21 June 2012

Sun in Cancer - Cancer Focus

I wrote in my entry, The Women I Follow that "Guru Rattana helped me to look at the signs we are in and create a focus pertaining to that signs qualities."

Well, as of yesterday, we moved out of Gemini and into Cancer.

Here are some notes I highlighted from Guru Rattana's Monthly New Millennium Being for the Sun in Cancer.

Cancer's evolutionary themes focus on
(1) finding security, i.e. feeling safe, secure, and protected in life,
(2) receiving nurturing and love,
(3) figuring out how to deal with intimacy and vulnerability, without getting lost or used,
(4) finding an inner identity that honors and supports (not try to transcend) the above human needs, and
(5) learning how to use our subtle sensory system to tap into the power of love in our feelings and emotional body.

The Cancer/Capricorn polarity pair is about creating a sense of security and nurturing within ourselves (Cancer) and sustaining this consciousness in the challenging circumstances of worldly activities (Capricorn.)

Cultivate a stable inner foundation using strategies that include:

(1) accepting our feelings
(2) the examination of our painful past and identifying the programming that keeps us in a state of trauma and fear, and
(3) choosing to learn from our tests, forgiving and loving ourselves exactly the way we are, and moving on to more satisfying soul experiences.

How do we know when we are avoiding the lessons that our emotional responses are trying to teach use? If the same emotional problems and relationship dysfunctions keep surfacing, the verdict is 'denial.'

Learn to pay attention to and to trust our instincts, which operate at a very subtle level. Instincts don't give us verbal messages. They give us feeling messages. It is critical that we train ourselves to pay attention. It is also important to validate ourselves and our sensitivity.

We need to legitimize our human needs and not feel guilty or shamed by our humanness. Accept and honor, not apologize for our sensitivity. When we acknowledge as valid our needs (and essence), it is easier to ask for what we want without fear or shame. And our self-accepting projection helps us get what we ask for.

Learn how to separate ourselves energetically from situations and relationships that cause us to feel overwhelmed, invaded, and sucked dry. The purpose of the separation is not to escape, but to give oneself the space to do the inner work necessary
(1) to be able to emotionally handle life,
(2) to be able to receive love and experience the juice of life, and
(3) to love ourselves with all our heart.

Every life experience offers an opportunity to test our inner progress. When we can stay present and relax into what we are feeling without being bothered and burdened by fear, without judging and criticizing ourselves, we are making real progress.

Relate to everyone and every experience as carriers of messages from the Universe.

An impediment to our human and spiritual growth is the expectation that life can be perfect and that we are supposed to be perfect ourselves. This belief sets us up to be even more vulnerable and afraid. We don't accept, and in extreme cases, even hate ourselves. We make ourselves miserable when we cannot accommodate and accept the imperfect human condition.

It is easy to identify where the 'should be perfect' belief shows up -- recurring situations that we must face over and over again despite our efforts to escape. These include changing locations, relationships, jobs, and even spiritual paths -- and finding that we face the same challenges in the 'new' situation.

We have to deal with the way we are. We are each born to find our power from our 'weaknesses' (undeveloped gifts). We find resolution in learning our life lessons.

The human path is not about transcending, or more accurately denying and suppressing our physical and emotional desires and needs. Our human path is about accepting our state as a child learning about life, ourselves and others through experience, i.e. trial and error, failure and success.

Our ability to embrace our own emotions and love our inner child, awakens us to subtle sensitivities of the inner child in every man and woman. When we witness how every human being is a child in this world (doing the best that they can!), we can relate to others with both respect, kindness, and compassion. We feel the deep longing to love and be loved and can speak to the heart of everyone's soul. Others feel accepted in our presence, which gives them the space to love themselves.

Of course, Guru Rattana's newsletter has far more in depth information. When I printed it off it was ten pages!

The three pieces of these notes that speak the loudest to me are:

1 - "Relate to everyone and every experience as carriers of messages from the Universe."

This is something I've been working on for a few years now. What is the Universe trying to tell me in this situation? What are the lessons in this experience?

2 - "We are each born to find our power from our 'weaknesses'(undeveloped gifts)."

That's beautiful. What are my weaknesses and how can I work with them, work on them, to turn them into gifts?

3- "Our ability to embrace our own emotions and love our inner child, awakens us to subtle sensitivities of the inner child in every man and woman. When we witness how every human being is a child in this world (doing the best that they can!), we can relate to others with both respect, kindness, and compassion. We feel the deep longing to love and be loved and can speak to the heart of everyone's soul. Others feel accepted in our presence, which gives them the space to love themselves."

This one hit home today after an altercation with someone which didn't have to turn into an altercation. I saw it mounting and didn't change my actions to stop it because I felt I was in the right.

The quote makes me think, "What if I could see this person's inner child, what would he look like to me?"

There is this one side of this volatile, grown man who has temper tantrums. And those cannot be tolerated. But then there's that aspect of an injured inner child, he's hurting inside and he doesn't know how to make it stop. I still won't tolerate the temper tantrums, mind you, but I can have a bit more compassion for him when I look at him this way. Interesting.


