Tuesday 5:11pm 26Sept06
When the world is Topsy turvy an artist should still do their art, a writer should still write. Especially then.
When my mother died in 1996, through the worst part of my grief and grieving process, I kept a journal. I started from the beginning, when I'd woken up that morning and wasn't feeling well. Felt like I could throw up, maybe I could have a fever, maybe I was coming down with a cold. I didn't know what was wrong except that I wasn't feeling right. Lying in bed, trying to decide how I could call in sick at the Science Centre knowing full well that it was the opening day for the Omnimax theatre and no one could call in sick, my phone rang. My call display said Mom and her phone number. And in my childish, I feel sick voice, I said, "it's mommy!" before i answered the phone with a Hello.
A strange man's voice asked if I was Shelley and told me that he was Dave's brother (my mom's boyfriend) and told me he had some bad news. I kept thinking, "just tell me what hospital she's in."
Instead he told me that she was dead. No one in my family had enough guts to make the call so I had to hear it from a complete stranger. Needless to say I had the reason to call in sick at the Science Centre. I wasn't sick, my mother was dead.
My mother was dead.
I've been reading the War of Art and the differences between a professional and an amateur. And surprisingly enough it's not about the money. It's not about being published or how many times you've been published. It's about whether you show up every day come rain or shine, fever or happiness, falling in love or getting fired. No matter what's going on, it's showing up to do what you have to do.
So I made the commitment last week, that I would be an apprentice first. The apprenticeship is my ten year goal. No thoughts of publication but to honestly, wholeheartedly learn my craft, practicing, reading, studying. And in ten years time work toward the next goal - something tangible. The thing about commitment is sometimes that commitment is going to be tested. It's almost as if the cosmos or God or something is asking is this a true commitment? Prove it!
We were never guaranteed Happiness. We were never guaranteed success. We were never guaranteed that anything would be easy. The only thing we're pretty much guaranteed is work, pain and death. Today there was that noticeable balance. That balance between the yucky stuff that stressed me out that my obsessive thinking focused on for far too long and then there was the magical appearances by three men that either snapped me out of it, made me feel warm and fuzzy or just plain made me laugh. It's almost as if God was asking me, "so which one are you going to choose to focus on? Will you focus on the diabolical or the inspirational?"
And in my writing I have to ask, "what do I want to focus on? Will I focus on the stress, my fatigue and the pain or will I focus on what it is I really want to do?" Knowing full well that I'll have to ask the same question again tomorrow.
Ant and I had lunch again today and it was kind of funny because we were both in similar types of moods. I'm discovering that we are actually similar types of people. Except he's with a more calmer edge than I am. We were in similar types of moods, partially stressed, wanting to be present to each other, for each other.
He said, "I'm the listening Ant today, I'm not the talking Ant."
And I said, "As am I. I don't want to rant. I've ranted enough about this. Besides we don't spend nearly enough time together that I'm going to waste it on ranting. I just want to laugh."
And we did the laugh dance.
He cracked a comment, I laughed. I cracked a comment to outdo his comment and so it went for our whole lunch.
We got away from serious and diabolical and stressful and made a connection.
Now, I'm going to go and work on my commitment.
EY
26 September 2006
21 September 2006
The General
Thursday 6:45pm 21Sept06
I got an email today from the General. He is the husband of a woman that I became friends with when I worked for the Life Coach. The General is an older man (at least half a dozen years older than me) with a child's heart. His wife had told me about his dreams and if they worked they'd be rich. I admired the General because he often puts on this Calvary costume and actually goes out in the streets with it on. When he's in costume, he is the General.
How many adults do you know that have the guts, the self assuredness and whatever else they'd need to do that?
The General is the most enthusiastic person I've ever met. He wholeheartedly believes in his dreams. He knows that it's just a matter of time before his dreams become reality.
In his email he told me that he and his wife are moving out to LA. His dream has hit pay dirt. Because of it, they will also be setting up a development company for Canadian talent and entrepreneurs.
You've gotta believe and keep doing whatever it takes to get out there. That's a message to me.
EY
I got an email today from the General. He is the husband of a woman that I became friends with when I worked for the Life Coach. The General is an older man (at least half a dozen years older than me) with a child's heart. His wife had told me about his dreams and if they worked they'd be rich. I admired the General because he often puts on this Calvary costume and actually goes out in the streets with it on. When he's in costume, he is the General.
