Tuxedo Cat

Wednesday 2:03am 18June08

Ah! We're a day away from the end of Mercury Retrograde. The last few days have been filled with communications issues galore! At least I know, so it keeps me calm. But some people who don't know seem to suffer from broken record syndrome, going on and on about the same thing. Maybe if I say the same thing again, I'll get different results. Maybe if I say the same thing again, I'll get different results. Maybe if I say the same thing again, I'll get different results. Yeah buddy, good luck with that action!

I had a contractor do just that yesterday at work. I actually started to sing while he was saying the same thing he'd said about 8 times. I told him that it didn't matter how many times he repeated the same old story the answer hadn't changed but to no avail. So there I was resorting to the la la la song that siblings sing to eachother when they get tired of listening. Okay so I didn't sing the la la la song because I had music playing. But I did sing the song that was playing, so it was close. ha ha! Where's my brother when you need him?

I finally had to send an email to the tenant, and the contractor's boss requesting that they kindly explain to contractor dude that in property management there are certain rules about accessing a tenant's space without permission. It has to be a life threatening emergency or something pertaining to damaging the building. I also mentioned that "shooting the messenger" didn't change that fact. Contractor dude came back to my office rather meek and mild but still proceeded to explain his frustration to me one more gain because clearly I have no grasp of the English language and must be told yet again. zzz!

When I rule the world, we'll be able to take off Mercury Retrograde, I'm just saying!




Okay so my friend called Gatsby a tuxedo cat. I thought she just meant that he was high class. It seems that no there is actually a term for the two colored black cat! Who knew!

EY

We are all Teachers

Monday 8:27pmn 16June08

"I love you and I do what I feel is intelligent and kind and it may not match your request, but as a loving human being those are going to be my standards. I'm not going to sell my soul out, my life out, my self love and respect out to please another human being. That makes me a terrible teacher. We're all teachers and we teach through the way that we live. There's no teaching more powerful than that. If I live a lie, I teach a lie. I teach it to others and I teach it to myself. " Byron Katie

I decided to listen to another podcast while I was eating my dinner and taking a break from writing. I chose to listen to an episode of Conversations with Masters who is hosted by Life Coach, Mary Allen. Holy Cow! I think I found something to replace television once and for all! Of course that's because I decided to listen to Byron Katie first.

I've mentioned her once before in a previous post and everytime I read something about her work or listen to her doing her work, my brain clicks right into it and I have these great AHA moments! On the podcast episode which was from 2007 she talks to a woman who is having disagreements with her mother, as daughters will do, and Byron Katie discusses stuff about love. The above quote is part of the discussion.

How many times have we been convinced to do something we don't want to do, in the name of loving someone? How many times have we spoken up and said, "I don't want to do this," and the person understands or doesn't understand and we've chosen what we wanted, not what they wanted? I've done it but only after years of doing what the other person wants. I admit to it, I've been a people pleaser when it comes to people I love. But all I did was teach them how to disregard what I wanted (because if you guilt trip me enough, I'll give in) and push until they got what they wanted. Wow! Did I really type that? It's what fed into my depression so I might as well be honest about it and stare it down. It was the depression that ultimately made me less of a people pleaser with friends, family and ultimately the men that have come into my life and are continuing to come into my life.

Of course I've mentioned it here about a zillion times but spending Christmas on my own was a big challenge of not hurting anyone's feelings but ultimately it became about me being happy. It is a big example for me because it was such a hard road of accepting invitations out of gratitude and loving my friends and yet never being happy on the day. And more recently my best-friend in Montreal mentioned that I'd need to spend another Christmas with he and his family and when I'd explained that I love spending it on my own he said, "But you can't spend EVERY Christmas alone!" Yes! I can! Until I don't want to anymore.

Byron Katie gives this great example about her new husband telling her several years ago that, despite her having three grown kids and grandkids, he had never been around kids and he wasn't particularly interested in going to family reunions. She said she loved him for being honest, loving and kind. He didn't tell her that she couldn't go, he told her that he wasn't interested in going. So she planned reunions without her husband. She enjoyed the time she had to focus more on her children. She didn't focus on her husband who wasn't interested in being there for that event. It was fabulous if he went or fabulous if he didn't go. A few years later he decided that he was ready and told her, "I'd like to go to the family reunion."

Could you imagine? She describes him as, "an honest human being who knows what he wants and has a willingness to change it, but in his own time."

It's like having best girlfriends who meet the big significant other and then insist that the only time you get to spend with them is with the significant other in tow. You don't always want to do that even if you like the guy. But that kind of honesty can often alter a friendship forever but it could be because so many of us have the attitude that love means, "if you love me, you'll do what I want." That's not love.

I can do what you want for a long time, sometimes years, but eventually I will leave you and so abruptly that you can't figure out where the heck that came from. What happened? Where did she go? Where did I go indeed...

I've been trying my darndest to keep myself being myself as I get to know this man that I find attractive. As I may have mentioned before I often turn interests into plain friendships but if the truth be known with this one, I saw him first and continue to see him as a very attractive man. Friendship, Schmenship! Wow! I typed that too! I've become the giddy girl with giddy girl breathless excitement when he comes around. I repeat friendship, schmenship...

I'm happy to say that despite the giddy girl behaviour that I have been myself. I've used swear words in my discussions. I've said my wacky ideas that come to my head. I've complained about things. I've been honest about aspects of my situation/ environment... And attractive giddy girl inducing man will either like me or not and that's fabulous. Because if he decides he's not interested he won't be interested in me, not some girl that I thought he would be attracted to.

And when I see him again each day, as I do, I will keep more of Byron Katie's words in my head:
"We meet someone and then we turn into the person we think they want us to be. We say what we think they want to hear. We do what we think they want us to do. We become puppets, a facade. We become who we think they want us to be and we haven't even included them in it. We haven't asked them is this what you want. We just assume. Eventually when they do care for us or love us, or tell us that they love us, we don't believe them because they love someone that doesn't exist and we know that. Winning someone's love cannot be done. I cannot manipulate you into loving me."

EY

Women On Top Quotes

Sunday 3:08pm 15June08

I've been collecting quotes from the Women on Top show that have inspired me:

Erica Courtney
"The seemingly bad things that happen to us along the way turn out to be the best things that coould have happened." Cary Menard - Erica Courtney's partner.

Betsey Johnson
"Try and find something you like to do and try and have a nice day with it because those days will add up to your life."

Amy Smilovic
"That's something that my dad was so big on growing up was just love what you do no matter what because you'll always be happy and it's so true you, you have to love what you do everyday."

Maureen Kelly
"It's that slow burn when you just feel like you're going to the same thing everyday but you're not happy."

"If you want to do something and it's something you always wanted to do, you should just do it."

