The Month of Aries - Guru Rattana

Tuesday 14Apr15

I'd lost track of Guru Rattana once she stopped sending her email newsletters each month and has stuck to posting on her site. But, lucky for me, she added me as her friend on Facebook so I'm back to seeing that reminder of when she posts her newsletter.

Speaking of being reminded, would you like to be reminded of my posts here? I invite you to subscribe to my blog. There's a little "Subscribe Me thingy there on the right hand side of my blog above the clock. It's powered by Feedblitz and you only get an email when I've posted on my blog. :)

Back in the old days of me blogging, when I used to blog daily, I would summarize her newsletter down to the bare bones.

I liked her comment/reminder of this month's newsletter : "As you evaluate your progress, move into the future, and continue to interact with the shifting energies this month (and every other month), remember that the planetary influences are not just active on a single day, week, or month. They have a cumulative effect and offer us gifts that we can take with us on our journey of self-empowerment, awakening, and self-love."

I always have a feeling about what I should focus on as her newsletter jogs old memories and cycles that I'm working with.


We're still in the month of Aries until April 19th and here are some tidbits that rang out for me from Guru Rattana's newsletter, Aries and New Beginnings:


The full month and beyond - Where have you noticed profound inner and outer shifts that set the stage for a new chapter in your life?
March 20th Pisces New Moon - take quiet time to be with yourself. Listen and feel deeply. Allow your soul to speak to you. Invite this total solar eclipse to help you clarify and affirm your highest priorities and values.

April 4th Libra Full Moon - the eclipse defines the areas in our life and the issues that we will be working on for the next 6 months.
Monitor where you are ‘being eclipsed’ from your routine way of thinking and being.
This is the third of four total lunar eclipses in a row. The first was in 2003-4 (What was up for you then?) and the next will be in 2032-33. The last one at 14 degrees Libra-Aries was on April 3, 1996. What was going on in your life at that time and how has your experience of those life challenges transformed?

The Aries archetype represents (1) the need and desire for new experiences, (2) the evolutionary development of our identity from ego to soul consciousness, and (3) building an internal sense of self that gives us independence, self-esteem, and the courage to face life from our own truth. To achieve these soul goals, Aries must overcome self-righteousness, inner anger, and impulsive recklessness.

Aries’ polarity Libra helps Aries achieve its goals. The Libra archetype represents the neutral mind, where we achieve the ability to be objective and acquire an attitude of fairness and compassion in all relationships, including our relationship with our own ego.

Uranus and Pluto are still influencing us through May 2016: we should have already (1) let go of some major impediments and illusions, (2) connected with a new level of self-empowerment, (3) know the direction in which we are going, and (4) be moving forward in a new life adventure. There is still time to catch this train, but it is slowing moving out of the station.

April 8 - Jupiter goes direct (I blogged about this yesterday):
we have been urged to release limiting beliefs about ourselves so that we can express our unique creativity and enjoy sharing our personal light in the world.

Upcoming dates
Saturday April 18 - Aries New Moon - The Aries New Moon is an appropriate time to examine how we approach and evaluate our lives. We are being supported to (1) renew ourselves, (2) liberate ourselves from past pain and struggle, and (3) more thoroughly enjoy the adventure called ‘my life.’

Taking a look at our mindset - We suffer from debilitating programming including, (1) The perceived need to be perfect. (2) Thinking ‘Something is the matter with me.’ (3) Believing, ‘I should have known the unknown in advance.’ (4) I am a victim of — you name your story! (5) My life would be better if — fill in your fantasy about coping out of your life lessons.

We can use the Aries New Moon to reboot our inner computer and start a new phase with some self- and life-affirming ways to evaluate and deal with our life challenges. Start by taking stock of how you have met the many challenges in your life. What have you gained from these experiences?