How many adults do you know that have the guts, the self assuredness and whatever else they'd need to do that?
The General is the most enthusiastic person I've ever met. He wholeheartedly believes in his dreams. He knows that it's just a matter of time before his dreams become reality.
In his email he told me that he and his wife are moving out to LA. His dream has hit pay dirt. Because of it, they will also be setting up a development company for Canadian talent and entrepreneurs.
You've gotta believe and keep doing whatever it takes to get out there. That's a message to me.
EY
15 September 2006
Beyonce
Friday 10:43pm 15Sept06
I went and saw Beyonce perform at Dundas Square this evening. She sounded excellent, she looked amazing and the main thing that struck me was how inspiring she is. When you think about it, she's 25 years old and look at her. She's got some real talent and all that kept reverberating in my mind was, "That's the result of hard work."
Imagine what you would do if you knew at the end of some real hard work for several years without stopping or giving up how accomplished we could all be. I'm going to think about that for myself for a long while.
EY
I went and saw Beyonce perform at Dundas Square this evening. She sounded excellent, she looked amazing and the main thing that struck me was how inspiring she is. When you think about it, she's 25 years old and look at her. She's got some real talent and all that kept reverberating in my mind was, "That's the result of hard work."
Imagine what you would do if you knew at the end of some real hard work for several years without stopping or giving up how accomplished we could all be. I'm going to think about that for myself for a long while.
EY
12 September 2006
Personal Arthritis Regime update
Tuesday 6:12pm 12Sept06
It's about time to stock up on all the concoctions that I've been using. I've reached the tail end of both the Vital Greens and the Nutri Flex. I'll continue with those but won't be doing the black radish juice again, I think. It's just so vile! I'm going to look for tinctures of other herbs like Black Cohosh instead.
I'm thinking about doing away with the raw potato juice and just keep up with the raw beet juice and the raw cabbage juice. Since night shade vegetables are on my don't have list and a potato is a night shade albeit we normally eat it cooked, I just want to ax that out and see how that goes.
Beets are such a great flush that probably just doing those would be great and the cabbage doesn't hurt. I had the brain wave to add vegetable stock (home made of course) to my beet and cabbage juice. It makes a big difference. Beet juice is so strong and earthy (read smells and tastes like dirt) that it's not always the easiest for me to get down when you think that I don't even like beets.
While reading up on the Liver cleanse instructions there was mention made to doing it for three months before taking a break from it. So I'll be doing that. That'll bring me close to the end of the year. I'll revisit the liver cleanse again in January or February. I'm contemplating doing a fall cleanse around the 23rd when the season changes. Probably my tried and trusted Sambu cleanse.
I feel like my system is working more like clock work so there have definitely been improvements to my overall well-being.
My foot pain is still pretty regular but not the excruciating crippling pain that I was suffering from that ultimately got me to find out exactly what was wrong and onto this eventual regime. So that's a plus. It's like my feet sometimes need to warm up before I can use them, if that makes sense.
I figure that it will take a few years before I feel substantial healing since this pain has been building for more than 12 years. I'm fine with that. I'd love it if it were totally gone once and for all but that's the attitude that stops us from following through on a program. By the time I reach substantial healing I'm sure I will forget what it was like to eat all the stuff that I ate with no concern about how it might affect my body. It will be so long out of my system that I won't miss it. Imagine that!
I'm noticing since the weather got cooler that I'm freezing so I need to find ways to add warmth to my day. More soups and warming spices like cayenne pepper and ginger. I need to shift my eating a bit by starting with the more warming foods and drinking more of the juices later on in the day. Any one that knows me knows that I wear layers in the summer, so I'm a pretty large cold wimp. I think I'm already wearing way too many layers given it's barely the Fall and what the heck will I have left to put on in the winter?
I still need to focus more on the external treatments for my feet like the castor oil packs and the foot soaks. I've been pretty bad about that. The Castor Oil is damn messy. And I have to sit still long enough for the foot soaks. Plus I'd like to start getting regular reflexology massages. But the cashish can only take so much , I have to save a little money and pay those regular bills too. sigh!
So in short, Better energy level, overall system improvements (regular elimination), lost 12 lbs so far, less of the excruciating pain, clear expectation that this will take a few years, and need to rearrange when I eat what I do eat to give me more warmth. Either that or I'll need to wear plug in heating clothes or something. Could you imagine? Has anyone invented that yet?
