Opened to the Magic

I’m always reminded that magic happens whenever I look for it. I simply need to look for it. If I put a note on my wall of all the things I need to remember to live a sane and spiritual life I swear my walls would be covered. Needless to say I’m always working on finding that regular focus of wonder, I guess is the best way to put it.
Anyway I attended the final Bloody Words writing conference/ festival a few weekends ago. As I was walking in on the Saturday morning I was kitty corner from a woman cop and her horse. She was standing on the pavement talking to several people who were taking pictures of the horse. The first thing I said, out loud, on the street corner, was “HORSEY!” Yes my inner child is loud and present when it comes to animals.

Then, in my head, I said, “Let me go over there and show this cop what I can do to her horse.” Half joking/ half serious.

I got to them just as she was situating herself back on the horse. I smiled and said Hi and asked her if it was okay if I pat the horse. She said yes. “His name is Timmus.”

I let Timmus smell my hand then I patted him and chatted with him about how beautiful he is and how his eyes were so lovely. Like I do. Then I said to him and the cop, that I would let them go and started to say my good-byes which consists of me repeating like a nut-bar, “Okay good bye, good bye beautiful, goodbye.”

Doesn't Timmus gently press his whole head up against my breasts and stomach and stay that way? I moved my face up against his and we cuddled as I said, “That’s the nicest goodbye ever. I’m so glad that I stopped to meet you.”
The cop looked down at us both in awe. She said, “Wow, He REALLY likes you. He’s never done that before, to anyone!”
I said, “Ahh, he’s just getting a little emotional because he understands how emotional I am.”

“It must be because he’s not emotional in the least. He’s simply not an emotional horse. ”

I smiled and waved my goodbyes to them both and I trotted off with a huge smile on my face.

Last night I had pre-screening passes to see the Jersey Boys movie. I didn't look too hard to find a friend to attend with me. I asked three different friends and they all had plans and I was done looking. I asked myself why I didn't feel like going to the trouble of asking around to find someone who might want to go. I decided to listen to that feeling and go to see the movie on my own. Maybe I’d have a piece of magic.

I had two hours to kill after work and before the movie started so I figured I’d choose a restaurant/ bar close to the theatre and have a glass of wine. I walked up the strip and chose a place that was not busy and sat at the bar.
I wasn't even hungry but ended up ordering their Indonesian chicken wings. Any one who meets up with me at restaurants knows that I have my two go-to favourite meals, chicken wings or bangers & mash. I had bangers & mash in Bermuda and chicken wings in Brisbane, Australia. Ha-ha! Anyway I was sitting at the bar away from the three men who were on the other side of the bar. I’d had a conversation with one of the bartenders about tattoos because she had three. (I promised her I’d go back in September once I got my next half-birthday tattoo to show it to her.) And I had reading material. I was reading Christine Delorey's article “The Lesson Continues Until It Is Learned” (something I firmly believe) and highlighting pieces that mean something to me.

A woman comes in and doesn't she sit right beside me? Not leave an empty chair between us but right beside me. So I think, I wonder what we have to offer each other today. I over hear her ask about the Riesling and Joey tattoo bartender says, “well this lady right here is drinking it.” They both look at me. “What do you think of it?”

I smile and say, “Well it’s my 2nd glass. It’s lovely, not too sweet.”

And I did the weirdest thing EVER! I look at the lady and say, “if it doesn't freak you out you can try a sip of mine.”

I do not know where that came from except maybe I was being a bit of Timmus the Horse to her energy. There was a gentleness in her eyes. You know some people just exude it. So she said, “yes okay, I will take a sip and I promise I don’t have the cooties.”

She ordered a glass of the Riesling based on the sip. It was a tasty Riesling. Ha-ha!

And we cracked jokes about cooties and our conversation was off and running. She asked me what I was working on and I told her about the numerology report. I told her about Christine’s work. I swear in 3 minutes she had typed in three websites in her phone that I recommended including my blog address, which she asked for once I said I am a writer.
We talked about energy and energy vampires. We talked about being sponges to other peoples energy and understanding more and more a need to protect ourselves from it. We talked about social media and how difficult it is to be a kid and have someone post crap about you and the negativity and she likened it to being “common people paparazzi.”

“I know right?,” I said, “You can’t make any mistake in public ever because the first thing people are doing is pulling out their phones to take a picture of you to post.”

That 45 minutes talking to Shauna (Shawna?) flew by like five minutes. Then her dad showed up for them to have dinner before they attended Jersey Boys the movie, as well. We shook hands, said nice to meet you, thanks for the great conversation and she was off with her dad.

I said to Joey the bartender, “Wow I really liked her. I’m so glad she sat beside me”

“Yes it’s funny how that can go when someone sits right beside you when there are so many empty seats. My first thought is always, why beside me when there are so many other places to sit. But if we just open ourselves up we could have a really great experience. I try to remember that when someone sits beside me on public transit when they could have sat in the bunch of empty seats instead”

I agreed with Joey wholeheartedly.

And that’s what I know I am opening myself up to now that I’m getting over most of my friends being engrossed in their own lives and too busy for meet ups. That’s what guided me not to find someone for my extra pre-screening pass. I’m embracing ‘being alone for a reason.’

There’s something that I need to open myself up to that I can only do alone. I’m also testing my energy as a projector. I’m asking the energy, my energy, ‘okay show me who embraces my energy today. Show me who is sending me an invitation.’

And as I walked into the Scotiabank Theatre to watch Jersey Boys a man asked, “Would you happen to have an extra pass for Jersey Boys?”

“Yes as a matter of fact, I do. Here you go. It never hurts to ask eh?’ I smiled at him as he thanked me profusely. Probably because I didn't try to sell it to him. And I was up the escalator to a movie based on a live show that I love that has brought me such great pleasure, memories and friends! I’m super happy Clint Eastwood made it into a movie. I love that he loved the show that much. I loved being able to sit in the theatre with all my sentimentality and be surrounded with so much that I got to love for a few years when the live show was in Toronto. And I love that they incorporated the finale in a way that tips their hats off to the live show. I danced the live show finale everyday at work and when I was an audience member in the live show. I left the theatre giggling like a school girl
EY

Personal 2 Years past; The New Moon and Human Design

Wednesday 8:05pm 30April14

I was going to have a nap on the weekend and had the television turned on to Much More Music, Thank God they play music videos again. I'm lying in bed just about to drop off to snoozeland and I hear this beautiful voice. He made me sit up, put my glasses back on so I could read the TV to find out who he was. So I've been killing Sam Smith's song, Stay with me. I don't hear new music in any big way anymore because I don't have a radio. I don't do the same kind of music research that I did as a kid. If I hear a song I like in a movie, I'll wait for the credits to find out what it's called and who sings it. But that's about it.