Sun in Cancer and other Astrological Events

I just got the latest New Millennium Being from Guru Rattana yesterday. I decided that I would start to journal around certain dates, things that are going on in my life to add to my Numerology and Personal Years notes that I keep from what I learn from Christine Delorey's forecasts

One of the things I've noticed in the more in depth Astrological forecasts that astrologers will discuss something like a current eclipse being similar to one that occurred in 1993. And asking if you can remember anything from that time and if so, a theme that emerged then may be repeated now but in a different way. If you read my piece on my cycles of personal years and discovering the repeated themes that I've faced, you can see the importance to me, anyway, of keeping track. Whatever I can learn and use. :)

Here are the dates and Astrological Events that will be included in my notes, stuff to focus on, stuff to keep in mind, stuff to look for:

(Of course, if you subscribe to Guru Rattana's New Millennium Being, you'll get far more info and a Kundalini Yoga mantra to practice during the month of Cancer.) I'll do another post with some Cancerian themes to look for during the month.

The message is CHANGE!

JUNE 20 - SUMMER SOLSTICE and Sun moves into Cancer - The electric Gemini energy gives way to softer, more nurturing energy.

JUNE 23 - Ceres the dwarf planet that symbolizes the Great Goddess moves into Gemini. Our alliances and communications are now empowered by feminine expressions as we are less in our head and more in our hearts.

JUNE 24 - First of 7 exact Uranus/Pluto squares between now and 2015. Uranus calls for freedom, reform, innovation, and revolution. Pluto obliges us to look at what is hidden in our subconscious that gets in the way of expressing our authentic soul power. Squares mark major turning points. We are obliged to transform from deep within and to make major changes in our personal and collective lives. You may have noticed that the pressure for transformation is increasing.

JUNE 25 - SATURN goes DIRECT. Notice if you feel like a burden is lifted and that you can finally move forward with the projects that have been held back.

JUNE 27 - Venus goes direct at 7 degrees Gemini More forward movement and now you know what you want.

SATURN (JUNE 25) AND VENUS (JUNE 27) GO DIRECT - going to feel a sense of relief and more energized . Will feel less resistance and be able to finally move forward. It has been a strange year with these long periods of retrograde including the Mars retrograde. So don't be so hard on yourself if you feel like the time has passed and you haven't gotten much done. (June 27 to 12July to feel relief and energized - take action and advantage of the direct movement while it lasts.)a couple weeks and plunged back into retrogrades - take action and advantage of the direct movement while it lasts. After August 7, only the outer planets (Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) will be retrograde, until October 4 when Jupiter goes retrograde in Gemini. We have 2 months (August 7 - October 4) when we can flow with the cosmic tailwinds. These 2 months are going to be the action months of 2012 - plan now.

JUNE 29 - Sun at 8 degrees Cancer opposes Pluto and squares Uranus. Transformation! intensity and force for change.

JULY 3 - MARS enters LIBRA

JULY 3 - CAPRICORN FULL MOON - talk less and feel more.

JULY 13 - Uranus goes RETROGRADE - When an outer or slow moving planet like Uranus changes direction, its presence and influence is intensified for weeks. The 5 months that Uranus is retrograde (until Dec 13 on the Sagittarius New Moon) gives us a chance to identify what programs, beliefs, and cultural conditioning enslave our psyche and to let them go.

JULY 14 - MERCURY goes RETROGRADE - in Leo invites us to pause and identify if we are operating out of our ego or heart.

August 7 - MERCURY goes DIRECT 

JULY 18-19 - CANCER NEW MOON (28 degrees) - Our ability to fearlessly move forward in our life (Capricorn) will be a good way to monitor the progress we have made in dealing with our Cancer issues. Since our inner reality (Cancer) greatly influences our outer reality (Capricorn), our outer life will demonstrate our inner success.

July 18 – 19 - Mars opposing Uranus and squaring Pluto - intensity and force for change. their effects build up and continue through July. the cardinal dynamic is active and may play out in relationship issues. By taking action, you will relieve some of the pressure and feel better. If you want things to happen, know that you are being supported by the planets to co-create what you want.

Hope this info is of interest to you too.


19 June 2012

New Moon in Gemini

I subscribe to Astrologer Dawn's email newsletter and one of my favourite emails to receive is on the New Moon and New Moon wishes to focus on.

The New Moon started today and is in Gemini. Gemini rules communications. Last month's new moon was also in Gemini on May 20th. She wrote two similar newsletters for both of the new moons. The 2nd newsletter gives more details. I'm going to quote from both newsletters.

I chuckled as I read them both today (I'd kept a copy of the 1st one last month) because I realized that the newsletters were actually applying to my recent blog entries.

In Dawn's email she says, "When the New Moon enters Gemini your wishes need to be around expanding your communication skills."
In relationships she wrote, "Moon in Gemini revolves around being heard and hearing and seeing others. You might write, I find myself easily communicating my thoughts, emotions and needs in a loving gentle manner. Or I want to find myself setting healthy boundaries and the ability to communicate those boundaries in a positive light." This applies to my blog entry on Social Media and friend requests.

"This month is also about changing your perception about issues in your life. Make some wishes around clarity, I want to find myself peaceful and calm in the face of difficult situations." My blog entry Snake Venom and the Wolves

"Another wish might be I want to easily find myself looking at situations in a positive manner; coming up with a variety of solutions." Both blog entries
Snake Venom and the Wolves and Today's Investing in my Happiness.

"Until we design the life that we want to live we are just reacting to the world. We need to be responding so that the decisions we make fall in line with who we are, where we want to go and how we are going to get there."