"You've got to keep it in perspective. You do have to draw a line and at the end of the day have a great life. If no, what have you accomplished in life if you're just good at your job."

Sarah Brown, beauty director of Vogue said about Maureen Kelly:
"(Maureen said,) ' I can't find it anywhere I'm going to make it.' And she is just the kind of girl who went out and made it. All of us dream but not all of us go out and do what we say we're going to do."

Scott McDonough, Maureen Kelly's husband:
"Success is important but it's not at all costs."

Anne Marie Kelly, Maureen Kelly's mother:
"She just never gave up."

Jaye Hersh
"It's harder than you can ever believe, there are no short cuts, and if you pay attention you can do whatever you want to do."


One of the things I liked hearing about Linda Perry is that she is a self-taught musician. I get people who are self-taught. I get the drive and the passion, etc.
Any how her quotes:

"This isn't the life I was meant to live." She said when she ultimately gave up her addictions and focused her energy.

"My goal is to be the best that I can be and if I can help other people be the best that they can be on my way to this goal then that would be whoa, double whammy, I can get two for the price of one."

Deborah Lippman's stepping stone to singing is being a celebrity manucurist and creating her own line! Talk about taking a detour on the way to your dreams. It's reassuring that it could happen. She became a manucurist by day and lounge singer by night.

She went to New York in her mid 30's as a single woman to further her singing aspirations and fell into becoming the celebrity manucurist with an empire. The things that happen on the way to your dreams. It's such a wonderful reminder when you feel like you are off track that you can be off course for years and years and then be at your destination. I need all the hope I can get.

Her quote from Cher, "You should never do my nails again. Why aren't you singing? What are you afraid of?"

Her friend, Loretta Munoz said to her, "stop talking about it and just do it. I want to hear you sing."

Her mother would always remind her that she was in New York to be a singer, despite all the great things that were happening with her manucurist career (She did George Clooney's nails!). Nice!


EY

Support U - Life Purpose Statement

Sunday 2:02pm 15June08

Today’s podcast (Episode 3) from Dr. Eric Maisel is on Life Purpose Statements
His podcast is Purpose-Centred Life - A Plan for Authentic Living. His podcasts and others can be found at Personal Life Media

I have to admit that he tests my belief in how you can find inspiration and/or something you can use from all angles and beliefs. I cringe everytime he mentions that he is an atheist but in the same breath I hear him offer something meaningful or something I can use and it brings up the question that I heard or read once, "Do you know what kind of person wrote that cook book you use? Does it matter?"

So I have to ask repeatedly, does it matter that he is an atheist? Not really. He offers some thought provoking work. And as always, I take what I can use and leave the rest. But I thought I should mention it in case you decide to check out his podcast and think, "What the heck? The guy's an atheist and you go into all your issues about whatever."

The torrential downpour begins outside and I chuckle at how, if I hadn't made myself sit down and work on my weekly Support U promise to myself that I'd be standing in the middle of the distillery district with my wet clothes clinging to me like band-aids.

Anyhow, Eric Maisel callse them life purpose statements I know them as mission statements. I think they are pretty much the same.

He discusses his 5 steps for a Creative life as:
1 - Decide to matter
2 - you must make meaning
3 - Identify your life purpose and articulate your life purpose statement
4 - Hold the intention to fulfill your life purposes
5 - Passionately act to fulfill your life purposes

For number 3 - identify and articulate your life purpose, he has you ask, What are my life purposes? (know, articulate, memorize, & believe in them). What are your reasons for living? What roles do you intend to play in life? Those roles have to be about the stuff that's big enough to count, like fighting against injustice or eradicating poverty.

Then he gives the 5 components for your life purposes:
1 - Make use of your talents/ gifts/ abilities.
2 - Do so every day
3 - Do so in the service of truth telling and other important values
4 - Get satisfaction out of life
5 - Get satisfaction through love and work

and from all of the above make a Life Purpose Statement.

What I really like the thought of is choosing the roles I intend to play in life. I know most of the people like myself who identify themselves as caretakers often say so grudgingly. I certainly do. It can be exhausting being a caretaker to grown ups but when I take that natural disposition and target it somewhere else like on animals or children it's something that warms my heart. As most people know about me, if I could have an animal sanctuary I would! I'd be way too happy knee deep in animal shit knowing that I saved another animal's life and improved its quality of life. What's a little shit? Or even a lot? ha ha!

Clearly that's something that needs to go in my Life Purpose Statement.

What are my reasons for living? For me responsibility has always been another value that has cropped up. As I mature (will I ever really?) I see that not everything has to be my responsibility nor does what someone else says should be my responsibility. So the question I want to ask is, what will I choose to be responsible for? I neither have the motivation and stamina nor the financial abundance to save the world but to be responsible for my little patch of the earth. That's an idea I can work with. Because, of course, if we all took care of our little patch of the earth, giving, sharing, loving (and those who can go further than that actually do) -- we could heal the world in a day.

EY

Support U - Unlimited Thinking

Sunday 12:42pm 15June08

"Unlimited thinking lets you experience in advance the feelings you will have when you have received the abundance you want, and these feelings are the vehicle that brings abundance to you." Pg 8. Creating Money (Keys to Abundance) by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer.

That quote made me think about being a child and looking through the toy section of the catalogue for Eaton's. All those little dreams my brother and I had for Christmas and Birthday presents. Those dreams of having roomfuls of toys. Those dreams of having everything we always wanted. It never quite happened that way, not even close but boy, were we ever thrilled when we got one of the toys we'd been dreaming about for weeks on end. Children are well-versed at abundant thinking. It's as natural as breathing. Somehow with the disappointments in growing up and others constantly telling us why we can't always have what we want, we stop the daydreaming and fantasizing and turn to worrying instead. Someone said that, "Worrying is negative creating."

I like thinking of worrying that way because it helps me to stop worrying about every little thing. Aside from worrying being a habit, I find I've used it as a reverse psychology thing. That silent agreement that maybe if I worry enough then I'll get the good things I want by default. You know, the cosmos or God or whatever energy is out there will help me anyway. And I have received many good things that way but it's certainly a stressful way to go about it. I'd much rather believe in a supportive universe. I sleep better that way.

I like the thought of tapping into my childlike belief in possibilities, that if you want it and focus on it, you're going to get it.
It certainly doesn't add any extra stress in my world and it gives me something to smile about.

"Live out your dreams in your mind; picture or feel yourself getting what you want; hear the words you will say to others and they to you when your dreams come true. Make your imaginings so real that they feel possible to create rather than like wishful and distant fantasies. Allow yourself to create a vision, to daydream and fantasize, and then focus each day on the simple, concrete steps you can take to reach your goal. There will always be practical steps you can take immediately to get there. " Pg 11. Creating Money (Keys to Abundance) by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer.

