02 September 2013

Scott Sonnon's Being From Prague response

I deleted today the following post to my Timeline:


"Being from Prague, I'm very curious why you post pictures of your self? Do you do it only to take money from people who think you're pretty, because you lack self-esteem and need other people to coddle you with praise, or is it both because all Americans are so vain and capitalistic? Same question for your incessant repetition of your childhood stories; is it because people are stupid enough to buy a book of yours because you had a difficult childhood, or is it because your ego compulsively needs people to tell you how beautiful and wise you have deceived them into thinking you look and sound now? Like you, I'm a member of MENSA so I can see the manipulation you're hypnotizing people with. I'm smart and fit now too, but I don't whine about being made fun of in school for when I was stupid and fat. ~ Fredrick"


After deleting the above from my page, I decided a reply would be helpful, so I offer this story.

Hi Fredrick,

Let me share with you a story from when I was "a child." From forced company of socially estranged misfits, I fell into role playing games, and rapidly became a D&D fanatic. I'd spend hours (if not days) absorbed in the library, doing background research on the history, geography, mythology and ethos of the campaigns, becoming intellectually ravenous for any morsel which would add visual depth to the game.

But I observed a strange phenomenon: regardless of whether my character type had been chosen as a warrior, thief, cleric, assassin, paladin, ranger, or barbarian, the character would inevitably develop the same annoying character traits, fall into the same frustrating predicaments, and be surrounded by the same array of impossible obstacles and obstinate people.

Hopefully, being such a smart person, you have already figured out my discovery. But as a 13 year old boy, imagine my surprise when I had realized that the common denominator among all of these asinine characters was... me. I had been objectively observing a cross-verified sample of my own personality traits. Regardless of skills, environment, background, opportunities and challenges, my most undesirable character traits manifested in the role playing. They were glaring, grating reflections.

At that point, I had a single brilliant thought. Each of us has a few in our lifetime; and this had been one of my most important: if I changed the undesirable traits in myself, then all of my characters would improve in any campaign they underwent. So, I began work on myself:
--> to start being accountable for my own actions rather than blaming others,
--> to stop complaining about what I ought to be entitled to and started to focus on earning my keep,
--> to stop feeling self-righteous about my opinion and started seeking to understand others perspectives,
--> to stop fleeing dire circumstances for my own safety and started standing my ground for a worthy cause even at personal loss.

Astoundingly to me, as I worked on myself, my gaming improved; all of my characters became more successful, admired and fulfilling to play. That's when I stopped gaming. I had extracted its most secret value: the game, for me, was just an opportunity to gaze in my mental mirror. When I saw what my reflection actually looked like, I had learned the solution to my childhood problems: ME! I was the problem AND the solution. If I changed the behaviors and habits which kept me in my abusive, terrifying, destitute circumstances, then my environment would change as well.

And it did, as I did. Now, I still continue to this very day to consider the hologram I'm currently projecting out into the world. What is it that I see in others and of my situations? Do I see ugliness or beauty, apathy or love, hate or compassion, anxiety or impatience, fear or faith, scarcity or abundance; what do I REALLY see, rather than what do I wish I'd see? What I see is not the world, but my perception of it. If my perception is undesirable, it is not the hologram which ought to (or even, can) alter, but the projection camera.

You say you're an intelligent guy being a member of the High IQ Society. Use that big brain of yours to look at that which you are perceiving in others. You may not like the reflection you see, but you will regain power to change your perception. Your world will improve as you do.

Very Respectfully,
Scott Sonnon

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