Scott Sonnon

Facebook does have it’s benefits. One of the things I like the most is that you can see what your friends press ‘like’ on. I noticed my friend Tanya was always liking this guy’s post and when she commented on his posts, she’d call him Coach.

Who is this Scott ‘coach’ guy? Is he a life coach? So I started clicking into his posts.
Writing wise, he does everything I would like to eventually do. He gives personal anecdotes that provide an experiential teaching. He wasn’t the cool kid, or the good looking kid. He was the over weight kid. He was the kid who wasn’t supposed to amount to anything. He was the kid who was told, by the well-meaning, that he should have realistic goals. Don’t dream too big, you’ll be disappointed.

If I were to describe who Scott is, well, it would fall short of all he encompasses on his page. And don’t we get too focused on trying to describe who people are rather than focusing on the gifts that they give? Needless to say I’ve been following him for a year or so now.

One thing I could never understand about Scott was why he always responds to the negativity. We’ve all read those comment sections in articles or on facebook pages where there are the ‘anonymous’ posters who take a crap on what’s just been said. They take a crap on the views expressed. They take a crap on the people who want to move up in their thinking instead of staying in the dirty gutter of negativity.

I’d read some of Scott’s posts responding to those types and I’d think, “Scott, why do you bother? You can’t change them!”

And then it clicked in, it’s not them he’s trying to change. He’s showing on a daily basis that he has a particular focus and no matter what the gutter dwellers say, he isn’t losing that focus. ‘So thank you for your comment, you have a right to it, and this is what I believe and have a right to believe.”

It connects so well with what I mentioned in a previous blog entry about accepting others exactly the way they are providing the opening to then accept ourselves exactly the way we are.

Scott’s posts teach me everyday to stay focused in doing what I want to do, no matter the criticisms. And There Will Be CRITICISMS! Right? Always criticisms. I wrote him a quick note to tell him that I finally got what he was doing. And Thank you because it is so important for us to learn - At Any Age!

This is my Personal One Year of a new Nine year cycle, as I mention a lot ;) And I’ve learned some profound things this year. I’ve been learning the deeper meanings of what I thought I already knew. The most recent reason why I sent Scott a message was about his response to “Being From Prague”. I will post his response as a blog entry.

I had an AHA moment about being centred. I told Scott that what I’ve really learned is that he is role-modeling how to be centred - physically, emotionally and spiritually. I’ve always understood being centred as being grounded, feet firmly planted, the physical aspect of being grounded. But I’d never brought the discipline of thinking into it. I’m seeing more and more that thinking/ thought is a discipline.

The discipline of thought is running a race and not getting distracted by the people in the stands screaming your name or your opponent’s name. It’s performing as your character in a play and not noticing your family in the audience. It’s the practice of Work as Yoga and not being attached to a specific outcome. Fully in your centre.

It reminds me of a question that Wayne Dyer asks in one of his PBS specials, “ What comes out of you when you’re squeezed?”
He says if you squeeze an orange you always get orange juice. But if someone squeezes you do they get anger, venom, what do they get?

We can choose what it is that comes out of us regardless of what is going on. We can remain in our centre even when we are squeezed. We need the discipline of our thoughts to bring us forward. Who am I kidding, all those sentences should say “I, not we!” ha-ha!

Sometimes my mind is like Houdini struggling to get out of a restraint, except he was gifted and quick. lol What do I choose to come out of me when I am squeezed?

EY

Scott Sonnon on Facebook

Snake Venom and The Wolves

Hay House was live streaming Dr. Wayne Dyer's movie My Greatest Teacher this weekend. I guess to fall in line with Father's day.

The quote from it that started my day yesterday was, "It's not the snake bite that kills you, it's the venom." The interpretation was that we stay so focused on the bad things that happen to us that they become a venom in our systems.

So many little things can get into our systems and affect our reactions to everything. You know, so many of us walk around with a negative spin on life and we don't even notice it.

I went to my cats vet clinic for their open house, yesterday. I've always wanted to know what it looked like behind the scenes. What a gorgeous place. When I adopted my Gatsby from them, I had promised that I would use them for all my cats because my experience with them had been so positive. They've cared for my 4 cats and were beyond compassionate and gentle when I had to put down Picasso in 2010 and Quincy in Feb. I love their staff, so it figures that I would get a large dose of inspiration going there yesterday.

I left my house with the question, "Where is the venom coming from?" Because I knew I wanted to write about it. I know I still have a lot of work to do with my level of patience in certain situations. I have to admit, I am so tired of working with people who don't know how to do their jobs, after years or months of working in their positions. I can't always hide my disdain. It is becoming venom in my system. I need to remind myself to keep my eyes on the goal, my goal.