I love the melancholy feel to it. I love to sit and listen to a song on repeat for hours sometimes days. Sometimes I'll get to the 4th play of the same song and it will make me cry. I'm re-framing calling myself someone who suffers from depression to me being a melancholy person. One of the gates in my Human Design chart points out that I have high highs and low lows. In one of the reports it says that I shouldn't call my melancholy feelings depression. That I should use those feelings to work on my art. Hmm! What a thought.

Depression means crawling into bed and hiding from the world and possibly medication if my doctor has any say in the matter. Which he never did. But looking at my cycles as melancholy and using that to go deep and be creative. I really like that idea and change of focus.

I got my Numerology personal profile from Christine Delorey that I've begun wading through and it's reminded me of all that work I did going back over my previous personal years and recording certain events.

So yesterday I looked over my previous personal 2 years. I don't have much written for 1987 but 1996 had some interesting tidbits. In 1996 I met my My friend Bee from Australia when he was performing here in Toronto. During that time he said when he went back to Australia to settle that he wanted me to come and visit. And this year in my personal 2 year I went to visit him in his home in Australia. In 1996 I was seeing 'Bryan' who I mentioned in my previous post. It becomes even more ironic that I told that anecdote to my friend and linked it to this current guy now finding out that they are both in my personal 2 year. The lessons that repeat and repeat until we learn them!

In 1996 a relative who never recognized me came to visit me after the death of his wife and fully recognized me. I left working with children (which had been a lifetime dream) because I didn't feel my work was appreciated (from the co-workers and supervisors stand point) and moved into working in the performing arts where I met Bee from Australia. I had some financial problems from that transition and used the Creating Money book (by Sanaya Roman) and ended earning more money than I'd ever prior to that. By the time my mom passed away in 1996 at least my finances were in order because I was rolling into 1997 an emotional mess

In 2005 I left working for the life coach and went back to the Performing arts centre full time. But this time around I didn't speak for the entire month. I wasn't happy being there full-time and I just went to work and did my work but I didn't really participate socially. I met Caroline O'Connor, while I worked there, and she gave me a pep talk to end all pep talks, she inspired me and showed me artistic love. I had been feeling so disheartened by the lack of appreciation for my work and unsure of a direction. The next month, I got back to my current day job, this time permanent full-time after having worked it on contract twice for two maternity leaves.

So it seems part of the focus for me in a 2 year is finances, I made a budget for this new moon.
Bryan type men with the games and manipulations
Leaving places and people where I don't feel appreciated
The book Creating Money
And lifetime dreams.

April Kent talks about the Taurus New Moon Cycle. It was Tuesday April 29th. You still have time to make your new moon goals.

She says, "Pay attention to your feelings and interactions about money, property, your body; they are reminding you of the need to enjoy, reuse, and take care of the things you own....You need to slow down just now and take stock of where you're at"

In April Kent's report she tells you what to initiate : The waxing phases of the Taurus New Moon (up to the full moon) cycle are a good time to launch projects or set intentions related to:
1 - Financial Security
2 - Taking care of what you own and
3 - Enjoying your life more.

Happy New Moon!

EY

The Human Design

Monday 14April4



It's so funny how life works out sometimes.
On April 1st I was sitting realizing that this was the first year that I hadn't gotten a psychic reading. Every year for I don't know how many years, my girlfriends and I have gone for psychic reading. Usually around my birthday. Of course I was in Australia this year for my birthday.

I was having the little conversation in my head, asking myself if it was too much to ask to have a reading, given all the money I already put out for my Australian birthday. LOL! I decided against the psychic reading and paid instead for a numerology profile from Christine Delorey. I love her work so much and I had actually wanted to buy it in my One Personal Year last year but I was saving up for Australia. It will be a few more weeks before I receive that because Christine does all her work personally, she doesn't use software.

Then I'm reading the newsletter from Astrologer Dawn (Dawn Falbe) and in it she always has some great words of wisdom and ideas on how to deal with the current energies. I read everything in her newsletter except the stuff about The Human Design. Specifically because it was linked to getting a chart and reading done by ReGina Concotelli and I wasn't interested. I always like to highlight any questions that she has in her newsletter and possibilities for my focus. Absolutely every one who wrote about April's energies was saying stuff about big energy, big movement, make your intentions etc. Something kept pulling me back to her section on the Human Design. "I'm not interested, I'm not interested"

I finally googled it to see what I could find on it for free. I was able to get my chart done for free through New Sunware. Through them I found out that my type is a Projector; My Profile is 6/2 Role model/ hermit; my strategy is to wait for the invitation. I googled as much information as I could find on those to find out what the heck it all meant. And well, you know how it goes, I ordered a reading from Regina.


Holy Cow! The things about me that she zeroed in on! She gave me 4 questions to ask, pay attention to. The biggest point for me was/is about me not being recognized for all that I do. It's been a huge issue at work and it was making me madder and madder until I was ready to throw up my hands and just say fuck it! In major life events - accepting jobs/ career , relationships/ partnerships/ friendships, place to live - they only work out when I am invited into them. And I use my intuition and how I feel emotionally to know whether or not it's the right invitation for me. True success is in selecting the right people to have in my life, people who recognize and appreciate me. That bit of information really blew things wide open for me.

Especially when it comes to work. I've felt for years that no matter what I do there is always an excuse as to why that wasn't a big deal. Talk about banging your head against the wall.
It's funny too that one of the things I was telling a friend last year after I'd gone to Bermuda about my girlfriend who lives there was that she is one of the few people who has always "seen" me. She's always appreciated the things that I have to offer as a friend.

In the Human Design Foundation Session that I had with ReGina, I received the chart; a print out of my prime gifts; a 30 minute recorded message of Regina interpreting my chart and a follow up Skype session where Regina answered all the questions I had about my chart and my type and the recording etc. Our Skype session ran just under 45 minutes.

So needless to say I've stopped pushing so hard to be heard at work. Stopped trying to prove that what I have to say is the right course of action, because it falls on deaf ears anyway. My boss never gave me the invitation. And the push, my push was draining me to the extremes. What a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

And men! It's not up to me to pursue. It's for me to wait for the invitation, the right invitation that feels emotionally like I am being recognized and appreciated for who I am. It's fascinating work and it's only scratching the surface.