EY

Til Debt Do Us Part

I forget to give links to my new money guru! The thought occurred to me as I sat on my mat to do my morning practice. And I remembered once I was done!

Her name is Gail Vaz Oxlade

and she has a blog... Gail’s Blog

hmm, and I've started using the money jars which are calculated once you fill out Gail's Interactive Budget Worksheet

EY

p.s. have you noticed I've actually been putting the links within my posts? That's one step for blogkind and one leap for Shelleykind! ha ha. In otherwords, I'm a little less lazy!
Woo hoo!

Support U - Meaning Investments

Tuesday 5:06am 10June08

"How do we determine what constitutes the right use of our time, mind and inner resources?" Eric Maisel

Today's Purpose Centred Life podcast was about Meaning Investments. Gosh I'm a woman that likes a good title! I like the thought of Meaning investments. Where do I want to make my meaning investments?

I certainly don't want to make it with watching too much television. My friend Lolo noticed since coming back from South Korea that she was watching television almost in a viewing frenzy. She couldn't figure out, at first, why she couldn't get away from the television. Until it dawned on her that when one show ends the next show begins without any commercials in between. "What happened to the commercials in between each show?" It's like we've been set up to continue to watch and not be able to walk away once we've watched the show we wanted to watch. You catch the teaser for the next show and get hooked in so much that you have to see what's going to happen. "I kept telling myself that I'd watch this one show and then the next show would start and I had to watch that show too!" She told me.

I got into this whole conspiracy theory with her about how we're suckered into doing things that we don't necessarily want to do but we can't seem to stop ourselves because the messages are so in our faces. Watch one show and waste the day watching a bunch of other shows you didn't mean to watch. Buy all these objects because they will make us feel better, look better, give us some imaginary acceptance. Get a mortgage on some overly big house to show that we are successes. Buy the latest clothes and be like the celebrities, never be caught dead in the same outfit twice. Oh and diet! Starve yourself, fast, do whatever it takes to be super skinny no matter the cost. We all know that we need to eat and exercise to get in shape but haven't you at one time considered not eating or eating just a little to get the results quicker? Thankfully I love food too much to get on that merry go round.

I've been catching the show Til Debt Do Us Part, since it comes on after Women on Top. (Catching this show I didn't plan on watching, isn't lost on me!) It's scary the debt people are in and the houses and cars and cottages they have that they can't afford to have. It really gives me a perspective on why I buy things and what I need and don't need. The thing that amazes most of the people that are helped on the show is their mindless purchasing. It also makes me think about mine as well.

Where do I want to make my meaning investments? It's a question I need to ask myself daily for awhile and link it to a supportive universe. I've been having a hard time getting up in the morning and then I'm rushing to get everything done including a good Kundalini Yoga practice. I find I'm going to work a little mad at myself because just as I'm getting deep into the practice, I've got to get up and get going. It was bugging me so much that I decided that I would add doing it at night before going to bed, something I hadn't added yet because I was too caught up in doing time wasting stuff rather than the stuff that has meaning to me. What a difference it has made. I do the stretches, a set and a chant and conk out almost immediately. I sleep right through the night without interruption (other than Gatsby deciding that 2am is give sleeping person affection time) and I'm ready to get out of bed at 4am without pressing the snooze button until 6:30am.

It's a small step to making change in my life and identifying and subsequently investing in what means something to me... Meaning investments.

EY

Living By Kaizen

Sunday 8Jun08 3:02pm

An article that I was going to post on my writing blog that also applies here. The full article by Jennifer Lawler is on her webpage. Her article is called Seeking Perfectioin: What it is...and isn't but I have a soft spot for Living by Kaizen, since I don't do any martial arts, I like the thought of applying the concept to life as a whole.

My favorite quotes from Jennifer's article are:

... in the martial arts, you train because you are a warrior. That’s what warriors do. And they do it because they’re warriors. That’s the only reason they have to have.

The idea of training just to train, of doing something for its own sake, is called kaizen in Japanese martial arts. It’s related to – although independent of – the concept of bushido, which is the ideal of the warrior, the way the warrior lives. Making kaizen and bushido a part of my life has been an ongoing experiment – and experience. Like most of us, I constantly struggle to balance all the demands on my time and the expectations – spoken and unspoken – that people (including me) have for me. But I am aided by my belief that the way of mastery will guide me in the direction I need to go, and I never stray from the path for very long or very far.

...living by kaizen creates a life filled with pleasure, validation that comes from within (and doesn’t depend on outside sources subject to whims), a life that feels more fulfilling and rewarding.

Moving towards perfection means deciding to care for your body as well as you can today, and then tomorrow and then the next day. It is about the process, not the end result. Each day, the attempt should feel good. You got enough rest for once; you meditated after work and that helped you feel relaxed; you had fresh-squeezed orange juice for breakfast and that felt nourishing. You’re taking care of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you ever fit into that size four. That is not the point.

Moving towards perfection requires

Focusing
Living mindfully
Slowing down

Support U - Women On Top

Sunday 8June08 1:16pm

My new favorite show is, Women on Top.
I caught one episode purely by accident, as is my norm. It's a half hour show that comes on Monday to Friday at 7am and gives a quick and dirty biography of a successful woman.

Most recently I watched the episode on Jeannette Walls (Interview w/ typos) , a gossip columnist whose parents were basically homeless her entire childhood. She pulls herself up for success but lives in constant paranoia that if everyone finds out about her she'll be ruined. It's funny how when we come from certain situations that we automatically feel that if others knew about us they'd abandon us.

My favorite nugget so far came from April Barton, hairstylist extraordinaire. She said, "the Universe was always siding with me and giving me perks to make it through." Her back story was of a gambling dad who married her very rich mother and lost all their money. He then ran off kidnapping April who didn't see her mother from the time she was 8 years old until she was 15 years old.

The Universe was always siding with me and giving me perks to make it through.

And it's true. For the longest time looking back on my childhood that quote rang true for me. Even though I didn't have that specific wording.

With all the violence, chaos and turmoil, there was always an adult who took me under his or her wing and spent quality time with me. A friend of my mother, Giselle, who would take me out for lunch at a restaurant in the Alexis Nihon Plaza in downtown Montreal. Real meals like chicken and ribs, not the shitty fast food 'meals'. I would talk about things that interested me and she would smile and listen, never once telling me that I shouldn't dream this or want that.

Another female friend who got me to come out of my shell and voice what upset me within my family home, the unfair treatment of me, She told me regularly that I was her favorite of the girls (me and my stepsisters). I needed to be some body's favorite because I felt like I was in the way.