Thursday April 16th -
- make us aware of how we self-sabotage and to help us eliminate our victim programming.
- create the ground for self-empowerment at the most basic subconscious level so that we can trust our own inner guidance, be our own authority, and act with authenticity and integrity.
- inviting us to live for our soul and trust that the Infinite is always our partner in life.

Wednesday April 22nd - be honest about what we value, align with our truth, and take action to follow our heart.

End of newsletter notes.

I came across this article today by James Clear Using Bright-Line Rules. I like the idea of combining them with New Moon Wishes to create actions for my wishes.
An example of one of mine would be, "I only watch one round of the news each morning then turn the television off." (I find that the news can be like a negative mantra because I hear the same bad news repeated and repeated.)

EY

Human Design - The Experiment

Hey, What's Your Sign?

I've always loved Astrology. I like to find out what sign a person is. I like to have an idea of what a person might be like, of who I'm relating to. Of course I know that a person is more than simply a Taurus, that the deeper we delve into a person's full chart ,as opposed to simply their Sun sign, the more we can know about a persons possibilities. Some people still think that if you believe in Astrology that you're flaky but more and more people know their signs if you ask them. Some people will tell you their sign but will add the comment, "but I don't believe in it."

I get that.

To me Astrology is like creating a character for a novel. It's a part of figuring out what kind of person Kali is going to turn out to be. What's her personality. How does she view the world. Is she a sensitive Pisces? A witty, glib Gemini? a Passionate Leo?

I actually see that Astrology was a natural interest for me. There was so much confusion growing up. Confusion with people and who was going to be a good person and who would turn to violence to manipulate and who could betray your confidence and the multitude of options that people use to relate. When I meet people they really are characters to me until they become full fledged human beings. I create a profile of them in my thoughts and rule in beliefs about their personalities. Or rule out beliefs.

I think learning more about Astrology over the 30 or so years that I've been interested in it could be called an experiment. I find out what sign a person is and I notice what similarities that person has to other Aquarians I've met. The certain antics I've noticed that all Pisces men pull when they are playing at romantic interest versus the Pisces man who has a genuine interest. A pisces man will flirt, flirt, flirt and then when you show him an interest, when you want him to shit or get off the pot he'll turn around and say he has a girlfriend. But he won't come right out and say that directly. He'll say something like, "I've got this good thing going and I can't mess it up." or "My ex-girlfriend and I hang out together with our daughters. We lie in bed naked and ..." some random thing about their daughters coming into the bedroom and one daughter asks why are you naked and the other daughter knows why. You have to sit with it for awhile, asking yourself, "What does that mean?" before it sinks in. In other words, they have convoluted ways of telling you they are taken.

Anyway It's a long preamble to say that as I read other blogs and websites about The Human Design system that the thing I like the most is that just about everyone talks about it as the experiment. Because really we can only test things out and see if they are true for us or not. So I'm in the experiment. I'm looking back at where I've been invited and trying to understand the depth of invitations.

I've been looking at my full time job for instance. When I applied to work there it wasn't the first job I'd applied for. I had actually applied for a completely different position at another building. I was interviewed by three people at once. A nerve-wracking experience for sure. One of the interviewers was really shy so I'd make eye contact with her whenever I felt nervous. One person I asked the pointed questions to because he talked the most and seemed like the person who would make the ultimate decision. And I'd look at the HR manager for reassurance because she always had a smile on her face. It took them four weeks and they still hadn't made a decision. The HR Manager gave me a call and said, "Listen, they are taking too long to make a decision and I don't want to lose you. I've got another position available. It's a one year contract and it's a foot in the door. Would you be interested in interviewing for that?"

She told me about the job, the requirements, which I had in droves and off I went. When I got the job I called Joyce to thank her for being the smiling face in my original interview. "You really helped me to feel comfortable enough for me to show my best side."
"I just knew you'd be a good fit."
I've been at that job now permanently since 2005 after I worked it twice on two separate contracts for my predecessor's mat-leave. It's been a fun job. It's had its challenges but it's been a fun time. I see as part of the experiment of being invited that I was actually invited to that job. And with all that is said about Projectors and the right invitations and being recognized, I see how that was a great fit.