I've worked with setting New Moon goals for several years but since I've been following Astrologer Dawn's I've been getting more clarity on specific things to focus on with each Astrological sign the moon is in. The closer to the new moon that you make your wishes, the better. And the new moon period is up until the full moon.

I'm off to tweak my new moon wishes on some other bigger changes I want for myself.

Hope it's something you'll consider doing too. :)


Investing In My Happiness

Since Saturday’s question of where the venom comes from, I’ve been taking another look at what makes me happy. I took an uncomfortable look at the ways that I am filled with venom. The ways I can be dismissive or downright mean. Hey I’m no saint. :) The more I thought of those difficult, woman in the mirror, realities of my personality, the more I thought about ways to solve it for me. And that is to focus on making myself as happy as possible as often as possible. I know that when I have a focus that is larger than the annoying realities I can shrug the annoyances off. My best example is when I worked in retail and kept my focus on my writing and never got caught up in the work place dramas or affected by nasty customers etc.

If I’m going to continue to transform the venom injections of each day, I need to have a ready repertoire of what makes and keeps me happy. You know, simple and manageable stuff that keeps me going.

Have you ever checked out Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project? Gretchen spent a year “test-driving the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happier.” And then she wrote a book. She can guide you with far better information on, well, making a project out of it.

My little list started with the promise that I would get back into getting up early to write and do yoga. As a motivation, I decided to tell myself that it was an investment in my happiness, so I wouldn’t press the snooze button and roll over. The rest of the list is just choosing from things I already own or things that are free or cheap. To remind myself that I don’t have to spend money. Although it’s nice to spend money once in awhile. :)

1- My number one goal is to get back to doing stuff for me in the mornings before I go to work. That’s at least my morning pages and a session of Kundalini Yoga. Truly, that investment is the one that pays me the most. I just plain old 'feel good'. I am putting my goals first, making my goals a priority by getting up to do them. I feel more motivated when I get to work, less distracted. Some times I can be in a bad mood simply because I’m mad at myself for not getting stuff done. So I’m getting up when I wake up. Monday it was 3am and this morning it was 4:07 am. I used to be a religious 4am riser but then I let it fall by the wayside. Dr. Wayne Dyer mentioned it in the most enlightening way quoting Rumi –“ The morning breeze has secrets to tell you, don’t go back to sleep.” I love that idea, I will hear the secrets if I simply get up. Get up! Get up! And the secret is that I’m way more productive and happier if I don’t press snooze for 15 more minutes of shut eye. Plus when I get up the moment I wake up, I’m actually less tired than if I sleep by the snooze button.
A good article on reasons to rise early

My other ways to invest in my happiness in no particular order are:
2- Sitting somewhere to feed the squirrels. I love squirrels, they make me laugh, they are fun to watch and feeding them reminds me that the Universe always provides so trust in the Universe.
I love what Squirrel Meaning and Symbolic Thoughts about Squirrels has to remind us about squirrels.

It's not commonly known that the squirrel only actually finds 10% of the nuts he hides for safekeeping. This is another message from the squirrel that we can also foolishly over-prepare.
Although, I like to think that what one squirrel doesn't find, another squirrel does.

This one says:
The gathering power of Squirrel is a great gift.
It teaches us balance within the circle of gathering and giving out.
They remind us that in our quest for our goals,
it is vital to make time for play and socializing.

Squirrel teaches us to conserve our energy for times of need.
If your totem is Squirrel or Squirrel has recently entered your life,
lighten your load of things that are unnecessary –
things that you have gathered in the past and may be cluttering your life –
thoughts, worries, and stresses.

3- Music & Singing – I have a vast music collection because I love music and I worked at a Record Store back in the day. I used to meet up with a girlfriend every Sunday for breakfast and she also has a vast collection. One year, she decided that she would play all of her music in alphabetical order and every week we'd meet up and she'd say, "I listened to the Bangles, The Beatles... Next week I'm moving onto the C's."
I'm going to pull that idea out of the vault and start doing that.
And the singing part is self explanatory. lol I love to sing and my cats tolerate it. :)

4- Playing with my cats (speaking of the cats). Gatsby , my tuxedo, loves to play fetch with a straw. He will sometimes bring the straw to bed to remind me that anytime I’m ready, he’s ready. Zelda, my grey domestic long-hair, loves to get under the sheet just as I’m flicking it in the air to put on the bed. She meows as I tickle her through the sheet. And I giggle! I've been trying to do that earlier every night so I can play longer with her before I have to go to sleep.

5- Ken Burns Jazz . I like to slip in a DVD while I’m getting ready for work and listen to stories of Jazz. I wish there were more affordable Jazz collections.

6- Crockpot cooking. I used to do more of this. And would try out zany recipes. I need to pick that up again. Cheap, easy, set it and forget it and leftovers!

7- Scribble Drawing – I literally scribble on a piece of paper. And then look for shapes and colour them in. It’s like looking for shapes in the clouds only doing it on paper. I have a sketch book filled with them. Perfect to do in a waiting room.

8- Long Walks – walking dates. This is my favourite way to get together with friends. A good walk across the city, through the ravines, along the water, anywhere. Sadly, not enough of my friends say yes to it. My one friend Lolo will walk until I say stop because my joints are hurting. Lol It’s free, you spend quality time together, you get a work out, you get to see the city.

