27 August 2008

Crush Self Doubt

Wednesday 27Aug08 12:27pm

When one door closes another one opens. So I’m trying to believe that as I hold the tears at bay.
Boy oh boy crappy things really can happen, can’t they? And with all the law of attraction I know about and all that it’s easy to fall into just sitting with the negativity having a good cry and asking the cosmos ‘WHY?”

I’m not really sure what this is all about. What is the purpose? But I can’t ask why, I just need to ask, What do I choose now?

It’s ironic that I would receive that message from Neale Donald Walsh of conversations with God fame. I get regular emails entitled ‘I believe God wants you to know.’ And most recently the message I’ve kept at my desk is this:

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know...
...that "Why is this happening?" is the most useless question in the Universe.

The only really profitable question is, "What?" As in, "What do I choose now?" This question empowers. The "why" question simply perplexes, and rarely satisfies even when it gets a good answer.

So don't try to "figure it out." Stop it. Just focus on what you now wish to create. Keep moving forward. There's nothing behind you that can possibly serve you better than your highest thoughts about tomorrow.

You will not have to think but a second to know exactly why you received this message today. end

It was appropriate when I received it and it’s even more appropriate today. I’ve got a question to ask to reframe my thoughts and move my focus forward.

What do I choose now? I do not know the reasoning behind why I am having all these issues, Maybe I want what I want too much. I don’t really know. There is apparently a method to all this madness.

It’s hard to be optimistic when I keep getting slapped right down. I honestly don’t know what to do other than ask the question, what do I choose now, and keep asking it until I figure out what to choose. I know that being depressed serves no real purpose which is a vast improvement on the way my thoughts can work. Depression is a choice, it follows my thoughts. It’s that simple.

I feel like I am dodging bullets left right and centre. And the bullet grazes hurt like hell. So the positive side of that is, imagine how much worse the full on effect of being hit by the proverbial bullets? Apparently with the Kevlar vest, there is still bruising.

And today’s card from Christin Snider is absolutely perfect with all this.

Today's Card: Ace of Clubs (Wands)

In this card the scepter reaches out from the clouds like the hand of heaven. Behind it lies the hill with a beautiful castle.
Wands/Clubs signify new beginnings, the seeds of ideas, fresh starts, and manifesting our energy in ways that allow us to reach our goals.

Where thoughts flow so does our energy, so it becomes very important to direct our thoughts (and therefore our energy) in empowered ways.
Rather than focus on what's "wrong" or potential failure etc, it is important to keep our eyes turned towards the goal, and more importantly to stay motivated and encouraged now so that the goal doesn't seem so elusive.

The success of a journey is not merely the destination, but all the growth and opportunities that occur on all phases, from initial thoughts and planning, to action and then ultimately to achievement.

Ace's often carry with them some element of surprise or hidden opportunity, so make the most of all situations that present themselves to you. Look for new approaches to old challenges as well.

You may find yourself surprised by a sudden change in plans, go for the change :), happiness comes in surprise packages.

The Ace of Clubs reminds us that it is necessary for you to make the first step, to try something different, and be on the lookout for new ideas. Be receptive and open to the possibility of change/alternatives being presented. end

So there I go, there I go, there I go! Depression does nothing, being sad does nothing, asking why does nothing. I have one way to go and that is up. What the bleep do I choose now?
When you feel like your life is falling apart maybe it’s just a sign that it has to fall apart, you have to tear the sucker down and then you can build a new life, the life you really want.

And so I post this now, while I’m at work, because if there is anyone out there who feels like shit today and asks for that little miracle and happens along this blog, this could be your miracle. Miracles don’t have to be big. They can be about knowing that you are not alone.

A Japanese proverb that I found recently: Fall seven times, stand up eight!


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