The man who I was raised to call Uncle Milton, who would come into my bedroom at night and sit on the edge of my bed and tell me/ remind me that I didn't have to live the kind of life that my mother was living. I didn't have to attaract a man who beat me. This was usually while my step father was in the living room yelling at my mother and telling her why she was worthless. Milton who would start to cry when ever I got mad at him during my teenage years. Milton who smiled at me with awe when I started to fight my step father. Because he knew and I knew that part of the reason why I started to stand up for myself was because of those late nights that he told me that I didn't have to and wasn't going to be that abused woman.

Imagine a man going into a 10 year old girls bedroom at night. The first thought is sexual abuse. Isn't that so sad? Today he could never do that and it was part of what saved me.

There are other adults who saved me. Adults who told me in words and actions that I was a valuable worthwhile little girl who they'd happily have as their own daughter. Did I mention that none of them had children? They were adults who recognized that the light was going out in my eyes and they kept the tiny flame glowing.

That whole supportive universe thing keeps popping up for me. It seems to be the big message for me lately. When I take a moment to slow down even for a half second I can find a message to remind me that I'm meant to be here just as much as anyone else. I'm entitled to the space that I take up on earth just like that rich guy or that beautiful woman or my boss or my friends.

There are things in life that will beat me down and there are messages from the Universe to remind me to stand up straight. That's what April Barton's quote means to me.

EY

Another quote from April Barton, "Be who you are when you need to be, not when the public says it's okay."

Support U - Making Meaning

Sunday 8June08 12:45pm

The nugget today comes from Dr. Eric Maisel.
His podcast is Purpose-Centred Life - A Plan for Authentic Living. His podcasts and others can be found at Personal Life Media.


It's funny that it's so in keeping with Gemini energy and the mind. Everything comes back to our thoughts and how we choose to think about life/ situations and the meanings we decide to have about life/situations. I notice that the main words are about choice and deciding. It's always a challenge because information is being thrown at us from every angle. I think I've hit a level of negative information overload personally. I recognize that I need to balance the negative information with positive information.

I go to work and my single co-worker is always ready with a negative perspective on the most innocent conversation. Talk about fruit and he'll bring up some study that tells you if you eat too much fruit you're going to die. We're all going to die! Turn on the television and can you find more shows that are about crimes? I realize that I need to do a crime show fast. No more crime shows. It gets to the point where I either worry that some crime will be committed against me or maybe I should just stay in my house all the time. We all have that chance that a crime could be committed against us and we all have that chance that it won't. We have a 50/50 chance about anything that life has to offer. Why attract the worst side of the 50/50 chance with our negative thoughts?

I want to commit to taking responsibility for the life I've been given. I want to be more open to confiding in the people who care about me. Filling my mind with inspiration and believing that I can have what I want. I'm well-versed at getting what I don't want.

It brings me back to a previous post that we live in a supportive universe. It supports the thoughts and beliefs we have with physical representations of them. And it could be another meaning for Support U... Supportive Universe.


EY

Support U

Sunday 8June08 12:05pm

In my reading of others blogs and emails and the like I came across The Happiness Project. Gretchen (pretty lady) has spent a year (probably more by now) test driving every tip, principle, theory, and scientific study pertaining to happiness. What a cool idea and not all that far from my idea that I've had for several years to read as many personal development books and listen to tapes/CD's and now podcasts and watch positive television shows. I've done it haphazardly. But to commit to it? Not quite.

The main reason I got that idea was the realization that I have to do daily work in order to sabotage depression. The daily work is like taking the anti-depressant medication without the side effects. I hear they can be brutal.

It's the habit. We all find success by doing the work daily. Everything is daily.

Support U is the title I came up with for my personal project. I like the double meaning. Imagine if there were a university program that was all about supporting yourself... that would be Support U.

I'm not sure what kind of commitment I should offer as far as blogging is concerned. Probably the best for me is to commit to once a month and any other entries will be bonus entries. Because I'll probably post entries frequently but the project is really for myself so any entries that are too personal to post, I won't be posting. You never know how many of those there will be in a row. I do have my moments.

I'll offer links to any and everything I find on the net. And I'd like to cover a book from beginning to end throwing down some sweet nuggets that I find in it. Of course I say that now and tomorrow (hmm no June 30th - no more Mercury Retrograde) I will meet and fall in love with the man of my dreams, win the lottery (about $19million dollars), and move out of the Country.
tee hee hee!

So that's my personal project and I'll let you know what's going on, if you're still reading. And if you find anything of interest, that falls in line, comment on the blog for all the other three readers.

And just in case you don't bother to look at her website/blog, although, why wouldn't you? Here's the JK Rowling link to the commencement speech she gave at Harvard about failure. Very cool!

EY

A Month? Gemini and June Energies

Sunday 8June08 11:03am
Wow it's been a month since I've been here last! No excuses. It's been 50% of good and 50% of a pain in the ass. Isn't that always the way? I've had big bouts of laziness and the odd spurts of motivation and I'm always challenged with finding my way through it all.

I've spent most of my time focused on my little kitten Gatsby, the pisces heartbreaker. He keeps me amused and gives me a loving, grateful focus which if you know anything about me, you know it's needed. What seemed like a crazy idea to most, adding a 4th cat to the fold, was a stroke of genius. Watching a kitten discover his surroundings and get excited over a crumpled piece of paper and other silliness reminds me to attempt to do the same thing in my life. Life is supposed to be an adventure, right?

Gemini is all about the mind. Has your mind been going a mile a minute? My mind has been all over the place but the thrilling thing is that I've had that Gemini level of detachment so the little annoyances haven't been quite as all consuming as they can be. Praise God! We're in the middle of office renovations at work during a Mercury Retrograde. Can you spell laughter?

I have to laugh because I'd lose my mind. Nothing is quite like the shop drawings that I had a hand in approving. The workers come in during the day and cause much disruption. Jackhammers are dead to me! I've breathed in more dust than any one person should ever inhale. I've gone home with headaches and sore shoulders from the tension. I can't open my desk drawers and sit at my desk at the same time. And what was going to be about a week of renovations has now gone into week three. We have a private pool betting on which month it will be complete and how many difficiencies will still be hanging over our heads. As much as possible I remain detached.

In keeping with the communication issues of Merc, people have been coming to me asking for help and when I try to give my help they proceed to interrupt me to tell me how much they know in keeping with the help they've requested. Oh, so you know how to do this then, you don't need my help? If it's my area of expertise and you call me for help, why must you insist that you actually know more than I do? I didn't call you. *sigh* Remain detached!

So I write notes in my handbook. I write about the peculiarities of others. I write descriptions for possible characters because we all know these kinds of people and sometimes (very rarely though, right?) we are those people ourselves. I feel like I'm making productive use of what could drive me crazy if I thought about it too much.