It's funny because some of the stuff I was slowly starting to learn for myself by huge trial and error, mind you, but this session really gave me food for thought and strategies to test.

Since my session with ReGina, In work meetings I've been quiet and just sit back and listen and observe. I do see the people who do invite my opinions and my knowledge for work I've done for close to 14 years and who listen when I speak. Listen in a way that I know they value what I have to say. And with men, there have been 3 new men in my life lately and I've started to use this and have seen things so clearly and backed out safely before I got entangled in the same old dramas or worse.

Look into getting your free chart done. And if you do go with Regina for an interpretation, the $150 is worth it in the knowledge you receive about yourself, tell her that you learned about her from me Shelley Domingue.

Regina's Align Your Design web site

Another thing Regina mentioned was that I am in my Chiron Return. I know I have a couple readers who have or will be turning 50 this year. This period is a time for us to find our authentic selves and design our lives to live authentically in every facet. To heal our old wounds.
Chiron was last in Pisces March 27, 1960 - August 19, 1960
January 21st 1961 - March 31st, 1968
October 19th, 1968 - January 30th, 1969

EY

Are you Trading Your Life for What You Love to Do?

Work frustrations come and go in cycles. The last couple of days have been hard ones for some reason. Whenever the really hard days happen I get hit with a brainwave to help me cope through it. Today's brainwave was to look for something inspiring to focus on instead of the things that aggravate me. I've decided I'm going to do that everyday from now on.

Today's was from John Assaraf:

Are you trading your life for what you love to do? Who you love to be with? Are you asking the big questions like who do I want to become? What do I want to experience, give, share and be? Powerful questions will give you powerful answers. Decide today to go after the biggest goals you can imagine and trade your life for the biggest, fullest, most amazing expression possible of yourself! You have it in you or you wouldn't have the thoughts about it!

Are you trading your life doing what you love? Are you asking yourself powerful questions like What will it take for me to be fulfilled? Happy? in love, Passionate? What are the biggest goals I want to achieve and what do I want to experience, do, give, be and become? These are powerful questions worthy of finding the answers to and trading your life in pursuit of making them a reality.

In answer to those questions I've unplugged my television for the rest of the month of August to start. I'm playing with the experiment of seeing how much I can get done in my spare time. It's so easy to turn on the television when I get home and then it stays on. It's not like there's much in the way of 'Quality Programming" that feeds my mind. So I'm starting there.

And I'm working out. Most of the work frustrations will be less irritating with a regular working out and burning off some steam. Truth be told, I've got some serious work out gear in my place. I could do some circuit training. heh! But seriously.

And another article that I posted on my Facebook wall today, Are You as Busy as You think? by Laura Vanderkam had information that I've seen recently and now I know it comes from that article.

Here's the quote:

Change your language. Instead of saying "I don't have time" try saying "it's not a priority," and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: "I'm not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it's not a priority." "I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority." If these phrases don't sit well, that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently.

What is a priority to me?
It's certainly not being focused on the amount of people who don't do their jobs and affect my job negatively. That drama is exhausting and I don't have the same energy level I did in my 20's and 30's for that. So as they help to polish me into the next phase of who I want to become, I set my priorities on writing, something I've always loved and used to put on the back burner for some reason or another.

As part of this priority, I stuck my neck out a little more and told some more friends about the page I have on Facebook. The page most of my friends don't know I have. So I gained another 11 or 12 more people who may take the time to read an entry or two. So welcome to you all if you're reading what I'm writing. Back in my early days of blogging when nobody knew I was doing this I would swear a lot but I've managed to curb the cussing over the last couple years. I try to label my entries so if something interests you click on the label and you'll probably find a few more entries in that vein.

And as always, Thank you to the friends who have been following me since I started my facebook page over a year ago - my Plurk Buddies; the MNINBers, who I virtually met through the platform challenge (April 2012); the friends who have my phone number (and know what my laugh sounds like) and friends like Sarah and Christine who I've followed for years because they inspire me. I'm grateful for your ever present support.

EY

2013 - Personal 1 Year

2013 brings me into a Personal 1 Year and a new 10 year cycle. It's a big time to set my focus for what I want within these ten years and what I want to change.

My biggest focus is to live in gratitude. I've listened to so many people complain about what they don't have, what they thought they'd have, what they didn't receive, what they expected, what other people have... It just stops the flow of everything. Happiness, more good in your life, everything. When we're focused on all that we think we don't have we can't be happy for others when they receive their good. It falls into abundance that there's enough for everyone.

I feel like I've done more emotional work in the last 10 year cycle then any other time of my life. I took a deep hard look at the cycles in my life that have repeated themselves and repeated themselves some more. I feel like I've genuinely worked through major issues. I'm calling it a bit of a heroes journey. lol. Might as well make it big in my mind. It is actually big.

I'm feeling like this 10 years will be more sociable. I needed the solitary before. I now know how to seek the solitary without guilt, so I can be more sociable. I feel more optimistic. I feel like I've shaken off the serious demons. I am responsible for myself, my dreams, my joy.

I find I've been looking at the disagreeable people in my life with a different perspective. In the midst of steering clear of their drama I'm also seeing them as tortured people. This one person who, even in the New Year, continues to hold a grudge against me but that's not enough. He goes out of his way to try to cause grief in my life. I got his number. He doesn't affect me but I feel sorry that he still doesn't see that you can waste your life trying to get back at people. We can be so stubborn. We can waste our time. We can torture ourselves needlessly. Part of it is we're too scared to do the work. That's not my cross to bear. I don't need to heal him, guide him, lead him. He is not my responsibility.

If I watch any reality shows, there are two that I will catch. Hoarders, because I can't make it through 15 minutes without getting up and cleaning. lol.

And Intervention. I have a fascination with Intervention. I have a fascination with addiction and the torture that sends people in the direction of their addictions. There's usually something, some upset that precipitates the addiction. I've been through some of the things that some of those people have gone through. Grew up watching adults with addiction, was a witness to domestic violence. I realize that I could be one of those addicted people on intervention if I didn't handle my demons in writing. Us humans, we can be such a tortured lot.

We have to work through our torture, our demons, otherwise they have all sorts of unknown powers over us. I want my power. I want to focus on my power in these 10 years and beyond.