9 - Spiritual Cinema Circle – I’ve been a member for several years now, so I have quite a collection of movies and shorts. They are a nice change from the Hollywood blockbuster. I watch them more on a winter weekend and I’m always thrilled with what I watch. One of my favourite shorts is about a little girl who outgrows her imaginary friend.

10 - And of course the zillions of physical books I have in my place, still unread. Plus my kobo and kindle that I carry every day!

11 - And Food! The summer and the best fruits. Blueberries and raspberries for breakfast makes me smile with each bite. Walking with a bag of CHERRIES! Oh Cherries, how I squeal the moment they are available. lol Fresh Strawberries in an almond smoothie. Watermelon, morning, noon and night! It's so easy to eat healthy in the summer!

So, yes, that's my easy list. Are you thinking about yours? Please do tell me what you do to invest in your happiness?


17 June 2012

Snake Venom and The Wolves

Hay House was live streaming Dr. Wayne Dyer's movie My Greatest Teacher this weekend. I guess to fall in line with Father's day.

The quote from it that started my day yesterday was, "It's not the snake bite that kills you, it's the venom." The interpretation was that we stay so focused on the bad things that happen to us that they become a venom in our systems.

So many little things can get into our systems and affect our reactions to everything. You know, so many of us walk around with a negative spin on life and we don't even notice it.

I went to my cats vet clinic for their open house, yesterday. I've always wanted to know what it looked like behind the scenes. What a gorgeous place. When I adopted my Gatsby from them, I had promised that I would use them for all my cats because my experience with them had been so positive. They've cared for my 4 cats and were beyond compassionate and gentle when I had to put down Picasso in 2010 and Quincy in Feb. I love their staff, so it figures that I would get a large dose of inspiration going there yesterday.

I left my house with the question, "Where is the venom coming from?" Because I knew I wanted to write about it. I know I still have a lot of work to do with my level of patience in certain situations. I have to admit, I am so tired of working with people who don't know how to do their jobs, after years or months of working in their positions. I can't always hide my disdain. It is becoming venom in my system. I need to remind myself to keep my eyes on the goal, my goal.

I sat with my co-worker on Thursday and we had a conversation about a disturbing news piece that has been swirling around Canada for the last little while. The news has been about a guy (I refuse to mention his name and give him more air time) who killed a Chinese student in Montreal, mutilated the student and mailed his parts to a political party office and to Vancouver. It's such a disturbing story and with every new breaking news piece, it just gets to become more disturbing.

My co-worker and I were talking about how these news pieces can really set us up to think that the world is one big cesspool. I'd commented that since I got rid of my television that the only way I can watch the news live is by watching the morning shows like the Breakfast television livestream. Of course every hour they cycle through the same news stories and it almost becomes like a mantra of murder and violence and the incomprehensible. It becomes venom in the system. I've made a new promise to myself that I will only listen to the news in one cycle and then I'll turn it off.

There are so many areas in life, my life where there are opportunities to be injected with venom. Am I going to let the venom poison my bloodstream or am I going to transform the poison to make me stronger?

I was processing all these thoughts as I entered the vet clinic. Everyone was smiling as I walked in. The vet clinic manager walked right up to me the moment I got in there. Big friendly smile, her little poodle named Reggae in her arms. Reggae is a poodle with dreads. Cuteness overload! The manager says with a smile that she will be happy to give me a 'backstage' tour but would I like to help myself to something to eat and drink first? I opted for the food and drink first, I was hungry. lol

Now just as an aside, are you thinking, "oh of course everyone is smiling, they are having an open house. They want your business!"? Sometimes I think that and it's a little negative spin on something that is nice. It's a drop of venom. It takes away from the friendliness. It gives everyone an ulterior motive and I can't fully enjoy myself. Thankfully I wasn't thinking that when I went it. What I was actually thinking was, 'it will be nice to see how many people work here.' Every time I've been there with my cats, I've met someone new.

I got to see the vet who put down my Quincy in February. She had been so touched with Quincy and me, when I had to put her down, that Jamie sent me a condolence card saying so. I balled my eyes out when I got that card, saying that she was touched to have been a part of my experience with my girl and that even though she didn't know me that she felt the love that I have for my pets and that I was a good cat mommy for doing the right thing for Quincy.

I gave her a big hug when I saw her and told her, "I was hoping I'd see you."

I had some strawberry cake with a crazy, tasty fondant. I chatted with a guy who has a hot-dog dog. Yes, I know what they're called. I still like to call them hot dogs. lol
I got my tour, got to pat some kitties and dogs in boarding and got a good appreciation for what their place is.

There was a woman painting a painting of Reggae, the dread-locked black poodle. Her name is Emilia Jajus. I watched her paint a little and I was ready to go. Then out of the blue I looked at her and asked, "How long have you been painting?"

She's been painting since she was a kid of course, said that she moved to Toronto when she was in her twenties, realized that Toronto was more of a 'business' town and got herself a job in a corporate office. She kept painting on the side and as she put it, "my entire cubicle was filled with my work, all my co-workers kept saying I was in the wrong business."

When the economy tanked she was laid off and took that opportunity to put her focus on painting full-time. It wasn't a difficult transition because she had been doing it on the side. And she literally had a painting gig for Starbucks, I think, to sit in one of their coffee shops and paint for a week. She's been painting full time since 2008.

We exchanged contact information and she emailed me yesterday, as promised.

I left the vet clinic feeling inspired by Emilia.