And back to Gemini, not that I left it. It took me forever to get the summary of all the previous New Millenium Being newsletters sorted through. Ahh in a year I'll have one done for each sign so next year I'll be more timely! The main points offered from Guru Rattana over the years have been to:
- Maintain a neutral mind,
- tune into your breath by slowing it down and breathing deeply,
- alternate nostril breathing
- train ourselves to listen - first to ourselves and then to others,
And in her most current newsletter she recommends for June:
1 - to not take yourself or every minute detail in life so seriously
2 - to make it your priority to uplift others and spread joy
3 - to make people and yourself laugh
4 - to change negative conversations into heart-felt connection
5 - to perfect our sense of humor.

Hmm! And Mecury is retrograde until June 19th, which means the direct energies don't really take effect until around the 24th or 25th. I'm giving it to the 26th to be on the safe side. ha ha!

I realized the other day that I got my cat Zoe, who died in November, during a Mercury Retrograde. Every thing that I was told about her turned out to be not what I'd expected. The ironic thing was that I had second thoughts about taking her because it was Mercury Retrograde but I'd talked myself out of the Second thoughts saying, "what could go wrong it's just a cat?" What could go wrong indeed. Sometimes I feel like a wacko when i discuss Mercury Retrograde except luckily I have enough friends who also believe in the strange energy to make me feel less wack-otic (my new word!) So I say believe it or don't believe it but keep a watchful eye out, regardless.

JUNE ENERGIES
Rev. Sheri Kozdron whose podcast Angel moments by Angel Messenger I listen to gave me some keywords/thoughts for June.
Gemini - information, reclaiming our mind, how our thoughts affect us.
Focus on love, generousity, peace and forgiveness
Sagittarius Full Moon - Our search for meaning.

And here are some links to the people I've mentioned:

New Millenium Being Archives Scroll down to the archives. Subscibe to the list, it's worth it! Guru Rattana gives so much free information that you can spend years reading it all, which I have. It's what finally got me into Kundalini Yoga. I'm proud to say that I have finally bought 4 of her books.

Angel Messenger Rev Sheri Kozdron has both a podcast and a blog.

Starchild also offers energies to focus on, use, notice for each month.

EY

Taurus Energy

4May08 Sunday 4:38pm

I'm trying to read through all the New Millenium Beings written for Taurus but am finding that there is so much in all of them that the summary I could write wouldn't be a summary after all. I laugh, as I did in Aquarius, that the issues I've been blogging about fall into Taurus territory. My whole piece on expecations...

Anyway, here are some notes gleaned from a few of the previous New Millenium Being newsletters written by Guru Rattana over the years.

From NMB #16 2000
I liked her three phases of Taurus the bull:
The Sleeping Bull
The basic lesson to be learned is to shift from a dependency on external values to a reliance on inner ones. Look at what you value most, how it impacts your life and how changes in your value structure will help you to achieve what you really want.

The Awakening Bull
dig deep to access hidden resources in your own psyche. Examine personal values and align them with your inner core and eliminate those that are a by product of social conditioning and poor parenting. Learn not to depend on the material world for your inner security. Free yourself of the bondage and insecurities caused by physical attachments whether they be money, possessions, situations or relationships.
Find more rewarding and less destructive ways to nurture yourself and express yourself freely. Learn how to reconcile, connect and align your inner and outer worlds.

My entries about Shiastu and Kundalini Yoga, getting into the body instead of just being in the mind fall in line with Guru Rattana's comments that "the body must be honoured and used as a vehicle for the higher expression of the soul. Your physical body must be cared for to facilitate the masterful use by the mind and emotions to serve your inner purpose."

The Awakened Bull
The touchestones might be, "I want what I have." "I have myself." 'I desire the light."
It is the way of artful, spiritual living. Your spiritual presence inspires, your expression of Divine Will leads. Your artistic expression of life frees, uplifts and transforms everyone and everything you come in contact with.

In NMB 17
she writes about Taurus issues which include the desire for comfort, security and pleasure. Basic questions involving choices of how to use our time, money and energy. We ask ourselves questions related to Values, Security and Foundations. What do we truly value? What will give us real security? What are our foundations and are they built on values that give us real security?

Taurus energy teaches about magetism. What we attract depends upon what we believe we deserve and how much we value ourselves. Taurus teaches us that we must find out what we value and protect ourselves from being influenced by external disapproval of our personal value system. Our ultimate security is built upon self-acceptance and self-love.

How do we tune into Taurus energy? Taurus makes us slow down. Taurus energy also grounds us and helps us be very present in our bodies and aware of the sensations in our bodies.

Taurus main attributes or words that describe: stable, loyal, patient, sensual, indulgent, stubborn, resistant, immovable, lazy, slow and attuned to the natural world. Our goal is to allow ourselves to experience these energies and then to work with them and allow them to nurture, sustain and teach us.

Taurus teaches us that one of the highest forms of healing is available through self-love.

NMB 33 is so packed with information that I can't even quote from it.

NMB #87
How we value ourselves determines how we spend our time and money.
In Aries we defined our self. In Taurus we plant our garden. We figure out how to support who we are, how we get what we want, and how to survive and meet our basic needs.
The first steps in self discovery are coached by Aries. Our Taurus coach introduces us to things, possessions, resources and value (both personal and material.)

Value - we discover what we value - what makes us comfortable, what things give us pleasure, what physical situations we feel are necessary for our security. We learn about what we have to Do to get what we want. We learn about the practical economices of life and that we have to make and have money to buy possessions and services. What we also learn is that the value we place on ourselves is a determining factor in our ability to manifest both the necessities and foodies of life.

The sooner we link the two together, the more we can manifest and enjoy what we acquire:
1) the things that money can buy and how to generate enough money to purchase them
2) What money can't buy - our personal values, our self-worth and our unique talents.

If we are too fixate on the status quo and too influenced by our society and family patterns, we may fall into the rut of following a pathe that our parents deem appropriate for us and live by externally defined values that don't reflect what really makes us happy.

And because there is so much on Taurus I skip to her most latest NMB #147
You can always subscribe for the actual newsletters that are always filled with lots of info

Taurus and Scorpio (The full moon is always in the opposite sign which means that the opposite signs issues come up during the Sun signs stay). Taurus and Scorpio work together to help us understand what we want and what we have to do (or not do) to get it. We need to commit to changing what needs to be transformed. We can figure this out by reviewing our values, identifying our deepest desires and defining our highest priorities.