2012 was an awesome year for me, when I look back at the year as a whole. There were a couple of low points but that's life. Going back to my old homes from my childhood really provided a real shift in my mind for me. I felt less jinxed and more possibilities. I feel like I worked through some serious stuff and I was rewarded for it and the benefits in the coming years are unimaginable.

Ha! I think I just finally grew up! It was bound to happen.

EY

Enjoying the Quiet

I haven't had much to say over the last couple months. I feel like I'm plugged into a unit recharging myself. I've been mostly okay with it thinking, if you don't got it, you don't got it. I do have to keep reminding myself that it's part of the cycle of living. We go through quiet moments and it's okay to simply exist in the quiet.

Things have been great at my day job. Great in the way that staying and fighting the good fight and witnessing the changes in committing to stay rather than run away. All through my life I've been the person to move on. I think it's a symptom of having moved a lot as a kid. No problem was ever too big to walk away from. Or, if I had a problem it was no big deal because we'd probably be moving soon and I wouldn't have to face the problem anymore. It's not easy to speak your mind every single day at every opportunity when people misunderstand us. My worry was always that I would come across as the angry Black woman. I know if I'm just seen as the angry Black woman then no one will ever 'HEAR' what I'm saying.

I stayed even with the worry. I stayed and consistently spoke my mind. I stayed and things have become so good for me in my position, relationships have surpassed what I could ever believe they could have become. I stayed and this current state of contentment has made me quiet. Last week I was able to move into the realization that I don't have to fight anymore. People are listening to me. People are valuing the work that I do. So now that I don't have to be on hyper alert what shall I do?

I've been contemplating my personal 9 year and what past junk I can get rid of, heal myself from. Behaviours and mind sets that have served me well in the past but are no longer needed, like my nature to run away. I remember a friend Jordan saying to me years ago that we often carry survival techniques with us that served us well when we were in crisis but can sabotage our lives when we are no longer in crisis. Those words have always stayed with me in a profound way.

It is astounding to me to have witnessed someone who didn't believe a word I said to seeing that person value my opinion and ideas. That has been a truly powerful experience and lesson for me. And so I'm still in my quiet. I am deep breathing, meditative breathing, into my quiet. I am listening to what my silence has to say to me. What other powers might I have if I stick to one goal? What other survival techniques can I transform?

I've been quietly unearthing my buried treasure. I've been thinking about the light, my light, that I have to offer. It's a little flickering candle at the moment. I've been nurturing it and very mindful of those who would blow on it with insensitivity. I've been acknowledging my fragility, that's the part I never admit to. I like to scare people out of affecting my fragility. I scare people by being the elephant trampling everything in her path. I scare people by being the deadly Mother bear who runs at danger with hysterical fear protecting her baby cub.

Now that I know how to do that, use those survival techniques to protect my fragility, my little flickering candle, how do I learn how to share myself with openness? How do I bring the self protective side and the fragile side out together? That is my goal to work on in my Personal 1 year in 2013.

July 9 Year - Breaking Through

We eat too much, drink too much, smoke too much and whatever too much because we're not always in touch with what we're really feeling.

I've been standing in quicksand this month. Stuck and not able to move forward despite knowing what I want to do and even knowing the steps I can take to do it. I have to admit it's been bugging me. Shit! I'm always doing this work, always looking within, always looking at ways to move past all the garbage I've lived through, the hurts, the beat downs etc. I'm always looking at the ways that I've played a part in all of it. Quite frankly I've been sick of it.

I've tried to adhere to Christine Delorey's advice to "Slow down, stop racing, and simply Be." Well that part has been easy if you put it in a being lazy perspective because, to me, I've just been lazy. On a more enlightened plane, I've been waiting for some answer for a question I haven't asked yet. Yes.

It's half way through the month and Christine always mentions to re-read the forecast for the month to find deeper meaning. Two things stood out for me yesterday when I re-read my forecast. The past reappearing and some secret that will surface. I kept asking what was showing up now that was like a repeat of my past. And what possible secret could there be left? I've dug through all the secrets.

It's a good thing that I believe in Christine's work because this month's forecast was a pain in my ass. ha-ha!

It says,

There is a strangeness about this cycle and you may be unsure of what your next move should be. You want to do something, but the feeling persists that whatever you do may not work the way you want, and may be a waste of your time and energy.

I have been weaving in and out of sureness and unsureness of indeed what my next move is. How do I keep motivated with my writing, work my two jobs and have a social life. It's summer for crying out loud, I can be disciplined in the winter months when I'm happy not to leave the house.

This fear of inadequacy is being triggered by the voice of guilt telling you that you must constantly be doing something – and that doing nothing and getting nowhere in this human ‘race’ is unacceptable. Stop judging yourself by these outdated standards. Slow down. Stop doing, stop racing, and simply BE. Accept the uncertainty of it all and know that no matter how much pressure you are under, the situation will change in due course.

First thought, "I don't know if I feel inadequate" and mid month, "okay maybe I do feel inadequate." But at least there is a positive that the situation will change in due course. More waiting but what the heck am I waiting for? Why can't I just plow through?

Be aware of how past actions have led to your present situation. You are likely to be more ‘alone’ than usual and, if not, then it is up to you to take some private time and space for yourself. You have some very important thinking, feeling, and healing to do. The question is, “What do I really want?”, which can only be answered by another question: “What do I really feel?”

I keep looking at my past actions but am coming up blank. I look at what I call my laziness. Whenever I say I'm lazy to others they remind me of all that I actually do that proves that I'm not lazy. But I always feel like I can do better. Last year I realized that what stops me a lot is that I think 'that could have been done better' about everything. It's a level of perfectionism that buries me.

I have been more alone than usual and that I've been mostly fine with. I keep telling myself that I'm alone because I need to be, if I didn't need to be I wouldn't be alone. But how can I use this alone time wisely. How can I do it better? ha ha!

And I've been constantly asking myself, What do I really want, What do I really feel? And I haven't always been sure about what feel I'm looking at. What do I really feel about work? What do I really feel about my life? What do I really feel about what I really want to do? Yes, I can drive myself crazy.

The reason the events of July are so confusing or contradictory is because your sense of direction has become muddled. The only way you will be able to see your options, let alone make a decision, is to go inside, back in time, and determine what it was in the past that led you here; to this state of being lost.
In fact, you are likely to find yourself in the past whether you put yourself there or not...
Look for a connection between mistakes you see others making and mistakes you have made yourself, as there could be a futile case of the pot calling the kettle black going on.

