05 December 2006

At the Channeling Session

It's funny how when you look for it, you can find the connections when different people are gathered. I went to my first ever channeling session last night and I really felt connected to the people there. We were all artists of different disciplines with similar fears. Or one of us exhibited the open comfort that the rest of us were striving for, almost as proof that we could all have that open comfort too. It's nice when that happens. When we're open to delving into the seemingly weird we find so many inspiring things about ourselves and each other.

The three main things I got from this channeling session was to notice our connections, to think about compassionate giving versus obligatory giving (especially during the holiday season where we feel obligated to spend, spend, spend) and an emotional clarity to seek my own self-fulfillment that some of the things that I've been doing have already been in line with that (like my solitary Christmas ritual). The air or better yet energy was such that it bred an openness to express yourself in whatever way that you felt inclined to without judging yourself nor feeling judged by others. How rare is that in our day to day and yet how needed? Walking to the beat of our own drum, being able to be a true individual and okay with being it.

Some of the notes I made from the session include:
- You get to choose how you are affected by others deeds, words and actions.
- It's called self-fulfillment not 'others' fulfillment
- It's about me and how I choose to feel.
- You can create peace from within no matter what.
- What do I want to experience in this moment? How do I want to feel in this moment?
- Compassionate giving versus obligatory giving
- What do I want to give? What feels good for me to give?
- How can I find that place of feeling good?
- What does it look like when I know that I am divine, I am an Angel, I am a part of God
- Feeling fulfilled within myself
- Strengthen your connection through what I think, say and do - shine it forth

My heart gravitated to Jenna who is an actor and with our shared comments about the people that want to keep us from our dreams, make us face some reality about the possibility of failure, I realized where my caretaking needs fit in. I want to help to match artists with a mentor type person that I know will nurture their dreams. Like I did with my friend Goldfish who I set up with my very dear and very talented and very nurturing theatre company owning and directing friend, I mentioned doing the same for Jenna. I love my friend's shows because they exhibit without her saying out loud, her love for theatre and performers. I made no promises as I did with Goldfish. I just said that this is a person whose, at the very least, shows you should attend, I'll introduce you two and you can take it from there or not.
What is failure versus success anyway? For someone who really loves acting, doing community theatre for the rest of their lives can be as big a success as someone who makes millions per film. It's what we want, the truth of who we are, versus what others think we should have in the material realm that proves our worth.

It was a beautiful session. I actually believed that I would dream about my mother last night when I went to bed but instead had a romantic dream about the man who makes me laugh the most and makes me feel alive with our shared chemistry and natural enjoyment of each other.

Before I went home I went to a Christmas party at my old job knowing that this was a sort of good bye. I wasn't even on the list but went in anyway. I chatted with the CEO and had him cracking up because I was talking to him like he was some regular person, not the bigwig that most people treat him like.

I felt like the beacon of love. So many people hugged me and told me that they had to hug me. People that I'd never hugged the whole ten years that I'd worked there hugged me. With one, I jokingly said, "Okay that just plain scared me. That's like the Michael Corleone kiss of death!"
One person apologized for being so mushy, "Are you kidding me?" I asked, "I am the Queen of mushy. You can always do mushy with me."

So that is the culmination of my first channeling session. After I hugged Judith Onley and said my good-byes, I said, "I will definitely do this again." I forgot to say that I was grateful.

If you've never been to a channeling and would like to check one out... Judith Onley and her United Souls of Heaven and Earth can be found at Dance with Spirit
or emailed at judith at dancewithspirit dot com.


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