08 Sunday 4:38pm

I'm trying to read through all the New Millenium Beings written for Taurus but am finding that there is so much in all of them that the summary I could write wouldn't be a summary after all. I laugh, as I did in Aquarius, that the issues I've been blogging about fall into Taurus territory. My whole piece on expecations...

Anyway, here are some notes gleaned from a few of the previous New Millenium Being newsletters written by Guru Rattana over the years.

From NMB #16 2000
I liked her three phases of Taurus the bull:
The Sleeping Bull
The basic lesson to be learned is to shift from a dependency on external values to a reliance on inner ones. Look at what you value most, how it impacts your life and how changes in your value structure will help you to achieve what you really want.

The Awakening Bull
dig deep to access hidden resources in your own psyche. Examine personal values and align them with your inner core and eliminate those that are a by product of social conditioning and poor parenting. Learn not to depend on the material world for your inner security. Free yourself of the bondage and insecurities caused by physical attachments whether they be money, possessions, situations or relationships.
Find more rewarding and less destructive ways to nurture yourself and express yourself freely. Learn how to reconcile, connect and align your inner and outer worlds.

My entries about Shiastu and Kundalini Yoga, getting into the body instead of just being in the mind fall in line with Guru Rattana's comments that "the body must be honoured and used as a vehicle for the higher expression of the soul. Your physical body must be cared for to facilitate the masterful use by the mind and emotions to serve your inner purpose."

The Awakened Bull
The touchestones might be, "I want what I have." "I have myself." 'I desire the light."
It is the way of artful, spiritual living. Your spiritual presence inspires, your expression of Divine Will leads. Your artistic expression of life frees, uplifts and transforms everyone and everything you come in contact with.

In NMB 17
she writes about Taurus issues which include the desire for comfort, security and pleasure. Basic questions involving choices of how to use our time, money and energy. We ask ourselves questions related to Values, Security and Foundations. What do we truly value? What will give us real security? What are our foundations and are they built on values that give us real security?

Taurus energy teaches about magetism. What we attract depends upon what we believe we deserve and how much we value ourselves. Taurus teaches us that we must find out what we value and protect ourselves from being influenced by external disapproval of our personal value system. Our ultimate security is built upon self-acceptance and self-love.

How do we tune into Taurus energy? Taurus makes us slow down. Taurus energy also grounds us and helps us be very present in our bodies and aware of the sensations in our bodies.

Taurus main attributes or words that describe: stable, loyal, patient, sensual, indulgent, stubborn, resistant, immovable, lazy, slow and attuned to the natural world. Our goal is to allow ourselves to experience these energies and then to work with them and allow them to nurture, sustain and teach us.

Taurus teaches us that one of the highest forms of healing is available through self-love.

NMB 33 is so packed with information that I can't even quote from it.

NMB #87
How we value ourselves determines how we spend our time and money.
In Aries we defined our self. In Taurus we plant our garden. We figure out how to support who we are, how we get what we want, and how to survive and meet our basic needs.
The first steps in self discovery are coached by Aries. Our Taurus coach introduces us to things, possessions, resources and value (both personal and material.)

Value - we discover what we value - what makes us comfortable, what things give us pleasure, what physical situations we feel are necessary for our security. We learn about what we have to Do to get what we want. We learn about the practical economices of life and that we have to make and have money to buy possessions and services. What we also learn is that the value we place on ourselves is a determining factor in our ability to manifest both the necessities and foodies of life.

The sooner we link the two together, the more we can manifest and enjoy what we acquire:
1) the things that money can buy and how to generate enough money to purchase them
2) What money can't buy - our personal values, our self-worth and our unique talents.

If we are too fixate on the status quo and too influenced by our society and family patterns, we may fall into the rut of following a pathe that our parents deem appropriate for us and live by externally defined values that don't reflect what really makes us happy.

And because there is so much on Taurus I skip to her most latest NMB #147
You can always subscribe for the actual newsletters that are always filled with lots of info

Taurus and Scorpio (The full moon is always in the opposite sign which means that the opposite signs issues come up during the Sun signs stay). Taurus and Scorpio work together to help us understand what we want and what we have to do (or not do) to get it. We need to commit to changing what needs to be transformed. We can figure this out by reviewing our values, identifying our deepest desires and defining our highest priorities.

