Saturday 1:42pm 3Feb07
I'm always thinking about starting on my spiritual path to enlightenment but I often get all caught up with the fact that I like the taste of beer. Some how I have it in my head that if i'm to follow this path I'm going to need to give up drinking beer and live some sort of puritan existence.
Listening to my Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer Cd's and the ideas that they discuss, I tick off that imaginary checklist of some of the things I already do. Some of the things I fell into on my own, like the 4am rising. I've spent the last few days reminding myself that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It finally clicked in to my consciousness on Friday morning that I am already on the path. This is my path. I am a beer drinking woman on my path to spiritual enlightenment. ha ha!
Being on the path doesn't mean being perfect. And could I live with myself if I were perfect?
I discussed this with a girlfriend last night who listed off all the reasons why she is a failure or all the examples that prove that she has failed. I asked her if she ever felt like she was an outsider within her own family. She said yes. I told her that my interpretation of her life was that she has had to prove to herself that she can survive on her own, not leaning on her family. All the so called failures and failings and fuck ups were her way of proving to herself that she could survive anything.
You are already on your path. The things that you focus on that you feel bad that you haven't accomplished yet are only options for you to choose, if you want to choose them. If you want, you can choose something else.
A lot of people pay attention to me and what I do and how I think about things. What if I was the person to interest everyday people to notice what their path is? What if I am a guide to everyday people? Well I'd certainly be drinking beer with them, wouldn't I? I'd have a few beer and I'd speak to them in their language.
So I've decided that I am a beer drinking woman on my spriritual path to enlightenment. When my circumstances change so will my behaviour and when my behaviour changes so will my circumstances. And in the mean time I'm going to enjoy the taste of a beer or two.