In the recent few years, everything has changed. None of the original people who hired me are there anymore. There is a whole new batch of people and the realization that I haven't been invited. And every time I attempt to make things happen, if I voice my opinions there is resistance. If I ask for anything there is resistance. In Human Design terms it would be called initiating.

So now what? I'm learning that there is an expiry date on invitations. That just because an invitation is perfect at one time it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to last a lifetime. It's time to get silent and wait for the next invitation. And I'm learning how to be comfortable around people who haven't invited me. That means keeping my mouth shut. Even if I have an idea on how to do things a better way, a more efficient way, a different way. With tests, I've watched how my emails are completely ignored. It was upsetting at first but now I see that I don't have to waste a lot of energy in trying to get my views across on deaf ears. Nor feel jarred by resistance.

As part of the experiment, I keep quiet. I stick to my office and do my job and as Bill Cosby would say, "just wait for my name."

A Projector's theme is bitterness. If I continue to bang my head against the wall, initiate, voice my opinions on deaf ears and meet the resistance, my natural progression would be to devolve into bitterness. I admit, I was going there. But I don't love bitterness. It feels crappy. It's exhausting and I have so many other interests. So I'm experimenting with simply being. And noticing energy.

There's a feeling of being invisible when I'm around people who didn't invite me there. It's interesting. I may start to say something and notice that no one is paying attention to me. I'll smile and say to myself, "You've got the invisibility cloak on." And then I'm happily silent. It's been saving me a whole lot of grief.

EY

We're in Cancer

Tuesday 1July 10:59am

So we're in Cancer now as of June 21st. I started to make notes on the previous New Millenium Beings but haven't got around to completing them. Ah What the heck, if you're that interested in them you know where to find them. I've mentioned it enough.

The last week of Gemini (June 16 to June 21) and the last couple days of mercury retrograde were filled with conflicting energies and all out craziness. Miscommunications were coming left, right, centre and off centre. Our office renovations were a mess. People insisted they'd booked the loading dock when they hadn't, people were trying to book the loading dock but had no information to give me. A couple people at work called me to train them on a certain system we use , because I am the expert, then proceeded to tell me how it should be done or just did it their way and then got pissy because it wasn't working. Hmm, if you're asking me to train you do you think you could just do it the way I've told you? I actually said to one of them, "If you know how to do it, why are you calling me? I have work to do." sigh

Then two of my girlfriends had a birthday and we were celebrating both combined. None of us could seem to make a decision about whether we wanted a psychic reading or not. It was the first time that I was cognizant of the exhausting energies swirling around the change of one sign to the next (Gemini to Cancer). So much so that I took the Thursday the 19th off. I was like, 'screw it, I am not going to be around people today.' ha ha! Oh yeah and there was a full moon in there too!

Work was a short day on Friday, June 20th and instead of my normal Shiastu treatment I came home to ready for the girl's birthdays. I made the mistake of watching Oprah and she had me boo hooing like a maniac! I went to take the bus to the restaurant because I figured I could get a seat rather then taking the subway during rush hour. WTF! The bus went into the subway lot then turned and went back towards my house! It took me two stops to get my bearings and decide what I was going to do. I took a friggin' cab otherwise I'd be late. I got to the restaurant and all of a sudden I was feeling off. They were taking forever to bring us to our table, our waiter took forever to take our drink orders and he had a fucking attitude, the girl I was sitting beside kept moving forward when talking to the girl beside her so I was totally blocked out. The girl across from me kept studying me sensing my out of sorts ness and I'm not used to being scrutinized. I tried to explain that dealing with men all the time can be exhausting and I go through quiet periods because I need to recharge but that I was fine. My two girlfriends, who get me, were fine. I said I didn't need to have a psychic reading but I was on the list. Everything was totally out of whack.