Taurus
- willing to work to achieve and maintain a secure, stable, material lifestyle.
- seeks to enjoy the peace of mind and the emotional serenity that material security and physical pleasures afford.
- needs to figure out how spiritual laws apply to the physical world and to learn how to function effectively in the physical world.
- involves learning about the laws of manifestation and the laws of attraction

The Taurus path requires:
1 - being grounded in the body
2 - operating effectively in the physical world
3 - being able to manifest and manage the resources to take care of ourselves
4 - experiencing spirit in our daliy lives
5 - attuning to and appreciating the beauty and sacredness of nature

Taurus needs to learn
1- to enjoy, not just be obsessed with the money game
2 - to establish a secure financial base and use it to take care of ourselves
3 - to overcome worries of not having enough
4 - to let go of anxiety about loss
5 - to enjoy and appreciate the wealth that it has

Taurus must build and be involved in some creative project to feel satisfied. Inner peace is elusive if we are not working with our favorite tools and producing something - music, arts, crafts, physical structures, or financial, construction or spiritual projects.

We follow our destiny path when we are engaged in divinely inspired creative endeavors. We can attain a level of contentment once our creative urge is appropriately focused and one pointed.

The Bull teaches us that right livelihood and work is a creative act, not punishment.

Trust

Sunday 1:28pm 4May08

Yeah so I deleted what I originally wrote here cuz I now want it to be private!

EY

nb: I forgot to mention in my Gatsby post that I'd also been working on going through my clutter again. I found a piece of paper that said, "be the kind of person you want to attract." As I walked out from having filled in the application for adoption and asked myself how crazy I was for considering the adoption, I answered , "If you want love, give love."

The Great Gatsby

Sunday 12:51pm 4May08

After my prisoner of expectations moment this week, I walked home Thursday after work and decided to go into the vet to see the kitten in the window. Sometimes a cat lover needs to tease herself. Can you feel it coming? ha ha!

The workers were all very friendly, got me behind closed doors to see the kitten and informed me that she wasn't the only kitten they had. Kitten in the window is a black kitten with white feet. The other two kittens, also girls, were all black. I was phewing all over the place because, if the truth be known, I want a boy cat. I already have three girls. Isaac says, "we have one more kitten. We keep HIM separated because he has the sniffles and is on antibiotics." Jessica returns with Isaac to tell me that itsy bitsy boy had rough beginnings and almost died twice but he's doing fine and he purrs the moment you touch him and he's really affectionate and we all just love him! He is 10 weeks old and is the size of a 3 or 4 week kitten. He's got the big forehead and expressive eyes much like Yoda, what all the staff have been calling him. Yoda is the spitting image of kitten in the window.

I say, "I'm all about rough beginnings!"
Jessica says, "Then he's your guy!"
Yes. I inherited my mother's love of the runt of the litter. I like to fill a need when there is a problem. My heart opens wide when someone is in crisis. But that is the height of being human isn't it? When that news story hits of major misfortune whether it's September 11th or Hurricane Katrina, or an innocent bystander walking down the street and accidentally being shot and killed and leaving his child fatherless. Or that little girl abandoned in the stairwell during the winter of which many famillies wanted to adopt. Heck, I wanted to adopt her. With the worst stories we all really step up to the plate to help out in what ever way we can.

So yes, what I'm saying is I've adopted itsy bitsy male kitten. He almost died twice and he wheezes when he breathes and he's the size of one of my hands and he's still on antibiotics (supplied for free from the vet). And since he's such a little guy with poor beginnings I name him Gatsby, after F. Scott Fitzgerald's character and the name goes nicely with Zelda, my two year old, named after F. Scott's wife. The big cats are all pretty bitter as what happens in the beginning. Zelda is too busy running away scared to really check the mini man out. Picasso and Quincy spit at him and spit at eachother and spit at a fluff of dust. But they're not giving up their positions on the bed although they give me dirty looks when I bring Gatsby up to cuddle.

When I went to pick him up yesterday, just about every staff member came out to check me out and say good bye to their favorite rescue and beg me to bring him in for a visit. Last night I chose a birthdate for him, counting back ten weeks from the day I met him since they weren't sure of his actual birthdate. Although I will ask again just to be sure. Ten weeks ago was still in Pisces and around my birthday. haha. So his chosen by me birthdate is Feb 28th. And he's a leap year baby like me.

What is more exciting than watching a baby something? What is better than to nurture and love?

EY

Prisoner of Expectations

Thursday 1May08

Prisoner of Expectations
Through the silence I find one of my big issues pop up. Sometimes I find I’m upset or mad about stuff and I can’t articulate what the main issue is. Currently it’s the business culture of recognizing some people with awards for service and continually bypassing others. The different rules for different people syndrome! I know it all too well. I lived it in my childhood home first and am still regularly faced with it.

Back in 2000 or 2001 when I was going through similar changes but worse, I went to see a movie Café Ole with my girlfriend Tricia. It’s a cute little Montreal film about a guy that does for everyone else and somehow his life is passing him by while everyone depends on him and takes him for granted. Towards the end of the movie when he makes a drastic change he says a line that spoke to my life and made me cry. Tricia and I left the movie theatre and I was still crying. We walked through the Manulife Centre and I was still crying. As we were about to leave, she looked at me and asked, “Are you okay?” and I said, “I can’t get it together, that line is playing in my head. It’s me” and we stood outside the hair salon that I’d worked at earlier that year as I sobbed in Tricia’s arms. It was pretty big!

Here I am, present day, faced with the recognition issue. I study the times I’ve been taken for granted or not acknowledged for who I am. I don’t do anything for recognition but when others are recognized for less than what I’ve done as part of who I am the red flag comes up in my mind and I think, “Humph! I’ve been doing that and more forever and not a soul has mentioned anything.” Interesting!

As a Pisces, just about anything you read says that they are always last and are used to it. They walk through life not being recognized. Blah, blah, blah. But seriously, is it because I’m a freakin’ Pisces? And of all the things that are Pisces, why does that have to be the thing that is true? These days I see the lack of recognition, the high expectations and the general taking for granted of, as a message from the Universe not to feel guilty about moving on and following my inner voice and what dreams she concocts.

I’ve come a long way since that day I cried in Tricia’s arms and it’s been a long road, with dropping friends and changing jobs and sometimes yelling or slamming doors or fire bombing an incendiary email as a last resort. But it bowls me over when it creeps back in.

It’s the reason why we rebel against our parents. We’re trying so hard to identify ourselves and to be identified as who we are separate from who they want us to be for their own comfort level. I never really rebelled against my mother while she was alive. Not on this issue anyway. I was always the daughter I was expected to be. I’ve always been the employee, the friend, the lover I am expected to be. I am dependable and available and cheerful to do it and I don’t ask for much other than peace. But where are the people who are grateful for people like me? People who can express their gratitude? People like me are so easy to take for granted.

At the arts organization I worked at for 10 years, my boss scheduled me for the shitty shifts and worse, with people she knew I couldn’t stand on a regular basis. If it was a festival, all the lazy asses would be scheduled with their buds and I’d be stuck with shady character like clock work. Lazy asses would ask, “Are you being punished?” It made me wonder. When I discussed it, I was either told that she depended on me or (the slap in the face) I can’t schedule every body only with people they like. Hmm, but you depend on me, isn’t there some reward in that? Even with friends in the past (people I’ve since dropped or limited my contact), there were the constant stupid situations I’d be put into. And it’s not like I never speak up for myself.