What is it from my past that has led me here? I do feel lost. In my 'lostness' in the first half of this month I kept trying to think of the past. What is happening now that 'seems' like the past? I touched on it a couple times in conversations but didn't really realize that that was it. On my walk with my friend I'd mentioned my frustration with some friends about how I feel like they punish me when I don't do things the way they want me to. You know, someone ignores me for awhile so I don't chase after him or her and I feel this distinct punishing energy coming from him or her?

And in the other conversation I was cracking a riff on being Brown Snow. I said that in my childhood I could compare my story to Snow White but since I'm a black woman I couldn't call myself that, I'd have to call myself Brown Snow. It cracked us up. But it did delve into the punishment for just being me idea that has been bugging me.

Secrets from the past may reappear. Deal with them because, in the 9 year, past issues that you don’t deal with usually find a way to deal with you. Either bring a secret into the open, or accept that the matter is unresolved. Then work through the fear or guilt you are holding in as a result. You may find that an issue no longer needs secrecy, but if you stand to hurt yourself or someone else by “coming clean”, ask yourself what would really be gained by making a painful revelation. Perhaps the only person you need to reveal your secret to is you. Or, perhaps someone else’s secret will be revealed to you. Maybe someone will shock you as they reveal how they secretly feel about you.

And that damn secret! I was secretly hoping that the secret was someone revealing to me how he secretly feels about me but then I realized I didn't actually know anyone who I wanted to profess some love for me because you know, exes are exes for a reason. And most of the other men I know are married and the ones that aren't, not so much. Unless Dwayne Johnson (the rock) appeared suddenly and saw me once and was completely dumbstruck by his instant love for me?

The secret about finding the bio-father isn't such a big secret except he doesn't know I've found him.

Okay Christine, you're killing me here!

Last night I walked home from work and as I was, I reminded myself that this alone time is good, it's what's needed otherwise I wouldn't be alone, in the middle of a Beautiful July. That I just need to make better use of this time. I got home and got my writing stuff all organized in one spot to dig into my novel rewrite. I attached my Livescribe pen to my computer to charge. Then promptly started to play Cubis and drink a couple glasses wine. Woo hoo! Better use of my time!

In my dream last night, my mother and I were looking out the window watching these grown men playing. They were helping one man move out and came across hot wheels and proceeded to set up hot wheels tracks and were getting the cars to do flips and stuff. My mother and I were watching them and laughing at how men can be boys.

I woke up at 2:15am. I had the debate about whether I should get up or sleep until 3am. I couldn't decide if that early was really a part of my normal early rising or if I woke up because the fans made me cold and I just needed a sheet to cover me. I tried to fall back to sleep but by 2:30am I knew it was probably my early rising time and I'd get up and do my morning pages. I can always go have a wee nap after yoga.

And my morning pages wrote themselves. My first sentence was, "Is the secret that I am lonely? And from there delved into what I am still grieving about men, about my family and feeling that I've done everything wrong. And I delved deep into what my fears are that are related to the punishing thing that really stops me from being intimate with others, sharing myself (my feelings, my thoughts, my dreams). It's causing me to remain stuck, this feeling that some of the people I trust and love and give to beat me down and don't value me the way I need to be valued. My hurt and fear is the quicksand that is keeping me stuck. Okay, I'll say it, I am scared to have everything that I want, I know I can have it, because I'm scared that the moment I feel good in it, comfortable in it, confident in it, some one I love is going to wipe it all away and it will be lost and how will I ever recover.

There's a lot more in there. My morning pages are three legal size pages after all. And the ironic thing is about that dream this morning. A couple years after my mother passed away a psychic told me 'when you're mother appears in a dream, ask her what she has come to tell you." Man oh man, every time my mother appeared in a dream I'd wake up frustrated because I'd forget to ask the question. It wasn't until I said good-bye to a work friend who had passed away, whose funeral I couldn't attend, as I was falling asleep I wished her well and told her to look for my mother that my mother would help her out on this new plane, that I finally had the dream and asked my mother the question. In that dream, like in the dream this morning, my mother and I were looking out the window watching people and their antics outside.

Some how those two dreams feel like bookends to me right now. And the connection clicked in as I was writing the dream this morning in my pages. I had tears streaming down my face and I was laughing. It wasn't the painful tears of release. It was the happy tears of how powerful our lives are and our value in life. And our connections to EVERYTHING!

And P.S. if the Rock would like to come meet me and profess his undying love for me, I'd still be okay with it.

EY

Do It Now!

What kind of messages has the Universe been giving you lately? Have you been listening for them?

I've been going through at least a week of "Do it Now" messages. Everywhere!
I know what it is too. I'm feeling like I need to make some major changes and the big picture looks so daunting. Of course, I'm too busy looking at the end result, the realization of the goal as opposed to the baby steps that I need to take to get me going on the journey.

I'm feeling such a sense of urgency though, in all the Universe's messages. I'm feeling the sense of urgency and I'm feeling stuck in place all at the same time. But of course, as is normally the case, Christine Delorey's forecast for me for July is giving me suggestions on how to deal.

Slow down. Stop doing. Stop racing, and simply BE. Accept the uncertainty of it all.

And that's exactly what I've been doing tonight. Just sitting and relaxing and writing in my journal and giving myself some space to breathe.

The June portion of Cancer was emotional and moody and crabby. I went through four days where I was really struggling with depression. In a way that I haven't in years. It worried me but I realize my version of cabin fever is depression. I've got to be the Squirrel who plays and works. I've got to find more balance.

For the Canada Day long weekend, I played. I got out and enjoyed the festivities. I walked through a neighbourhood that I would love to live in and caught myself thinking about why I couldn't live in that area then decided that I would simply have a driver and the problem will be solved. lol.

On Sunday, I got freaked out by all the people out in the streets during the gay pride festivities and bee-lined out of the crowd. Heading home, I came upon a group of buskers playing some funky, horn heavy music and ended up hanging out and listening to them for four hours and making a new friend. Another single woman like me, just hanging out, checking out what's going on in the city and happening upon these crazy talented young men. We sat together and cracked each other up and pointed out good looking men and people watched and laughed like we were long lost kin.

And Monday I met up with my walking buddy to walk. We got our sweat on and caught up and laughed and made a couple beer pit stops and six hours went by in a flash and we were hugging our good-byes until the next time.