So I have the psychic reading and the first thing she focuses on is how out of sorts I am. Oh fuck! I don't want to discuss this!
But she gave me some ideas on how to get back to my centre, which is a good thing. And then the reading went in to freaky. She clipped into my creativity and just kept telling me stuff that was like the universe giving me permission to commit and focus on it. She talked about the struggles of working full time and trying to write in my spare time. She talked about a guardian hovering around me who I was never close to when she was alive and why she has chosen to be my guardian now on the other side. And all this was said after I sat down and said Hi! I didn't tell her anything about me. Oh and she has a cat named Gatsby! ha ha.

I wrote furious notes, like I do, and my reading was over. Being a person that needs to process what I've heard, what I've seen, what I feel, I didn't want to go back to the table and answer the inevitable questions. I stopped by long enough to say, "give her 2 minutes before you go for your reading," and made a bee line to the washroom. I got back to the table, looked at the table, looked at my empty chair did a full circle like a dog does before he lies down and said, "I'm going outside!" Said in that wacko almost scream, definitely too loud, crazed voice.
The scrutinizer says, "I'll come too?"
I nodded my head and flew down the stairs and out of the restaurant. The scrutinizer and one of the birthday girls joined me and chatted a little small talk and just waited for me to speak and surprisingly I spilled as I burst into tears. It was so weird because I'm not used to people being around when I go through my process. And I'm not used to people getting that I'm about to, I don't even know what to call it. It's like I'm open and there's too many energies coming through at once and I don't know how to put up the shield to control all the energies hitting me. Kind of like being stung by 800 wasps all at once, what area do you cover first?

Overall, it was an amazing reading and it was warming to actually open up and share at the time that my emotions were spilling over. And allow myself to be nurtured. It's not something I do often and I tend to feel embarrassed by it. On June 21st, I slept all day!

In Cancer I'm feeling all about sticking close to home. Cancer certainly is about the home. This past weekend, with a party a mere few blocks away, I stayed home and worked on my writing. I swear this is my first year of not joining in the Gay Pride Festivities. I realize that I don't hang around any gay men anymore. Not like I used to. Lately my life has been about all women. I've discovered that I have a half dozen close women friends. It's different for sure and really needed on the nurturing level, another Cancer thing. Especially since I spend all my work days surrounded by men.

I had those debates throughout the weekend about maybe getting out there and having some fun but I realized that I was having fun. I paraphrased Nelly Furtado's quote about working on her music which was, "When my friends were out on the weekends going to parties and having a fun time, I was at home working on my music."

And for whatever reason I'm facing off waiting. Waiting for friends to be available, waiting for men to decide their interest level, waiting until I have more money, waiting to write, waiting to live a meaningful life. Everything surrounding waiting. I've become so well versed at living as a single person, that's not a problem. But there are things that I think I'd like to do with people or that I think I have to wait to do until I have a running partner to do it with me. Or commitments I think I have to wait to make until the money is available...

A man was recently talking to me about whether he should adopt a couple kittens now or not. His apartment has small windows. He doesn't have a balcony etc. He said, "It's like trying to decide when it's the right time to have kids, it's never the right time you just have to plunge in." The first thing I thought was, 'Holy shit! What guy says that? Kids?"
Instead I said, "Or finding the right time to write."

And he's right we can always find an excuse or a valid reason to wait to do anything from adopting kittens to (the life changing) having kids and all the other wishes and dreams in between. So I'm thinking about waiting and asking myself what I'm waiting for, and I'm processing (like I do)...

EY

A Month? Gemini and June Energies

Sunday 8June08 11:03am
Wow it's been a month since I've been here last! No excuses. It's been 50% of good and 50% of a pain in the ass. Isn't that always the way? I've had big bouts of laziness and the odd spurts of motivation and I'm always challenged with finding my way through it all.