When I finally reach my limit because surprisingly, to every one who watches it happen, I do have a limit, although it can take years, the culprits get uncomfortable. Or come up with lame ass excuses. Most recently I was told that I had all these walls so built up that this specific person felt that he didn’t have to worry about me (that was when I was in pain for three months and I’d asked, what kind of friend doesn’t call or email even once). I was told a few years back that the reason why I didn’t want to be included in invitations that included these two women that I didn’t like (and said I didn’t like the first time I met both of them) was that I was intimidated by strong women. Those two examples still irk me. And at work, past and present, well there’s a whole whack of examples of interesting reasons that are never quite based in reality. *sigh*

There is always that air that something is wrong with me for wanting to break out of the mold that makes everyone else comfortable but leaves me feeling unfulfilled. That level of invisibility, not being heard, not being recognized, being taken for granted, who wants to be constantly jiggling in that Jello mold? It’s always a shock when I make that large sweeping decision merely because people haven’t heard a fucking thing I said. I say it in a nice voice first because I genuinely like those people. Then I say it in a loud voice because I’m nearing the end and this is my final warning. And then I leave and their so damn surprised.

Why do I attract so many people who need so much attention that they can’t hear anything but the sound of their own voices? I believe that I live in a supportive universe and obviously the way I’m dealing with this issue isn’t working. I need to work on my thoughts, my energy and my actions. That’s what I contend with. That’s what clanked around my brain at 1am when all of a sudden, I was awake with no signs of falling back to sleep. I sat on my bed with my journal and started to write. I turned on the television to CBC and lo and behold, Café Ole was on. The supportive universe poking me to see if I remembered that there was a line in the movie that was so apt back in 2000 or 2001 and it was going to be again if I was going to wait to hear it.

The character writes it in a letter to the lady he’d been playing the piano for on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays for $5 each session. I’d forgotten that she had said a part of it first, which was what propelled him. And instead of Malcolm Kaye, the character playing piano, the lady now has Sal there (a character who Malcolm also helped). Because when we leave, people always find someone else to take our place, and I need to remember that. She asks Sal to read the letter again and in it Malcolm writes, “I am not going to be there to play the piano for you anymore because I am tired of being a prisoner of expectations.” And she smiles because she was a prisoner of expectations and missed out on what could have been her one true love.

And when I heard it I didn’t cry this time but I nodded my head. Yep, I’ve changed some but I still have some work to do. And because I know the universe is supportive, I just need to get my thoughts and actions and energy in line and constantly ask myself, what do I want? If I believe that I am taken for granted, I will constantly be faced with opportunities where I am taken for granted. And people are so seductive in their guilt trippy I depend on you speeches but when I leave they always find a replacement. It’s worth repeating.

It was only supposed to be for a short time, in my childhood home, when all this began. It was so the step sisters would be comfortable and would know that they were welcome. Somehow there was always an excuse to maintain the status quo. And I never rebelled as all of us must, at some point, in order to grow up.

So I step into this full-fledged realization with a little bit of rebellion and an awareness that I need to do what’s good for me (which I’ve gotten better at). That there will always be an excuse, a justification to keep me a prisoner and I just don’t look good in prison stripes.

EY

Quiet Time

Wednesday 5:34am 30Apr08
It's hard to take quiet time for myself. I always think that there is something better that I should be doing, like writing or cleaning the apartment or having more of a social life or something, anything. But as I move into the second or third week of this I'm seeing the definite benefits.

I'm finding a peace within that I don't think I've ever had before. Heck, I know I never had it. The biggest change I notice is that when I get ticked off I don't seem to hold on to it for hours on end. I have my moment and then move on just as quickly. I've started this growl that makes my co worker laugh to no end. Whenever I get on a good rant and catch myself doing it, I stop the rant and growl like a dog. Ado and I have named it doing the growl since he too has started doing the same thing when he gets into a particularly strong rant. Apparently he's got his wife doing it too now. Too cute!

But back to the anger. I used to set myself up with getting pissed off about something and thinking or naming it as a bad day. "Oh this is going to be a GREAT day!" I'd say, with that attitude. Now I recognize that it isn't the day, it's just a moment and they all pass. Call it and move on. Talk show host, one of the guys I work with, likes to push people's buttons to the extent where they get so worked up they can't let go. He used to pull that shit on me and although I'm happy to say that it's been about a year since I cured that, I still get to watch him do that with the others. But my major amusement with him is when he tries to check and see if he can catch me with it and I show him once again that no, I'm cured!

With my biweekly Shiastsu treatments I keep listening to what my aching body is telling me. I can't keep going the way I was going without being in constant pain. My body keeps telling me that even though I feel young at heart my age is creeping up there and I just can't sit for 12 hours at a time without a break, working myself to the max. I've got to get wiser with how I focus my energies. If I hold my stubbornness in my neck then what the heck else do I hold in my body? Where do I hold my anger and frustrations? I read somewhere that arthritis is frustration. Don't know if it's true but it's definitely something to think about.

The last several years with the changes I've made about the type of people I allow into my life, I realize that I was teaching myself to say no. Ah the lovely word NO! So many women don't know how to say no. I've learned how to say no to those guilt trippy requests that people will put on you. I've learned how to say no to people who want to monopolize my attention but don't want to reciprocate with the listening part. I've learned how to say no to all sorts of stuff and yes to my sanity. It's amazing that there is still something else to work on. But with the creeping age, I'm getting more comfortable with that too. As long as we're alive, there's something to work on and it's good to be alive, right?

I've been listening to Cheryl Richardson's, "Create an Abundant Life" CD from my Simply Audio Book monthly rental. One of the things she says is, "A high quality life has a lot more to do with what you remove from your life than what you add to it."

Hmm, somehow it motivated me to go through my kitchen and purge the clutter. Why does one person need 50 coffee mugs? Yikes! It's not like I'll ever have 49 guests. If leaving the country is a possibility for me, I need to get rid of a lot of stuff. But in the meantime, if I want to make room for the good that life has to offer, it's time to get rid of all the stuff that I've been holding on to that I haven't touched in years and takes up a whole lot of space. Boy oh boy, those bags of garbage and recycling and stuff left for others to pick through added some serious breathing space in my kitchen. I've got more to do in the rest of the apartment and I'm actually looking forward to it. For the first time in at least a couple years, I can see the surface of my kitchen table. Not that I ever eat in the kitchen but I could now. What a concept.