Balance.

When I had all my neck and shoulder and arm pain, my physical therapist told me that I needed to take more breaks at work. Through our discussions over the months I went to see her, we agreed that the better way for me to do my work for my physical well-being was to stretch out what I was doing. Instead of printing three reports and going to retrieve them all from the printer at once, it's better to print one report, get up and go to the printer, print the next report, get up and go to the printer etc.

I need to do that in every area of my life. Slow down. Stop trying to race through every chore to get everything done. Take a breather. Go out and enjoy the amazing weather and discover what magical things come my way.

I get it now, the urgency isn't simply to do it now. The urgency is to LIVE NOW!

You paying attention to your messages? I hope so. :)

EY

Sun in Cancer and other Astrological Events

I just got the latest New Millennium Being from Guru Rattana yesterday. I decided that I would start to journal around certain dates, things that are going on in my life to add to my Numerology and Personal Years notes that I keep from what I learn from Christine Delorey's forecasts

One of the things I've noticed in the more in depth Astrological forecasts that astrologers will discuss something like a current eclipse being similar to one that occurred in 1993. And asking if you can remember anything from that time and if so, a theme that emerged then may be repeated now but in a different way. If you read my piece on my cycles of personal years and discovering the repeated themes that I've faced, you can see the importance to me, anyway, of keeping track. Whatever I can learn and use. :)

Here are the dates and Astrological Events that will be included in my notes, stuff to focus on, stuff to keep in mind, stuff to look for:

(Of course, if you subscribe to Guru Rattana's New Millennium Being, you'll get far more info and a Kundalini Yoga mantra to practice during the month of Cancer.) I'll do another post with some Cancerian themes to look for during the month.

The message is CHANGE!



JUNE 20 - SUMMER SOLSTICE and Sun moves into Cancer - The electric Gemini energy gives way to softer, more nurturing energy.

JUNE 23 - Ceres the dwarf planet that symbolizes the Great Goddess moves into Gemini. Our alliances and communications are now empowered by feminine expressions as we are less in our head and more in our hearts.



JUNE 24 - First of 7 exact Uranus/Pluto squares between now and 2015. Uranus calls for freedom, reform, innovation, and revolution. Pluto obliges us to look at what is hidden in our subconscious that gets in the way of expressing our authentic soul power. Squares mark major turning points. We are obliged to transform from deep within and to make major changes in our personal and collective lives. You may have noticed that the pressure for transformation is increasing.


JUNE 25 - SATURN goes DIRECT. Notice if you feel like a burden is lifted and that you can finally move forward with the projects that have been held back.



JUNE 27 - Venus goes direct at 7 degrees Gemini More forward movement and now you know what you want.

SATURN (JUNE 25) AND VENUS (JUNE 27) GO DIRECT - going to feel a sense of relief and more energized . Will feel less resistance and be able to finally move forward. It has been a strange year with these long periods of retrograde including the Mars retrograde. So don't be so hard on yourself if you feel like the time has passed and you haven't gotten much done. (June 27 to 12July to feel relief and energized - take action and advantage of the direct movement while it lasts.)a couple weeks and plunged back into retrogrades - take action and advantage of the direct movement while it lasts. After August 7, only the outer planets (Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) will be retrograde, until October 4 when Jupiter goes retrograde in Gemini. We have 2 months (August 7 - October 4) when we can flow with the cosmic tailwinds. These 2 months are going to be the action months of 2012 - plan now.




JUNE 29 - Sun at 8 degrees Cancer opposes Pluto and squares Uranus. Transformation! intensity and force for change.

JULY 3 - MARS enters LIBRA

JULY 3 - CAPRICORN FULL MOON - talk less and feel more.



JULY 13 - Uranus goes RETROGRADE - When an outer or slow moving planet like Uranus changes direction, its presence and influence is intensified for weeks. The 5 months that Uranus is retrograde (until Dec 13 on the Sagittarius New Moon) gives us a chance to identify what programs, beliefs, and cultural conditioning enslave our psyche and to let them go.


JULY 14 - MERCURY goes RETROGRADE - in Leo invites us to pause and identify if we are operating out of our ego or heart.



August 7 - MERCURY goes DIRECT 



JULY 18-19 - CANCER NEW MOON (28 degrees) - Our ability to fearlessly move forward in our life (Capricorn) will be a good way to monitor the progress we have made in dealing with our Cancer issues. Since our inner reality (Cancer) greatly influences our outer reality (Capricorn), our outer life will demonstrate our inner success.



July 18 – 19 - Mars opposing Uranus and squaring Pluto - intensity and force for change. their effects build up and continue through July. the cardinal dynamic is active and may play out in relationship issues. By taking action, you will relieve some of the pressure and feel better. If you want things to happen, know that you are being supported by the planets to co-create what you want.

Hope this info is of interest to you too.

EY

Cycles and Patterns - The Cycles of Years

It was last year that Christine Delorey (creativenumerology.com) mentioned going over my previous personal years and writing down all the events I could remember. I took her advice as just, “Oh that’ll be fun and interesting,” not realizing how informative it would really be. I went back into the 1990’s and made notes. This year I’ve been going back further, all the way to my birth. And by the way, if you were ever considering writing your memoirs, this will be a perfect undertaking.


This year, I’m in a personal 9 Year. I’ve taken her advice a step further and I cut and pasted all my previous 9 years into this year’s notes to see at a quick glance what I can learn from the past that will help me today.
Early on, I seemed to sense what the themes would be or maybe what my focus would be for this year. This year for me, is about clearing out the past – and as I’ve discovered through looking at my previous 9 years – Trusting in the Universe.


In looking back at my previous 9 years, I kept it simple. I asked, What have I done in previous 9 years and I listed all that I can remember.


In previous 9 years, I have had major changes that were originally painful but I was happy with the change in the end. I’ve dated disappointing men - a theme of them who all virtually said the same thing either in actual words or with actions (in 1985, 1994, and 2003!)and they all showed up when I was at my happiest (when I felt good about myself) and they wiped it out! When they were done I’d lost some of my light and it felt like a struggle to get it back.

In 2003 My new male theme was to meet men who were taken but only said so after I started to show interest in them after they’d been trying to get my attention. I’ve met at least one per year (every year) since then.


I realized a lifelong goal in one 9 year (1994).


I had a note in my personal manual that says “Remember 2003 when I left my job and trusted that the money would appear and it did!”