I went to get my groceries and in the grocery store, they made an announcement that the BBQ chicken that is normally $8.99 was on sale all day for $6.99. I thought I'd grab one so I could have a readymade lunch. I wanted a relaxed day, might as well have cooked food, so I don't gotta! :)

I get to the check out and the chicken rings up as $9.99. I mention it to the cashier and she says the price will reduce in the end. It didn't. She checks and rechecks my bill, then says, "I think you have the wrong chicken."
I say, "but those are the only chickens there."
She offers to take it off my bill and I originally say yes, then I change my mind. I wanted that chicken, it was the best looking golden, brown chicken of the bunch. And then a drop of venom as I was leaving the store - "Stinkin' store, they tell you they have a sale and then only offer the expensive chicken that's not even on sale."
And I caught myself, I could have refunded the chicken but I chose to keep it because I wanted it. GET OVER IT AND JUST ENJOY NOT HAVING TO COOK!

It was tasty. I had a couple chicken legs and thighs and a beer. And the rest of the chicken made into chicken salad for sandwiches during the week. A nice Saturday afternoon bite, some leftovers, and a great day overall.

And Emilia. She reminds me of another friend of mine who got laid off from her radio job and decided to focus full time on her singing. Every time I go to her gigs, she just looks so happy. She told me, "I may have to get a part time job in a few months but I really love the way my life has turned out since I've made my singing a priority."

It really reminds me that the main key to transforming the venom in our systems, in my system, is to be focused on what we love. Back in the day, when I worked in Retail, I always had my mind on writing. What I was going to write that night, what I was going to write in the morning before I went to work. I didn't have the venom. Or better yet, I transformed the venom before it affected me. Nasty customer? Shrug shoulders, as soon as this shift is done I'm going home to write.

This morning as I was checking Facebook, my friend Che had shared the picture up there of the two wolves and which wolf you choose to feed. I commented on her share that it was timely. ha! It sure was.

I want to feed the wolf who looks for the inspiration in life. It's everywhere. :)

Check out Emilia Jajus website and gallery. She is as talented as she is beautiful


13 June 2012

Putting Yourself/Myself Out There

Liking my page, reading my blog, friendship requests and selling myself on the internet.

Some people just don’t care what you’re up to. They don’t care. And they have every right not to care. I have a Facebook page as Shelley-Lynne Domingue, writer. I haven’t sold my writing, I haven’t completed my novel. I’m putting myself out there, fitting myself into the shoes of the someone I want to be. Wish me luck, motivation and perseverance.

I haven’t asked many of my friends to like my page, in fact, I’ve never mentioned on my personal face book side that I even have the page. I’ve only sent invitations to people who I was pretty sure would support me. And I kept the invitation no pressure, “like my page if you like and if you don’t want to don’t worry. No hard feelings and I won’t ask you again.”
I kept it low pressure because I have witnessed it all before. I was right about most of the invitations. I have 12 friends who pressed like on my page and 8 people who didn’t. I only invited 20 people.

I have a singer friend who declared once, “if you don’t come to see one of my gigs this year, I will take it to mean that I’m not really your friend.” She of course forgot that many of us had been to several of her gigs over the years. After her ultimatum, I never went to one of her gigs again and I actually liked her singing.
I have known actors who only want to discuss what show they are in now and whether you are going to buy a ticket. Thankfully my actor friends are more sensitive about their sales pitches and usually wait until you ask them, what are you up to?
I have friends who have Facebook pages who send repeated invitations and then put as a status update, “I have 1000 friends why do I only have 10 likes on my page?”
Sometimes, when I’m cranky I want to say, what if I like you but I don’t like your work? It is more than possible. There are some people i like but I don’t like their work.

I discovered/ realized when I first started to blog in 2006 and 99% of my friends ignored my blog:
Maybe people don’t care
Maybe people don’t pay attention
Maybe people don’t like your work
Maybe people are overwhelmed.
And I’m sure there are more maybes to add to the above. But those are the maybes that are affecting me these days. :)

How much of an Internet Presence is good versus overkill?
I’ve been thinking about my internet presence by default. I’ve been watching what others are doing and what I think will work for me or not work for me from what I like and what annoys me. I’ve been asking myself how much I want to be connected to others and in what way.

I have been in overwhelm since I did Robert Lee Brewer’s MNINB’s Platform Challenge . I signed up for almost everything that Robert suggested during the challenge except for Linked In and Klout. As the platform challengers grew in enthusiasm and decided to keep a community they started a Facebook group, of which I joined. We’ve exchanged twitter handles, Facebook pages links to be liked, blog addresses. I have followed and liked and subscribed to every blog that provides an email subscription. I’m so overwhelmed with all this activity, I’ve only been able to check out a couple blogs and make somewhat encouraging comments. There is some great writing out there and I need to free up more of my time to read that great writing.

So with that said, as people from the group start sending me invitations to be friends on Facebook, I have decided to decline. I have to have a place where I can keep up with the people I actually know face to face. There are a few friends on my Facebook who I’ve never met but we have connected through their work for several years and we feel like we “know” each other. We have things in common that we’ve discussed a lot over the years.

I am 2 people short of 500 friends on Facebook. That can be a lot of items in my newsfeed. There’s no way I’m going to be able to catch everything about everyone. Honestly, I don’t know how people manage having 5000 friends and the possibility of all those people popping up in their news feeds. And people who have their twitter account connected to their Facebook so that every tweet shows in their Facebook feed. HELP! OVER KILL!