I've spent most of my time focused on my little kitten Gatsby, the pisces heartbreaker. He keeps me amused and gives me a loving, grateful focus which if you know anything about me, you know it's needed. What seemed like a crazy idea to most, adding a 4th cat to the fold, was a stroke of genius. Watching a kitten discover his surroundings and get excited over a crumpled piece of paper and other silliness reminds me to attempt to do the same thing in my life. Life is supposed to be an adventure, right?

Gemini is all about the mind. Has your mind been going a mile a minute? My mind has been all over the place but the thrilling thing is that I've had that Gemini level of detachment so the little annoyances haven't been quite as all consuming as they can be. Praise God! We're in the middle of office renovations at work during a Mercury Retrograde. Can you spell laughter?

I have to laugh because I'd lose my mind. Nothing is quite like the shop drawings that I had a hand in approving. The workers come in during the day and cause much disruption. Jackhammers are dead to me! I've breathed in more dust than any one person should ever inhale. I've gone home with headaches and sore shoulders from the tension. I can't open my desk drawers and sit at my desk at the same time. And what was going to be about a week of renovations has now gone into week three. We have a private pool betting on which month it will be complete and how many difficiencies will still be hanging over our heads. As much as possible I remain detached.

In keeping with the communication issues of Merc, people have been coming to me asking for help and when I try to give my help they proceed to interrupt me to tell me how much they know in keeping with the help they've requested. Oh, so you know how to do this then, you don't need my help? If it's my area of expertise and you call me for help, why must you insist that you actually know more than I do? I didn't call you. *sigh* Remain detached!

So I write notes in my handbook. I write about the peculiarities of others. I write descriptions for possible characters because we all know these kinds of people and sometimes (very rarely though, right?) we are those people ourselves. I feel like I'm making productive use of what could drive me crazy if I thought about it too much.

And back to Gemini, not that I left it. It took me forever to get the summary of all the previous New Millenium Being newsletters sorted through. Ahh in a year I'll have one done for each sign so next year I'll be more timely! The main points offered from Guru Rattana over the years have been to:
- Maintain a neutral mind,
- tune into your breath by slowing it down and breathing deeply,
- alternate nostril breathing
- train ourselves to listen - first to ourselves and then to others,
And in her most current newsletter she recommends for June:
1 - to not take yourself or every minute detail in life so seriously
2 - to make it your priority to uplift others and spread joy
3 - to make people and yourself laugh
4 - to change negative conversations into heart-felt connection
5 - to perfect our sense of humor.

Hmm! And Mecury is retrograde until June 19th, which means the direct energies don't really take effect until around the 24th or 25th. I'm giving it to the 26th to be on the safe side. ha ha!

I realized the other day that I got my cat Zoe, who died in November, during a Mercury Retrograde. Every thing that I was told about her turned out to be not what I'd expected. The ironic thing was that I had second thoughts about taking her because it was Mercury Retrograde but I'd talked myself out of the Second thoughts saying, "what could go wrong it's just a cat?" What could go wrong indeed. Sometimes I feel like a wacko when i discuss Mercury Retrograde except luckily I have enough friends who also believe in the strange energy to make me feel less wack-otic (my new word!) So I say believe it or don't believe it but keep a watchful eye out, regardless.

JUNE ENERGIES
Rev. Sheri Kozdron whose podcast Angel moments by Angel Messenger I listen to gave me some keywords/thoughts for June.
Gemini - information, reclaiming our mind, how our thoughts affect us.
Focus on love, generousity, peace and forgiveness
Sagittarius Full Moon - Our search for meaning.

And here are some links to the people I've mentioned:

New Millenium Being Archives Scroll down to the archives. Subscibe to the list, it's worth it! Guru Rattana gives so much free information that you can spend years reading it all, which I have. It's what finally got me into Kundalini Yoga. I'm proud to say that I have finally bought 4 of her books.

Angel Messenger Rev Sheri Kozdron has both a podcast and a blog.

Starchild also offers energies to focus on, use, notice for each month.

EY