I sat with my co-worker on Thursday and we had a conversation about a disturbing news piece that has been swirling around Canada for the last little while. The news has been about a guy (I refuse to mention his name and give him more air time) who killed a Chinese student in Montreal, mutilated the student and mailed his parts to a political party office and to Vancouver. It's such a disturbing story and with every new breaking news piece, it just gets to become more disturbing.

My co-worker and I were talking about how these news pieces can really set us up to think that the world is one big cesspool. I'd commented that since I got rid of my television that the only way I can watch the news live is by watching the morning shows like the Breakfast television livestream. Of course every hour they cycle through the same news stories and it almost becomes like a mantra of murder and violence and the incomprehensible. It becomes venom in the system. I've made a new promise to myself that I will only listen to the news in one cycle and then I'll turn it off.

There are so many areas in life, my life where there are opportunities to be injected with venom. Am I going to let the venom poison my bloodstream or am I going to transform the poison to make me stronger?

I was processing all these thoughts as I entered the vet clinic. Everyone was smiling as I walked in. The vet clinic manager walked right up to me the moment I got in there. Big friendly smile, her little poodle named Reggae in her arms. Reggae is a poodle with dreads. Cuteness overload! The manager says with a smile that she will be happy to give me a 'backstage' tour but would I like to help myself to something to eat and drink first? I opted for the food and drink first, I was hungry. lol

Now just as an aside, are you thinking, "oh of course everyone is smiling, they are having an open house. They want your business!"? Sometimes I think that and it's a little negative spin on something that is nice. It's a drop of venom. It takes away from the friendliness. It gives everyone an ulterior motive and I can't fully enjoy myself. Thankfully I wasn't thinking that when I went it. What I was actually thinking was, 'it will be nice to see how many people work here.' Every time I've been there with my cats, I've met someone new.

I got to see the vet who put down my Quincy in February. She had been so touched with Quincy and me, when I had to put her down, that Jamie sent me a condolence card saying so. I balled my eyes out when I got that card, saying that she was touched to have been a part of my experience with my girl and that even though she didn't know me that she felt the love that I have for my pets and that I was a good cat mommy for doing the right thing for Quincy.

I gave her a big hug when I saw her and told her, "I was hoping I'd see you."

I had some strawberry cake with a crazy, tasty fondant. I chatted with a guy who has a hot-dog dog. Yes, I know what they're called. I still like to call them hot dogs. lol
I got my tour, got to pat some kitties and dogs in boarding and got a good appreciation for what their place is.

There was a woman painting a painting of Reggae, the dread-locked black poodle. Her name is Emilia Jajus. I watched her paint a little and I was ready to go. Then out of the blue I looked at her and asked, "How long have you been painting?"

She's been painting since she was a kid of course, said that she moved to Toronto when she was in her twenties, realized that Toronto was more of a 'business' town and got herself a job in a corporate office. She kept painting on the side and as she put it, "my entire cubicle was filled with my work, all my co-workers kept saying I was in the wrong business."

When the economy tanked she was laid off and took that opportunity to put her focus on painting full-time. It wasn't a difficult transition because she had been doing it on the side. And she literally had a painting gig for Starbucks, I think, to sit in one of their coffee shops and paint for a week. She's been painting full time since 2008.

We exchanged contact information and she emailed me yesterday, as promised.

I left the vet clinic feeling inspired by Emilia.

I went to get my groceries and in the grocery store, they made an announcement that the BBQ chicken that is normally $8.99 was on sale all day for $6.99. I thought I'd grab one so I could have a readymade lunch. I wanted a relaxed day, might as well have cooked food, so I don't gotta! :)

I get to the check out and the chicken rings up as $9.99. I mention it to the cashier and she says the price will reduce in the end. It didn't. She checks and rechecks my bill, then says, "I think you have the wrong chicken."
I say, "but those are the only chickens there."
She offers to take it off my bill and I originally say yes, then I change my mind. I wanted that chicken, it was the best looking golden, brown chicken of the bunch. And then a drop of venom as I was leaving the store - "Stinkin' store, they tell you they have a sale and then only offer the expensive chicken that's not even on sale."
And I caught myself, I could have refunded the chicken but I chose to keep it because I wanted it. GET OVER IT AND JUST ENJOY NOT HAVING TO COOK!

It was tasty. I had a couple chicken legs and thighs and a beer. And the rest of the chicken made into chicken salad for sandwiches during the week. A nice Saturday afternoon bite, some leftovers, and a great day overall.

And Emilia. She reminds me of another friend of mine who got laid off from her radio job and decided to focus full time on her singing. Every time I go to her gigs, she just looks so happy. She told me, "I may have to get a part time job in a few months but I really love the way my life has turned out since I've made my singing a priority."