I’ve left major jobs that everyone said I was crazy for leaving (1994, 2003). In 2003, not only did I leave a major job that everyone said I was crazy for leaving but I decided not to look for work. I decided that for once in my life, I was going to Trust the Universe without fear, that the universe would provide for me. And it did. I was out of work most of the year, I lived off my savings, worked one shift a week at my part-time job, and I took a course that was $2500, (a lot of money when you don’t have a job!), and other money appeared. And when I thought that I would need to work soon because I was going to need money for rent, my old boss called me and said, “Hey, you want to come back for a 1 year contract?” I was working a week later. That information is so important for me to know. To help me to relax, because I forgot about that time in the new cycle of personal years running from personal year 1 to this year, my personal year 9.


Teaching in my 9 year what I learned in my previous 9 years:


Also I’ve been telling friends this. Artists who have spoken to me about their sadness for a good thing ending (a great show with great cast and relationships or a full-time music playing gig coming to an end) I’ve told them, ‘You created this good so create more of it.”


A friend who has been looking for an apartment and was in the stressful zone, I said, “write down the qualities of what you want in your new apartment and let the Universe take care of it.” Last report, she told me that her current landlord has given her more time to look for a new place and the places she has been looking at have been more within her interest and what she can afford.


Another friend I was telling about paying off my credit card and how I wrote down as a goal that I would pay it off by June 2012. That I had no way of knowing how it would be paid but just to trust that the Universe would help me, guide me to getting it paid. And it was paid before June 2012.


In 2003, I started that cycle of trust but somewhere along the line I lost my way. That’s why I have a document that I call my Manual of Me where I keep track of stuff. It’s so easy to get off track, to get distracted.


Trust in The Universe
In this personal 9 year, I want to go back to living in that Trust that continues on in each new personal year and not just in Personal 9 years. That is my new goal, I know it works.
EY

My Personal 8 Year

I went through 4 years of complete hell. The more time spent in hell the more I turned to Christine DeLorey’s wisdom. Creative Numerology . Finally at the end of my personal 7 year in 2010 which brought me to my knees, I decided to purchase Christine’s personal year book for my personal 8 year which would be in 2011. Mostly because my personal 8 year was going to move me in a positive direction. One of the things Christine had mentioned to me personally in our Facebook communications was that if I faced down the demons of my 7 year, my personal 8 year would clear out most of the junk and dirt. I had to be brave. The personal 8 year would be more of a solitary year but with a difference.

In 2011, my personal 8 year, I found that it took me a few months, probably three, to shake off the stench of the previous year and the fear of the previous four years. It was interesting, I entered 2011 with the attitude of, “If I have to fight for my rights, my voice, my value, I will burn everything down in my path.” but I also had the trepidation that “more of the same” might be my destiny. You know how when you first get off a motorcycle your legs are still vibrating? Well my everything was still vibrating. I was focused on climbing out of the shit pile but that shit smell was still following me a little.

I’m big on themes and titles and at some point I called 2011 “Solitary with a Purpose.” By the end of 2010 (my 7 year) I declared that the push and pull and abuse of the year was all orchestrated to make me say it... I wasn’t going to be a door mat for anyone anymore. I would try to be nice about it first but since the previous hell years proved time and again that that not every one could hear nice, I’d have to make the decision to speak up for myself in all incidences. ‘It doesn’t matter, things will happen the way they happen, speak up for yourself!’ I promised myself that I would yell it until they heard me. And if certain people still couldn’t hear that, then they had to go. No looking back. I’m done with you, cross the street if you see me. ha-ha!

At some point within 2011, I realized that the Solitary with a purpose theme was to enable me to hear my voice and dream my answers. I’m not big on unsolicited advice because it blocks out my voice and when my voice is blocked I don’t remember the dreams I have at night that actually provide me with the answers that I need.

I started keeping notes of any event that felt pertinent. And now as i look back they will provide me with info for years to come.

In January, I made a decision about a person I had an acrimonious relationship with that not only would I get my act together (Make a plan) but I would move on when I said so (my decision, not his). I wasn’t going to simply run away.

In February, I was ‘walking in anger’ as I called it in my notes. I was confrontational and I was calling it as I saw it. Yes a few people were left in tears, it was a process that was needed. The pendulum swings to extremes before it comes to the middle.

In April, during the Easter Long weekend, I had what I call a Spiritual Awakening that included a complete emotional breakdown/ release. I love the timing of life sometimes. Right on time! The Thursday before Good Friday I watched You Tube videos of elephants specifically a series on Shirley and Jenny. (We can watch TV and be on the computer at my part-time job.) By the time my co-worker came to give me my break, I was brimming with emotion. I tried to tell her about those videos and all that they were teaching me but instead I went into these uncontrollable sobs. The best part of it all was I kept trying to stop the sobbing and I kept trying to talk.

What a scary mess of an ugly crying emotional tornado. The poor kid, she was 19 years old, so adorable and innocent looking AND her name means innocent! She’s watching me meltdown like the wicked witch of the west being doused with water. I kept begging myself to walk away and stop talking so I could get my composure but I had no control over any of it. I couldn’t stop sobbing, I couldn’t stop talking, I couldn’t stop any of it. I finally went to the washroom to clean up the evidence of the ugly crazy cry and then I went outside. I went around the corner so if anyone else who came out on their break they wouldn’t see me or talk to me because I knew that I would lose it again.

I’m standing outside and I look up at the sky and there are these clouds. The shape of the clouds? Six elephant heads looking down at me like a cameo you wear on a necklace. Mother elephants. I started to cry softly and said to the Universe, to God, to All That Is, ‘tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do whatever you tell me.’
I felt the message, “Forgive and move into your light.”
You know that voice inside that whispers only once? It was that voice.
I nodded my head.

Apologizing to my innocent co-worker yet again when I went back, she told me a story of her own crazy cry that she had in front of all of her co-workers and a customer. I held my hand up to my mouth, my eyes wide and whispered “No!”
She says, “yeah, we’re women, we cry!” Wise words from the innocent!

