23 April 2006

Late Bloomers

A woman I've worked with for ten years at my part-time job has handed
in her resignation. She was called a lifer by many because no one
could ever foresee her leaving her position. In a week she'll be
walking off into the sunshine of the possibilities of a newer and
better job with better pay and opportunities to travel.

It's funny how life works sometimes. People see someone in a job for a
long time and they can't see the possibility of that person leaving.
People see someone as being consistently single and they see that
person with pity and that ever unspoken question of, "what's wrong with
her that she can't get a man?"

It's hard to be a late bloomer, you know, one of those people that
doesn't get married young or never moves in with her first serious
boyfriend. Most people can't see past what your life looks like right
now. Is it a lack of imagination or belief? I don't know how many times
I've endured that question, "Have you met anyone yet?"

And if the answer is no, there is that pitying silence, that
implication that there is something wrong with me because I haven't
walked down the street and run into the one like some kind of freak

It's interesting because often the people that are asking the same old
tired question are in unhappy relationships. After they've let me stew
in the uncomfortable silence of almost making me feel obligated to
justify my singleness they'll turn around and say, "Sometimes it's
better not being in a relationship."

If you really believe that then why do you keep asking me if I've met
someone yet? I meet lots of someone's but it doesn't mean i want to
take it much further than that.

Of all the men I've dated through out my dateable years I couldn't see
myself with all that I know today, remaining with any of them. Should I
really have stayed with one of them so I wouldn't have to be single? I
honestly don't think so. I'd either have an ulcer or a rash all over my
body. If I have too many sleepless nights, develop a mysterious rash or
can't keep my food down repeatedly I look for what in my life is
causing my psychosomatic sickness. And dump the guy. But that's just

I had a chat recently with a friend who has basically left his marriage
except he's forgotten to tell his wife. He's afraid to say that he
wants to break up because of the possibility of a messy divorce. I
would hate to be in that relationship. I would hate to think that the
man lying beside me doesn't want to be lying beside me but is too
scared to leave because he doesn't want the messyness that can come
with endings. But with endings comes the inevitable beginning.

He's a gorgeous guy too fully trained by his wife to be sensitive to
women's needs. ha ha! I'd date him if he was single.

Maybe the man I'm supposed to meet is still shaking like a fraidy cat
too scared to leave what he's got. How many people do you know that are
in relationships that they should have left eons ago?

Maybe the so-called single problem is like the economy. The more people
spend the better the economy is. The more people get out of stale
relationships and take the chance on being single the better the
options. You never know.

In the meantime, my work friend starts her new job in just over a week.
I told her, "you're life is going to change drastically and for the
better." In a few years all the naysayers will forget that they called
her a lifer and they'll still be sitting at that same job talking about
someone else. I cheer her with happy envy knowing that another late
bloomer has proven them all wrong.

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