For me, it makes more sense to have a page and use that to connect outside of my personal Facebook account. I want to be a part of a writing community but I can’t have it be in every little nook & cranny of my online presence. I need to have a place or two for my personal life. I know someone who says, “Writing is like breathing to me.”
Nope, breathing is like breathing to me. And writing is writing. I love writing, I do it as much as possible but I could continue to breathe without it. I’d be sad but I’d breathe. Maybe writing is more like a lover to me. :)

Some of the things I’ve noticed as I’ve increased my on-line Presence:
Facebook: Absolutely everything has a log in as Facebook option. Why would you want to log in everything on to Facebook? Then when you read the article on some condition you don’t want your friends to know about, they know anyway, because yahoo tells Facebook and Facebook provides an update with a link saying you read the article on “name that embarrassing condition.”

Facebook pages vs Personal Profile: Most people who have a page put the same content on their pages as they do in their personal account. The same status, the same “read my blog entry” notification, the same everything.

Personally, I have different content on my Facebook page compared to my personal profile. In my opinion, why should my friends bother liking my page if they can get all the same stuff on my personal profile? Plus, I don’t sell to my friends, so I don’t post my blog entries on my personal profile, ever. If people ask me where they can read my writing, I tell them about my page and my blog. Also then they are genuinely interested. I feel like if I post my blog entries on my personal profile that my friends then feel obligated to read them, whether they want to or not and then they have to compliment. So I don’t create that atmosphere. I want my friends to be my friends. I don’t have any other expectations from them. I don’t expect them to be my readers. I want my friends to be my friends.

Twitter: almost everyone who has something of theirs to sell seems to send that initial Direct message (DM) the moment you follow them. “Hey, Thanks for the follow! I have, I have, I have and follow this and this and this” ha-ha! It’s a bit of a turn off.
I’ve only received 2 DM’s where the people said specifically “if you are interested in prosperous Martians, consider my latest book on prosperous Martians.” As luck would have it, their topics are something I am actually interested in.
And a third DM was sent from Erik Wahl, who has the distinction of being the only person to say, “Hey I’m an artist and this is where you can check out my work, WHERE can I check out yours?”

And Twitter: Did I mention the twitter updates that are posted on Facebook? Every single one? Again, so why am I following you on Twitter when I’m getting the same content on Facebook? (shrugs shoulders)

When I have something to Sell:
I think one of the things I’m seriously considering is how do I like to be sold to? I like buying and finding things to buy in an organic, natural way. I never ever buy anything from overkill. In fact, I will not buy something I like from overkill, out of spite.

While it’s lovely to have great blog stats of page views, and lots of people liking our Facebook pages and enough Twitter followers to rival The Bieb, what does it really mean? If most of them are tuning us out because they liked our pages out of obligation, what purpose does that serve?

When I first started to blog in 2006, once I had a fair amount of blog entries, I emailed my friends to tell them I was blogging. No one replied to my email. No one told me if they even looked at my blog in passing. I was hurt at first but then I put it into perspective. They were too busy, disinterested, forgetful, or they checked out my writing and didn’t like it.

I had to decide, if none of my friends ever looked at my blog would it mean that what I had to say wasn’t important? I let the hurt go and kept with my goal.

Then one friend subscribed to my blog. She was a new friend, at the time, who asked me where she could read my writing and after a bit of reading, she subscribed. She has always been a great reader too. When we saw each other she would tell me about the blog entries that she liked, or made her laugh. And if something really connected with her, she would email me to tell me how it spoke to her, how it reminded her of something she’d been through etc. It really built our friendship. And in the grand scheme of followers, it’s so much better to have one reader who actually reads my entries than a whole bunch of followers who ignore my entries altogether.

I did end up with other bloggers who became followers and subscribers. People whose blogs i read, people who discovered me on their own through who knows what avenue. And some of them are now my Facebook friends, but that’s after years of creating a relationship.

I think it’s good training ground anyway. When I finally sell my work, when I have that book launch or whatever, most of my friends will not show up. Some will purchase my work but most probably won’t. Some people won’t even give it a second thought, for whatever reason. I expect that now and I have no control over it. And I'm OK with it.

So I'm going to keep on doing what I love to do. Find the common folk with the common interests in an organic way. And keep my personal little nook of the interwebs personal. I hope there are no hard feelings. I'd love to have you subscribe to my blog and like my page on Facebook. And leave a comment every once in awhile, if you feel like it.

In my little, figuring out what I have to say in my writing Field of Dreams, "If I write it, they will come... eventually" :)


12 June 2012

Cycles and Patterns - The Cycles of Years

It was last year that Christine Delorey (creativenumerology.com) mentioned going over my previous personal years and writing down all the events I could remember. I took her advice as just, “Oh that’ll be fun and interesting,” not realizing how informative it would really be. I went back into the 1990’s and made notes. This year I’ve been going back further, all the way to my birth. And by the way, if you were ever considering writing your memoirs, this will be a perfect undertaking.

This year, I’m in a personal 9 Year. I’ve taken her advice a step further and I cut and pasted all my previous 9 years into this year’s notes to see at a quick glance what I can learn from the past that will help me today.
Early on, I seemed to sense what the themes would be or maybe what my focus would be for this year. This year for me, is about clearing out the past – and as I’ve discovered through looking at my previous 9 years – Trusting in the Universe.