It really reminds me that the main key to transforming the venom in our systems, in my system, is to be focused on what we love. Back in the day, when I worked in Retail, I always had my mind on writing. What I was going to write that night, what I was going to write in the morning before I went to work. I didn't have the venom. Or better yet, I transformed the venom before it affected me. Nasty customer? Shrug shoulders, as soon as this shift is done I'm going home to write.

This morning as I was checking Facebook, my friend Che had shared the picture up there of the two wolves and which wolf you choose to feed. I commented on her share that it was timely. ha! It sure was.

I want to feed the wolf who looks for the inspiration in life. It's everywhere. :)


Check out Emilia Jajus website and gallery. She is as talented as she is beautiful


EY

Clearing Old Energy

5June11 Sunday
"Oh Man, the universe had to send me the most attractive, intoxicating guy for me to say no to in order for me to clear the old energy. It's not a learned lesson without a certain level of difficulty." My journal entry from 1June11.

Yep, I'm feeling the tests of the universe, that is for sure. It's always that way, when you say you want to stand for something, like wanting to feel good, the Universe will send you these curves to see how fully committed you are to your new stance. My latest test has been the most adorably gentle, intoxicating man I have ever met. I swear when I'm near him the aliens abduct my brain that is how intoxicated I get from him.

But something isn't quite right. I've been going to his work for 3 years. I never even realized he noticed me other than being a customer. And it's within the last couple months that there has been a decided difference. I won't get into the nitty gritty but he has come across as being very happy with me doing all the showing up. He has been wonderful when ever I see him. He makes me feel like he's happy to see me. He intoxicates me. But any kind of "outside of work" contact has been nil. Non-responsive to the couple emails I've sent him, no moves for my phone number. etc, etc. Everything feels so public all the time with no real moves for one on one. Warning signs?

In keeping with my new boundaries of how I want to be guided in my life, it doesn't make me feel good. I am filled with anxieties about him with all those questions that come up like, "When is he going to ask me out? When is he going to ask me for my phone number? Is he ever going to make a substantial move?"
Always when I leave I walk as I call it the "depression walk". Because I know it will be yet another week that I will have to wait. Now don't get me wrong, I do love a man who takes his time and doesn't rush things but getting to know each other on a one on one basis doesn't fall into rushing things it falls into moving things forward.

It's interesting though because his presence has helped me to adjust some of my daily affirmations.

I've been through this too many times to count. I've been the woman who shows up and shows up and wonders all the questions above and eventually watches as the guy ends up with someone else. Ironically, the movie that was playing last night was, "He's just not that into you." Message? I think so. It's so easy to make excuses for people who don't quite choose me. Oh he's an, "Out of sight, out of mind" kind of person so I just have to make myself MORE available. Or he's shy so I'll have to take the reigns. Well, what I've been told by many men over the years is that even the shy ones find a way to ask a woman they like out.

It's funny how male/female interests can bring up so many family issues. I don't keep in touch with any of my family like I used to, after my mom died, because I realized one day that if I didn't call, they wouldn't call. It was hard to see that the only reason why a relationship was maintained was because I maintained it. Right, right... that was what ultimately fed into my bout of depression so many years ago. Interesting!

So I analyze this situation and I feel like I'm doing an awful lot of chasing for great feelings at the time but then when I walk away I feel like shit.

In my return email to my ex that I mentioned in the previous blog entry, I told him that one of my latest affirmations is I no longer need to attract this into my life (whatever 'this' is). And the sweetface intoxicator is helping me to add more of what I no longer need to attract into my life.

I no longer need to attract the feeling of being lonely in a love relationship again.
I no longer need to attract a man who makes me wait needlessly.

I want a man, I want people who choose me. Plain and simple. They don't have to be up my ass, but I know which people choose me and I certainly know when a man chooses me. And if there are bad childhood feelings that come up, clearly there are things I have to work on and I can only work on them the best way I can. But chasing after people who are not available for me for whatever reason breeds desperation and the question, "What's wrong with me?"

What's wrong with me that he doesn't call? What's wrong with me that I have to do all the work? And all the myriad of questions that can come up. There's nothing wrong with me. I am more than enough.

He is just not that into me. He doesn't choose me and in order to feel good, I can't choose him.

EY

I Want To Feel Good

Saturday 28May11

I first heard the phrase, "I want to feel good," from Wayne Dyer and The Power of Intention. That book and Inspiration are my favorite books of his. Anyway, I watched him on PBS before I bought the book and ultimately the DVD and the workshop. I think they called it the Whole Enchilada on PBS. ha ha.

Wayne was talking about how his voice message on his home phone says something to the effect of, "Hi I'm Wayne Dyer and I want to feel good. If this message is for the purpose of anything other than making me feel good, call Dr. Phil!" Cute joke. But I really liked the idea of, I want to feel good and I decided that was the phrase I wanted to have guide my life.

