Morning Pages

10:09am Saturday 8July06

I've been up for about an hour and I'm still grogged out. Went to bed after 3am. I'm used to seeing that time the other way around, getting up not just going to bed. The thing was that I was so wide awake I couldn't believe that I would even fall asleep. I was like that as a kid, I never wanted to go to bed and my brother would play a game, he'd say, "Go lie down for 5 minutes and if you're still awake when I come in your room you can get back up." I was always asleep in two.

I decided to call this Morning Pages because I feel like talk typing but don't have any particular direction. I'm just trying to wake up really. Julie Cameron (the Artist's Way) made morning pages famous but Dorothea Brande (If you want to write) was probably the person who came up with the idea. Henrietta Klauser also gives it as an assignment in her book, Writing on both sides of the brain.

My fast went well last week. My system finally feels like it's functioning as it should. I'm making it more of a point to eat right and stay away from the junk that stops me up. It's funny that the healthier I eat the less my body can tolerate the junk. When I was deep into following fit for life, I couldn't do sugar because it would conk me right out. I make it a point to veer away from people who bring me down, I have to be more mindful of what I put into my system too. I'm not in my 20's anymore. sigh!

I had an exceptionally fantastic day at work yesterday. The bunch of us were in silly moods and shared many a moment dropping crude comments and cracking each other up. I love my guys. They drive me crazy and make me laugh and really accept me as I am despite sometimes thinking that I'm a little strange. I am a lot strange. Eccentric? Probably. I'm okay with that.

Someone that I've never met and do not know left a comment on my blog yesterday. It was thrilling because his comment (about being a nurse not be a lesser goal) was enlightening. It's good to see what impression people get from my writing and that when I mean something it doesn't always translate. I didn't mean that Nursing was a lesser goal because it's darn hard with all the studying involved. I meant that people try to come up with a reasonable goal when you say, "I want to be a ..." They want you to go after something that with education and some serious hitting of the books you can achieve. And that it wasn't an inspiring goal for me. I almost wanted to revise my piece but decided against it. It's a good learning experience to weigh my words with more care. Not to the point of stunting myself mind you. But being more mindful.

I realize that I haven't had one of my, 'me, myself and I' parties in a long time. I wonder why that is? Possibly because I'm happier. Who knows. In my parties I would play music as loud as possible and dance and sing and have a few glasses of wine. Once it got late and I'd slow down, I would inevitably turn to Cat Stevens and play his music for an hour and stare at his picture on his album cover and contemplate how deep he was and how gorgeous. ha ha. It's my thing.

Well, apparently I'm all talked out now. Going to make myself a bit to eat and apparently I'm going rollerblading today, so I've told myself anyway...

EY