In looking back at my previous 9 years, I kept it simple. I asked, What have I done in previous 9 years and I listed all that I can remember.

In previous 9 years, I have had major changes that were originally painful but I was happy with the change in the end. I’ve dated disappointing men - a theme of them who all virtually said the same thing either in actual words or with actions (in 1985, 1994, and 2003!)and they all showed up when I was at my happiest (when I felt good about myself) and they wiped it out! When they were done I’d lost some of my light and it felt like a struggle to get it back.

In 2003 My new male theme was to meet men who were taken but only said so after I started to show interest in them after they’d been trying to get my attention. I’ve met at least one per year (every year) since then.

I realized a lifelong goal in one 9 year (1994).

I had a note in my personal manual that says “Remember 2003 when I left my job and trusted that the money would appear and it did!”

I’ve left major jobs that everyone said I was crazy for leaving (1994, 2003). In 2003, not only did I leave a major job that everyone said I was crazy for leaving but I decided not to look for work. I decided that for once in my life, I was going to Trust the Universe without fear, that the universe would provide for me. And it did. I was out of work most of the year, I lived off my savings, worked one shift a week at my part-time job, and I took a course that was $2500, (a lot of money when you don’t have a job!), and other money appeared. And when I thought that I would need to work soon because I was going to need money for rent, my old boss called me and said, “Hey, you want to come back for a 1 year contract?” I was working a week later. That information is so important for me to know. To help me to relax, because I forgot about that time in the new cycle of personal years running from personal year 1 to this year, my personal year 9.

Teaching in my 9 year what I learned in my previous 9 years:

Also I’ve been telling friends this. Artists who have spoken to me about their sadness for a good thing ending (a great show with great cast and relationships or a full-time music playing gig coming to an end) I’ve told them, ‘You created this good so create more of it.”

A friend who has been looking for an apartment and was in the stressful zone, I said, “write down the qualities of what you want in your new apartment and let the Universe take care of it.” Last report, she told me that her current landlord has given her more time to look for a new place and the places she has been looking at have been more within her interest and what she can afford.

Another friend I was telling about paying off my credit card and how I wrote down as a goal that I would pay it off by June 2012. That I had no way of knowing how it would be paid but just to trust that the Universe would help me, guide me to getting it paid. And it was paid before June 2012.

In 2003, I started that cycle of trust but somewhere along the line I lost my way. That’s why I have a document that I call my Manual of Me where I keep track of stuff. It’s so easy to get off track, to get distracted.

Trust in The Universe
In this personal 9 year, I want to go back to living in that Trust that continues on in each new personal year and not just in Personal 9 years. That is my new goal, I know it works.

My Personal 8 Year

I went through 4 years of complete hell. The more time spent in hell the more I turned to Christine DeLorey’s wisdom. Creative Numerology . Finally at the end of my personal 7 year in 2010 which brought me to my knees, I decided to purchase Christine’s personal year book for my personal 8 year which would be in 2011. Mostly because my personal 8 year was going to move me in a positive direction. One of the things Christine had mentioned to me personally in our Facebook communications was that if I faced down the demons of my 7 year, my personal 8 year would clear out most of the junk and dirt. I had to be brave. The personal 8 year would be more of a solitary year but with a difference.

In 2011, my personal 8 year, I found that it took me a few months, probably three, to shake off the stench of the previous year and the fear of the previous four years. It was interesting, I entered 2011 with the attitude of, “If I have to fight for my rights, my voice, my value, I will burn everything down in my path.” but I also had the trepidation that “more of the same” might be my destiny. You know how when you first get off a motorcycle your legs are still vibrating? Well my everything was still vibrating. I was focused on climbing out of the shit pile but that shit smell was still following me a little.

I’m big on themes and titles and at some point I called 2011 “Solitary with a Purpose.” By the end of 2010 (my 7 year) I declared that the push and pull and abuse of the year was all orchestrated to make me say it... I wasn’t going to be a door mat for anyone anymore. I would try to be nice about it first but since the previous hell years proved time and again that that not every one could hear nice, I’d have to make the decision to speak up for myself in all incidences. ‘It doesn’t matter, things will happen the way they happen, speak up for yourself!’ I promised myself that I would yell it until they heard me. And if certain people still couldn’t hear that, then they had to go. No looking back. I’m done with you, cross the street if you see me. ha-ha!

At some point within 2011, I realized that the Solitary with a purpose theme was to enable me to hear my voice and dream my answers. I’m not big on unsolicited advice because it blocks out my voice and when my voice is blocked I don’t remember the dreams I have at night that actually provide me with the answers that I need.

I started keeping notes of any event that felt pertinent. And now as i look back they will provide me with info for years to come.

In January, I made a decision about a person I had an acrimonious relationship with that not only would I get my act together (Make a plan) but I would move on when I said so (my decision, not his). I wasn’t going to simply run away.

In February, I was ‘walking in anger’ as I called it in my notes. I was confrontational and I was calling it as I saw it. Yes a few people were left in tears, it was a process that was needed. The pendulum swings to extremes before it comes to the middle.

In April, during the Easter Long weekend, I had what I call a Spiritual Awakening that included a complete emotional breakdown/ release. I love the timing of life sometimes. Right on time! The Thursday before Good Friday I watched You Tube videos of elephants specifically a series on Shirley and Jenny. (We can watch TV and be on the computer at my part-time job.) By the time my co-worker came to give me my break, I was brimming with emotion. I tried to tell her about those videos and all that they were teaching me but instead I went into these uncontrollable sobs. The best part of it all was I kept trying to stop the sobbing and I kept trying to talk.