It's funny how having a lot of stuff always seemed like such a great thing and now I'm getting how it's just bogging me down. Once I get through all the papers and things I figure I'll have the guts to go through my massive collection of books and let go of the ones I know I'll never read again. And at the very least, reorganize them. One step away from a life of pack rat insanity.

EY

Sprinkling of Inspiration

Tuesday 6:30am 29Apr08

Another month comes to an end and with each day I find a little inspiration sprinkling into my existence.
I'm constantly thinking about my next move, what is it going to be? I'm keeping some of my crazy ideas to myself because as often is the case, when I say what's on my mind, I get a lot of reasons why something can't work out by the naysayers. I get it though. I remember when Lolo decided that she was going to go to Korea to teach. My initial feelings were, shit what am I going to do without her? But what I said to her instead was, You loved teaching in Japan. This may be your calling. I realize when someone makes a big decision for their life that the last thing they need is my fears or my selfishness playing into their decisions. They carry enough fears of their own.

Sometimes people are just brainstorming ideas, which is what I'm currently doing. Sometimes people aren't going to follow through. And sometimes people are ready for a big change. We can't let the thought of our loss play into someone else's decision making. I'm just saying. It's been a year and Lolo just got back sometime yesterday. Her next adventure may be Taiwan or somewhere else equally as far away. When she makes her next trip, I will send her off with a big hug and a bunch of I'm going to miss you and I'll miss her everyday again but I'll be inspired that she is following her wanderlust and is making big decisions and she is living her life the way she needs to.

I came across an entry at the Writing Time yesterday about Al Kinspel. The inspiration for me was that he found love again at 79 years old. There is hope for me yet, apparently. ha ha! Click the title of this entry to read about him.

EY

Meditations for Crisis

Thursday 24Apr08 6:15am

I've found these meditations helpful when I've been really mad or down or out of sorts. The one day I came home and did one right after the other in 3 minute intervals setting my cell phone timer for the three minutes and restarting everytime the alarm went off. Within a half hour, I felt amazing and filled with great energy and it lasted for a few days. There are a couple that I can't figure out how to do but it doesn't matter, there are more than enough that are easy to figure out.
EY

Meditations for These Times of Crisis

The following meditations were given to us by Yogi Bhajan many years ago.

These meditations were recommended to us by Guru Dev Singh subsequent to the September 11 events to assist us with maintaining our balance in these times of crisis.

Meditation to lead a stress-free existence.
It tonifies the heart and the digestive and elimination systems, and circulates prana to the nadies.
Sitting in easy pose, place the arms up at the sides at an angle of 60 degrees from the horizontal, with the palms facing up and inward. Elbows are straight. Shake the hands vigorously, allowing the arms, shoulders, body, and legs to shake along with them. Do this for 3 minutes.

Place the arms straight out in front, horizontal to the ground. Bend the wrists toward you, so that the Jupiter finger (index finger) points upward. The other fingers are curled under the thumb. Moving only the wrists, rotate the Jupiter fingers outward, then downward, then inward, then upward again. The right hand will have its Jupiter finger rotating clockwise around the wrist, and the left hand counter-clockwise. The arms remain straight and stationary. Try to keep the Jupiter finger in a vertical plane moving around the wrist. Do this for 3 minutes. Then inhale, hold and squeeze, and exhale, three time.

When you feel like you are in a hole.
Sitting in easy pose, hold your arms in front of your chest, forearms parallel to the ground. Place the right hand over the left, about 6 inches, pointing in opposite directions. Palms are facing downward. Move the hands in and out very rapidly. The right hand moves outward away from you as the left hand moves inward toward you. Then the left hand moves outward and the right hand inward.
Keep up this motion for 3 minutes.
Inhale deeply, hold, then exhale, 3 times.

Be aware of external events in a moment of crisis
Sit in easy pose with the elbows bent and the hands up at the level of the shoulders.
Extend the Jupiter (index) fingers up and lock the thumb over the other fingers.
Eyes at the tip of the nose.
Whisper the mantra: Aad Guray Nameh, Jugaad Guray Namay, Sat Guray Nameh, Siri Guru Dayvay Nameh. 11 Minutes

Translation: Guided from the primal core and beginning
Through every moment of experience and activity
Guided in your heart’s deepest truth and being
By the unseen Infinity of your highest self

For fear
Sit in easy pose and grasp the Sun (ring) finger of the left hand with all the fingers of the right hand. The thumb of the left hand goes under the right hand.
Chant Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Se So Hung. 3 Minutes

For grounding
Sit in easy pose with the hands in prayer pose.
Keeping the hands together inhale and raise the arms up straight. It is like the position for Sat Kriya.
Begin, as in Sat Kriya, chanting Sat Nam, pulling the navel with each repetition.
After three repetitions, slowly chant Wahe Guru as the hands are slowly brought down to the heart level against the body. Repeat this cycle.
Continue for 3 Min, increasing to 11 Minutes

To make you aware and to stimulate the brain
Sit in easy pose and place the hands behind the neck, interlocking the fingers.
Begin chanting “Har” from the navel point, pulling the elbows forward each time “Har” in chanted. 3 Minutes

This exercise stimulates the feeling of the the brain and makes you able to speak so people can hear you.


To become more aware
Sit in easy pose and bring the hands up in front of the body.
Cup the hands slightly and the begin clapping them together, one grasping the other.
Form the mouth into an “O” and exhale the moment your hands clap. 11 Minutes

Kriya To take away pain
A. Sit in easy pose with the left hand up as if taking an oath. Palm in facing forward. Stretch the right arm straight out in front with the palm down. Eyes are closed. Inhale through the nose and exhale with a cannon breath through a circled mouth. Move the right arm up and down powerfully 30-40 cm, two repetitions per second breathing in this way. 3 Minutes
B. Sitting in easy pose, reverse the hand positions. The breathing is the same. 3 Minutes
C. Still sitting in easy pose, bend the arm at the elbow and bring the hands up to the level of the shoulders with the palms facing up. Breathing pattern is the same. Hold the position. 3 Minutes
D. Sit in easy pose with the hands in front of the body, palms facing down. Begin striking the floor with the open palms chanting “Har” with each strike. 3 Minutes

Kriya for people in anxiety
A. Sit in easy pose with the hands in prayer pose in front of the chest. Then move the hands downward with fingers pointing away from the body and then back up again to the original position. This is a fast, shaking motion. Long deep breathing. 3 Minutes
B. Still sitting in easy pose, extend the arms forward, bending the arms at the elbow. Keep the elbows in close to the body, upper arms extend somewhat beyond the shoulder, palms are open and facing the body. Begin bringing the hands in toward the body and then back out again. The movement is about 12 inches. Form a circle with the mouth and breathe in and out rapidly through the mouth. 3 Minutes
C. This is the same as part A., only breathe rapidly in an out through the mouth as in B. 3 Minutes