Taurus
- willing to work to achieve and maintain a secure, stable, material lifestyle.
- seeks to enjoy the peace of mind and the emotional serenity that material security and physical pleasures afford.
- needs to figure out how spiritual laws apply to the physical world and to learn how to function effectively in the physical world.
- involves learning about the laws of manifestation and the laws of attraction

The Taurus path requires:
1 - being grounded in the body
2 - operating effectively in the physical world
3 - being able to manifest and manage the resources to take care of ourselves
4 - experiencing spirit in our daliy lives
5 - attuning to and appreciating the beauty and sacredness of nature

Taurus needs to learn
1- to enjoy, not just be obsessed with the money game
2 - to establish a secure financial base and use it to take care of ourselves
3 - to overcome worries of not having enough
4 - to let go of anxiety about loss
5 - to enjoy and appreciate the wealth that it has

Taurus must build and be involved in some creative project to feel satisfied. Inner peace is elusive if we are not working with our favorite tools and producing something - music, arts, crafts, physical structures, or financial, construction or spiritual projects.

We follow our destiny path when we are engaged in divinely inspired creative endeavors. We can attain a level of contentment once our creative urge is appropriately focused and one pointed.

The Bull teaches us that right livelihood and work is a creative act, not punishment.

Aquarian Stuff

Monday 6pm 28Jan08

I'm always waiting for the latest New Millenium Being when the sign changes because I'm always interested in what to look at during that particular sign. Guru Rattana doesn't always get them out as soon as I would hope and I've since started to go back through her past issues for that particular sign to see what I can glean from them. There is always general stuff that you can focus on without necessarily knowing what planets are retrograde or direct and so forth. Other things remain the same, like the full moon is always in the opposite sign (Jan 22nd was in Leo) and the New Moon is always in the current sign.

So today I was reading on the past issues for Aquarius since that's what sign we are in. Happy Birthday Lolo!
I had a little chuckle when I read that my issues with unsolicited advice actually runs high in an Aquarian month and specifically the Leo Full Moon.

A quote from the New Millennium Being Number 81, Feb 3, 2004 issue says: "We are often challenged by our tribe mates, who are not happy with our behavior and disagree with our decisions. They openly or covertly pressure us to conform, rather than evolve. These growth periods breed inner conflict. Instinctively we fear exile, censorship and punishment for daring to have our own voice. The possibility of rejection makes us anxious. At the same time, your soul's need to be your own boss uncovers feelings of rebellion. In our hearts we know we will feel better when we allow more of true nature to be expressed and emerge and develop our individual approach to life and living."

"Those with an Aquarius Sun, Moon, Ascendant or multiple planets in Aquarius or the 11th house are innately rebellious and independent and have a visceral aversion to tribal dictates." Didn't I check my chart and didn't I find 4 or 5 planets in the 11th house? Interesting!

Some notes I've gleaned from the NMB's from 2004 to 2007 are as follows:

Leo Full Moon (the effects can be as long as a month)
- we can't suppress our creative urges without negative consequences. The real satisfaction comes when our creations uplift, entertain or support others.
- to grow we have to change. We break through our ego barriers (Leo) and take a giant step toward setting ourselves free (Aquarius).
- clarify our priorities, claim our power, recognize the disparities between our dreams and our reality and evaluate where we want to go next.
- Our soul has a chosen set of circumstances and personal qualities this lifetime. We can't change them. The first prerequisite for a happy life is to accept who we are. This makes it possible to more fully explore the possibilities where we are at choice and to embrace our gifts and challenges.

Aquarius New Moon
- lofty ideas need to be grounded in practical plans and realistic schedules for their implementation
- focus on chage, progress, transformation, evolution and our highest ideals. The Aquarian mission is to heal the wounds of alienation, isloation, inequality and injustice.
- What is your unique and vital role? What is your next step to more actively contribute to planetary healing?

Aquarius and his mentor Uranus
- represent our curiousity, our need to respond to new challenges and mental stimuli, our personal hopes, dreams, wishes, and our altruistic ideals for humanity.
- listen to our intuition
- We meet our destiny when we are called upon to do what we didn't think we could do and what we have never done before.
- What have I been dreaming of doing? Where have I not given myself the space to expand and enrich my life by making excuses or being afraid to change?
- We need to ask ourselves what we need. Perhaps (1) Time out from our routines to detach or use our creative energy for other productive endeavors. (2) A chance to view our life and the world through another set of lenses, where we can gain a clear, objective and more encompassing perspective. (3) An opening to evaluate relationships, habits, beliefs, our job circumstances that determine what we are doing with our life.
- the need to tak a new direction. The more we accept and deal positively with change, the less we suffer health problems. We have to become conscious and move out of denial whether we want to or not. Resisting change and holding on to the past can lead to accidents. If we are not willing, we are awakened against our will. Listen to and follow our internal guidance.

In the 2006 New Millenium Being Guru Rattana offers a physical exercise for grounding and containing your spiritual energy during Aquarius.
In the 2004 NMB, Number 81 she offers a simple meditation. In Number 82, a Self Love Meditation. And in NMB 115 she offers a bunch of goodies as well.
You can either subscribe to her monthly newletters or scroll down and click on a back issue at: http://www.yogatech.com/nmb/ (as always click the title of this entry to go to the website.)

EY