Sunday 4:41pm 30July06
I've recovered from my fake blogathon and feel rather chatty this late afternoon.
I just went to get groceries, late for me as I usually have that all done before 7am but I was supporting my new friend at the Shattered Prayer Blog http://noumenal.net/blogs/weblog.php?id=0 while she actually did the real blogathon. I ended up sponsoring her because mostly she made me laugh out loud with some of her postings. And also she turned me on to the blogathon and with all that she had to do with blogging for 24 hours, she still took the time out to read my Writing2Live blog. I tried to read other blogathon blogs but no one brought me the same interest as my shattered prayer friend did. It's funny, I subscribed to her blog through feedblitz and that is how I got to know about her. She lives in Georgia.
So she is my excuse for getting groceries so late. I lucked out though in that Fresh Obsessed wasn't it's normal busy self. When I shop for groceries I talk to myself. Ooh that looks good. Wow, they have corn on the cob on sale! I'm often followed by the security detail for a bit because they are positive I must be a thief or crazy. They discover that no, I'm not a thief, crazy? Depends on your perspective I guess.
I'm always nervous buying corn on the cob when it's still in the husks. I just don't know how to pick em without taking them out of the husks. But I heard once that it's actually better to cook them in the husks. Does anyone know if that's true?
I stopped and stared lovingly at the Mae West cakes from Vachon. It's a Montreal cake. Torontonians know Joe Louis but never had Mae West cakes growing up. There must be a Montrealer behind some of the choices because I'm finding more and more foods that we love in Montreal. Like actual Cott's black cherry. It was sold under the Master Choice label but every once in awhile you can get it as Cott. It's so reassuring. Now if only I could get a good smoked meat sandwich to go with my Cott's Black Cherry. sigh!
Instead of buying the Mae West cakes, of which I already have a box in my freezer, I decided to buy a Blueberry pie and whipped cream. About six years back I went through a blueberry pie craving of immense proportions. They had those Stevenson blueberry pies on sale buy one, get one free and I literally bought two blueberry pies every few days for at least a month, possibly bordering on three months. It was so out of control and I was so whacked up on blueberry pie that I was calling them 'Parker Stevenson' pies.
The scary part is that I used a whole can of whipped cream on half a pie. Yes I said it. And they put the whipped cream on sale too. Every day my friend would call me and ask me what I was doing and then she'd say, "Blueberry pie again, Shelley?" in an awed whisper. Yes blueberry pie again.
Thankfully that craving turned into blueberries and I was eating crates of blueberries. A lot healthier for the system.
I don't know what it is about cravings. What part of us do we feel is missing? I swear I'm a lot skinnier than I should be given the cravings I've endured. Mind you, you don't gain much weight if you're only eating blueberry pie.
I finally clicked in today about my need to change the furniture around in the house. I always laugh that I do it because I need a bigger place and I want to move. Also I chuckle because I inherited the changing the furniture around obsession from my mother who would change the furniture around every few months. What I clicked into was that for my mother it was her way of controlling her urge to run away from it all. The sometimes insane life she was living. The violence and crimes that she felt she had to endure.
Now I don't live in the same circumstances as an adult but my restless wanderlust is similar. So if I move the furniture around because of a restless wanderlust what is with the obsessive food cravings? It's almost like it's something I have to keep doing until I get it out of my system. What do I need to get out of my system?
I have a lot of food stories from being the slowest eater in the house to becoming the biggest eater in the house during my 'eating years' as I like to call them. There is a level of control with eating. That's why people are anorexic or bulimic. They don't have control in their lives so they control what they eat or don't eat. So I think there is some similarity for me. I ate more than my step father as a teenager because it pissed him off. I was super active riding my bike and rollerskating 4 times a week so I knew I'd burn off the food as quickly as I ate it. And eating a whole cake and pissing my step father off was, well, icing on the proverbial cake.
But the cravings now? There is something that I still feel that I'm missing. I savor the craving and enjoy each bite. Although there is a level of nervous anxiety maybe involved. It's almost like chain smoking or some kind of obsessive compulsiveness like someone who washes their hands constantly. I haven't quite put my finger on it. It'll soon come.
I've guided my cravings more towards healthier things like cherries. And I've limited my devouring of the other odd cravings that pop up by satisfying my cravings with smaller portions. But buying that blueberry pie today triggered the questions, what am I missing and what do I need to get out of my system?
Maybe sometimes a craving is just a craving. Who knows?
I've been wondering how a Smoothie and Vodka would taste together, just as an aside...