I didn't really think it through. I'd say the phrase, I want to feel good, but I wasn't following it with anything so sometimes I'd feel good but then someone would do something to aggravate me and I'd get all caught up in rehashing in my thoughts what aggravated me and I wasn't feel good anymore.

The Easter long weekend I had a complete sobfest and after I came of out it I wrote about it in my morning pages and ended up back at the phrase, I want to feel good and I got it. I need to have the intention and then I need to make my actions correspond to the intention.

I've noticed a considerable difference especially at work. I work with all men, STILL! And boy oh boy they can be some moody bastards. They can push anybody to stop feeling good sometimes by simply walking through the door. Since I want to feel good, when Happy Gilmore is sucking his teeth at something or saying something nasty, I tell myself, I want to feel good and I focus on what makes me feel good. Luckily, I can play my music in the office so I usually just sing the song that is playing. Or I leave the office and make more tea. Or I crack a joke with my co-worker/ work husband and I don't involve myself in Happy's tirade.

I do it with my boss, with the contractors who can be smart asses. I do it with everything at work that could possibly take me down the aggravated path. And it has been amazing. I've been so much happier at work.

It's funny, as with all new decisions there is always something that will come up where the universe asks you, "Are you really sure this is your commitment?"

Well I got that test. I've been hit with all this stuff coming back at me like a clearing of old energy. An ex-boyfriend and I would haphazardly keep in contact with each other and inevitably one of us would get on the other ones nerves and there would be a span of years where there would be no contact.

The last time this happened, I had decided to myself, "you know, this guy has never really been my friend. Why do I keep accepting him back when he repeatedly shows he's unreliable?" Just because you know someone for a long time doesn't mean they need to be in your life. We can have weird obligations that don't really make sense. So needless to say, I had decided back then, about 5 years ago to write him off.

Well never to be totally written off, he emailed me about two weeks ago to ask me why I seemed to have been offended by something he said and since we had known each other for all this time, he felt I should tell him what he had done to offend me. There had been other emails and attempts at contacting me prior to this but there was always that insulting edge I just never bothered. This time, I felt like I had to answer.

As I replied to his email I kept saying to myself, if I'm going to commit to being a certain type of person I will have to send an email that states everything but in the kindest way possible. I explained the the things that had finally brought me to the decision to cut the friendship off and explained that my life is now guided by, "I want to feel good." I didn't come right out and say, you don't make me feel good but the implication was there.

I wrote, "I just want to feel good and that is what guides my decisions about everything... I just want to feel good and if I don't feel good anymore, I go away."

Obviously there was much more to the email. I thanked him for taking the time to send me his email and how very sweet it was but I don't know if knowing someone for many years is really enough to continue. We focus on what we need to focus on and we are in the people's lives we need to be in... I no longer need to attract this into my life anymore.

He hasn't written me back so I think it's finally done. And it was done in such a way that I was kind but very clear that there is no room for him in my life anymore.

I want to feel good. It took me a minute to get it. But boy have I been feeling great!

EY

Mesmerized By Uncertainty

Monday 12Feb07 5:59pm

I took a cab to work this morning and got to hear a portion of a speech by Martin Luther King Jr. In it he talked about people being mesmerized by uncertainty. I liked that phrasing. It's true isn't it? We do spend so much needless time being mesmerized by uncertainty, focusing on all the things that can go wrong, focusing on all the things that frustrate us, focusing on all the things that we can't control. Personally, I can get into that spiral so easily and forget that there are any other possibilities.

It's just as easy to focus on all the things that could go right for a change. It would certainly give me a boost of positivity. What if I could complete all my novels? What if I could write 3 hours a day, every single day for the rest of my life and love myself for prioritizing? What if that smiling guy actually feels the same way about me? Who cares if he doesn't, by the time I realize he might not I'll have moved on, anyway. What if tomorrow I can accomplish one goal and the next day accomplish two and build on my successes every single day?

I liked the quote that either Deepak Chopra or Wayne Dyer mentions in their talk together (Creating your world the way you really want it to be.) One of them says, " Stop worrying about things you can't control because you can't control them so why worry about them? And Stop worrying about the things you can control because you can control them so there's no point in worrying about them. If you don't worry about what you can't control because you can't control it and you don't worry about the things you can control because you can control it, there's nothing to worry about. So Stop Worrying!"

I finally get that sugar makes me sleepy and have successfully cut that out as an option. I'm going to try being mesmerized by certainty for change. See how high I can lift my energy. Things are going to happen the way they happen anyway whether I look forward to things or feel scared of some unforeseen fallout.

You never know. What if I could get everything I want?

EY