As you may have guessed there were elephants in my dreams that night and when I woke the next morning, my morning pages were filled with what it meant to me to step back into my light. And how I need to forgive myself as much as the other people and situations that I need to forgive. I finished the morning pages in time to watch the only morning show that I watched then, Unscripted. It’s an interview show that only shows the person answering the questions. The person on Good Friday was actress, Dee Wallace of Steven Spielberg’s ET movie fame. UnScripted - Dee Wallace

So here I am listening to Dee Wallace reiterating what I just wrote in my morning pages and she gives me a better affirmation, “I want to Feel good,” which became my guiding light from there on. Instead of speaking up in anger to people, I was telling them, “You’re a worth while human being and you deserve honesty. I want to feel good so I cannot have you in my life anymore. “ Imaginez – Vous? As my mother used to say.

I could have used all of the accusations and said screw off but instead I truly felt the gift in forgiving the past and moving on in a way that we could both feel good about. I want to feel good so I won’t be mean to you. And I want to feel good so I’m cutting you free from my life and me free from yours.

Elephants! I could re-hash all the reasons why I’m moving on, but it doesn’t matter, what will make me feel good is moving forward. I wish you the best and I hope that you too can find what makes you feel good. I also bought Dee Wallace’s book Bright Light, simply because I couldn’t’ get my hands on Conscious Creation. Having since read both books, I actually prefer Bright Light.

In July I had the only major angry out burst of the year. In my notes, I call it an Emotional Detox. It was with the person I’d had the acrimonious relationship with for the past few years. In retrospect, I think he needed to see me reach my limit.

Four days later, when we had an opportunity to talk with calmer heads (my calmer head, he never lost it), we had a heart to heart that transformed our relationship. We had a heart to heart where I fully understood what he was going through and my compassion was ignited. We had a heart to heart and everything that went before was forgiven and absolved.

In my personal 8 year, I learned that miracles happen. That I don’t always have to walk away which has been my M.O. throughout my life. That I can feel good and let go of people who I’ve outgrown. And when I’ve tried every angle, I can lose my cool and transform everything.

EY

The Women I Follow

Your Personal Year

I’ve been chatting with friends lately about knowing your personal year and getting in depth with looking at your patterns in life. I’m completely fascinated with cycles and patterns in life.

I’ve always called my bouts with depression cycles of downtime that are healthy when they are simply a month and problematic when they last over a year. Knowing my personal year and then ultimately looking over years of personal years has helped me to see patterns, cycles and themes in my life.

I’ve been following Christine Delorey’s work since at least 2006. On her websites she provides so much free information like your personal year forecast, plus monthly and weekly ones as well. Check her out, read her work and once you see how accurate her work is, buy her work. That’s how I end up supporting people, by the way. It’s through a person’s free work that ultimately enables me to trust and then happily pay for all that they’ve given. I trust Christine, she has helped me to discover so much.

Truly if you want to gain powerful insights into yourself and your life, run over to her website and find out what your numbers are.

I follow other women: Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone and Guru Rattana’s New Millennium Being. Susan Miller’s monthly forecast is best for me to know specific transits, like the new moon, full moon etc. Guru Rattana helped me to look at the signs we are in, we’re currently in Gemini, and create a focus pertaining to that signs qualities. Plus she got me interested in Kundalini Yoga as a practice that fits more with my personality.

I’ve always believed that yoga had a spiritual focus which included meditation, and chanting as well as the physical aspect. Kundalini Yoga fits with my belief.

Like my relationships, I don’t jump into anything quickly. I’ve read all of the women for years before I purchased their product and when I did, I felt I had no choice because I believed in their work. I purchased Christine’s book Life Cycles several years ago and I continue to purchase it as gifts or at the least recommend it as a “must buy.”

Christine DeLorey's wordpress - Creative Numerology
Christine DeLorey's Creative Numerology.com
Susan Miller's Astrology Zone
Guru Rattana's New Millennium Being

EY

Theme of Bad Moods?

Life is good so why am I so cranky?

The theme this week seems to involve me going into a bad mood then pulling myself back out it again.
Sometimes it’s stupid little things that bug me, like an uncalled for remark. Other times it’s bigger things like cleaning up other people’s messes as if I made them myself.

But the key to staying in a bad mood or getting out of it lies in my thinking.

I stay in the bad mood when I go down the road of thoughts such as, “Well, that isn’t fair, she should have done such and such;” or “How is this my problem?” or “I’m so tired of blah, blah, blah...” ha-ha! And the list goes on.
Everything is about control isn’t it? If things could simply be the way I think they should be, I’d be happy, wouldn’t I? Or would I? Probably not...

Life has been great after 4 years of soul crushing beat downs. I want to feel good and enjoy my great life now, while I’m in it. I know, for me, that I need to look at the stuff that I do appreciate in my life. There are always things to appreciate.

Trying to be in control will make us crazy. When I still had a television, I used to love watching ‘Hoarders’ because 1 – it always motivated me to go through my clutter and chuck it and 2 – it really made me see how crazy we can make ourselves in our need to be in control. It’s like an addiction. Actually, I think it is an addiction.
Back in April 2012 I wrote this in my journal, The “trying to change what is” addiction. April 2010 - All addictions start as a way to try to control what you can control in order to compensate for what you cannot control. But what you can control becomes out of control.
- Trying to change the system, change other people’s behaviour, change the weather. In our frustration that nothing has changed we hoard, smoke, drink and drug too much, we self-medicate in some way.
- Accept what is – accepting yourself as you are – accepting others as they are.
- The more I focus on what I don’t want the more of “don’t want” I attract.
- Don’t think of what I can’t have, create what I want
- What do I want? In this minute, for this day, for my job, for my life, for my relationships
- In silence – I can find my questions and my answers

I have a manual for myself of reminders of important thoughts I’ve had. It is filled with epiphanies like the addiction to control. It has spiritual dreams I’ve had; info on my power (totem) animals, cycles in my personal years in Numerology , personal manifestoes, and notes from readings that I’ve received. My thoughts are like a skip on a record {vinyl, of course :)}sometimes. I can get stuck in a thought instead of looking at a full experience. Stuck in the skip instead of enjoying the full song.
In the rush of life , in stress and overwhelm, it is so easy to get off track and stuck in unproductive thoughts. I’ll try anything to keep myself moving back to my center.

Julia Cameron, in Walking in This World, mentions creating a first aid kit for our moods. You know, a box that we fill with the stuff that will improve our moods, change our thinking, get us out of the funk. In my box would be pictures of my cats; recordings of songs by Pharaoh Sanders, “High Life”; Earth, Wind & Fire, “Turn it into Something Good”; Sounds of Blackness, “I’m Going all the Way”; and their full album, “The Evolution of Gospel.” And a multitude of other songs from various artists. What would you put in your box?

EY