What a scary mess of an ugly crying emotional tornado. The poor kid, she was 19 years old, so adorable and innocent looking AND her name means innocent! She’s watching me meltdown like the wicked witch of the west being doused with water. I kept begging myself to walk away and stop talking so I could get my composure but I had no control over any of it. I couldn’t stop sobbing, I couldn’t stop talking, I couldn’t stop any of it. I finally went to the washroom to clean up the evidence of the ugly crazy cry and then I went outside. I went around the corner so if anyone else who came out on their break they wouldn’t see me or talk to me because I knew that I would lose it again.

I’m standing outside and I look up at the sky and there are these clouds. The shape of the clouds? Six elephant heads looking down at me like a cameo you wear on a necklace. Mother elephants. I started to cry softly and said to the Universe, to God, to All That Is, ‘tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do whatever you tell me.’
I felt the message, “Forgive and move into your light.”
You know that voice inside that whispers only once? It was that voice.
I nodded my head.

Apologizing to my innocent co-worker yet again when I went back, she told me a story of her own crazy cry that she had in front of all of her co-workers and a customer. I held my hand up to my mouth, my eyes wide and whispered “No!”
She says, “yeah, we’re women, we cry!” Wise words from the innocent!

As you may have guessed there were elephants in my dreams that night and when I woke the next morning, my morning pages were filled with what it meant to me to step back into my light. And how I need to forgive myself as much as the other people and situations that I need to forgive. I finished the morning pages in time to watch the only morning show that I watched then, Unscripted. It’s an interview show that only shows the person answering the questions. The person on Good Friday was actress, Dee Wallace of Steven Spielberg’s ET movie fame. UnScripted - Dee Wallace

So here I am listening to Dee Wallace reiterating what I just wrote in my morning pages and she gives me a better affirmation, “I want to Feel good,” which became my guiding light from there on. Instead of speaking up in anger to people, I was telling them, “You’re a worth while human being and you deserve honesty. I want to feel good so I cannot have you in my life anymore. “ Imaginez – Vous? As my mother used to say.

I could have used all of the accusations and said screw off but instead I truly felt the gift in forgiving the past and moving on in a way that we could both feel good about. I want to feel good so I won’t be mean to you. And I want to feel good so I’m cutting you free from my life and me free from yours.

Elephants! I could re-hash all the reasons why I’m moving on, but it doesn’t matter, what will make me feel good is moving forward. I wish you the best and I hope that you too can find what makes you feel good. I also bought Dee Wallace’s book Bright Light, simply because I couldn’t’ get my hands on Conscious Creation. Having since read both books, I actually prefer Bright Light.

In July I had the only major angry out burst of the year. In my notes, I call it an Emotional Detox. It was with the person I’d had the acrimonious relationship with for the past few years. In retrospect, I think he needed to see me reach my limit.

Four days later, when we had an opportunity to talk with calmer heads (my calmer head, he never lost it), we had a heart to heart that transformed our relationship. We had a heart to heart where I fully understood what he was going through and my compassion was ignited. We had a heart to heart and everything that went before was forgiven and absolved.

In my personal 8 year, I learned that miracles happen. That I don’t always have to walk away which has been my M.O. throughout my life. That I can feel good and let go of people who I’ve outgrown. And when I’ve tried every angle, I can lose my cool and transform everything.


Be True to Who You Are

The Women I Follow

Your Personal Year

I’ve been chatting with friends lately about knowing your personal year and getting in depth with looking at your patterns in life. I’m completely fascinated with cycles and patterns in life.

I’ve always called my bouts with depression cycles of downtime that are healthy when they are simply a month and problematic when they last over a year. Knowing my personal year and then ultimately looking over years of personal years has helped me to see patterns, cycles and themes in my life.

I’ve been following Christine Delorey’s work since at least 2006. On her websites she provides so much free information like your personal year forecast, plus monthly and weekly ones as well. Check her out, read her work and once you see how accurate her work is, buy her work. That’s how I end up supporting people, by the way. It’s through a person’s free work that ultimately enables me to trust and then happily pay for all that they’ve given. I trust Christine, she has helped me to discover so much.

Truly if you want to gain powerful insights into yourself and your life, run over to her website and find out what your numbers are.

I follow other women: Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone and Guru Rattana’s New Millennium Being. Susan Miller’s monthly forecast is best for me to know specific transits, like the new moon, full moon etc. Guru Rattana helped me to look at the signs we are in, we’re currently in Gemini, and create a focus pertaining to that signs qualities. Plus she got me interested in Kundalini Yoga as a practice that fits more with my personality.

I’ve always believed that yoga had a spiritual focus which included meditation, and chanting as well as the physical aspect. Kundalini Yoga fits with my belief.

Like my relationships, I don’t jump into anything quickly. I’ve read all of the women for years before I purchased their product and when I did, I felt I had no choice because I believed in their work. I purchased Christine’s book Life Cycles several years ago and I continue to purchase it as gifts or at the least recommend it as a “must buy.”

Christine DeLorey's wordpress - Creative Numerology
Christine DeLorey's Creative Numerology.com
Susan Miller's Astrology Zone
Guru Rattana's New Millennium Being