EY
It's about time to stock up on all the concoctions that I've been using. I've reached the tail end of both the Vital Greens and the Nutri Flex. I'll continue with those but won't be doing the black radish juice again, I think. It's just so vile! I'm going to look for tinctures of other herbs like Black Cohosh instead.
I'm thinking about doing away with the raw potato juice and just keep up with the raw beet juice and the raw cabbage juice. Since night shade vegetables are on my don't have list and a potato is a night shade albeit we normally eat it cooked, I just want to ax that out and see how that goes.
Beets are such a great flush that probably just doing those would be great and the cabbage doesn't hurt. I had the brain wave to add vegetable stock (home made of course) to my beet and cabbage juice. It makes a big difference. Beet juice is so strong and earthy (read smells and tastes like dirt) that it's not always the easiest for me to get down when you think that I don't even like beets.
While reading up on the Liver cleanse instructions there was mention made to doing it for three months before taking a break from it. So I'll be doing that. That'll bring me close to the end of the year. I'll revisit the liver cleanse again in January or February. I'm contemplating doing a fall cleanse around the 23rd when the season changes. Probably my tried and trusted Sambu cleanse.
I feel like my system is working more like clock work so there have definitely been improvements to my overall well-being.
My foot pain is still pretty regular but not the excruciating crippling pain that I was suffering from that ultimately got me to find out exactly what was wrong and onto this eventual regime. So that's a plus. It's like my feet sometimes need to warm up before I can use them, if that makes sense.
I figure that it will take a few years before I feel substantial healing since this pain has been building for more than 12 years. I'm fine with that. I'd love it if it were totally gone once and for all but that's the attitude that stops us from following through on a program. By the time I reach substantial healing I'm sure I will forget what it was like to eat all the stuff that I ate with no concern about how it might affect my body. It will be so long out of my system that I won't miss it. Imagine that!
I'm noticing since the weather got cooler that I'm freezing so I need to find ways to add warmth to my day. More soups and warming spices like cayenne pepper and ginger. I need to shift my eating a bit by starting with the more warming foods and drinking more of the juices later on in the day. Any one that knows me knows that I wear layers in the summer, so I'm a pretty large cold wimp. I think I'm already wearing way too many layers given it's barely the Fall and what the heck will I have left to put on in the winter?
I still need to focus more on the external treatments for my feet like the castor oil packs and the foot soaks. I've been pretty bad about that. The Castor Oil is damn messy. And I have to sit still long enough for the foot soaks. Plus I'd like to start getting regular reflexology massages. But the cashish can only take so much , I have to save a little money and pay those regular bills too. sigh!
So in short, Better energy level, overall system improvements (regular elimination), lost 12 lbs so far, less of the excruciating pain, clear expectation that this will take a few years, and need to rearrange when I eat what I do eat to give me more warmth. Either that or I'll need to wear plug in heating clothes or something. Could you imagine? Has anyone invented that yet?
EY
11 September 2006
Undead Television Report - 11Sept06
Monday 8:06pm 11Sept06
Last week, I did this report on the wrong day, it's supposed to be Mondays. I've been a lucky lady in that I only had the two shows or so I said, not realizing that there's a couple more.
Okay so I've been taping Rescue Me and Weeds from Showcase. I've also been taping Prison Break and Vanished off Global. I only added Vanished because it's on after Prison Break. Tonight season two of the Closer starts and can I just say I love Kyra Sedgewick so much in this role it's pathetic? She's almost like a female Columbo with sex appeal.
I didn't watch last week's episode of Prison Break nor Vanished and well, it's Monday again so that'll be 4 hours that I'll have to find somewhere. Oh Yes, ha ha, Six Feet Under started last night. Um, and Inside the Actor's Studio started its new season too yesterday. It was Tim Allen, I taped it.
I still have about ten vids of shows to watch from last season! Out of control. I just recently saw the season finale of American Idol off one of the tapes. Yes, it's that bad. So there is absolutely no reason for me to watch television unless it's on tape. This weekend I flipped around lazily as I nodded back off, not bothering to slip in one of those tapes. So for the most part I'm improved. I'm not watching the television aimlessly night in and night out like I used to. I want to keep reporting in on a weekly basis more for myself than for any one who might read this. The fall season has barely begun and I know how easy it can be to fall off the wagon.
Plus there are still some shows that haven't started yet that I have to watch like: The Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Nip/Tuck, The L Word, Family Guy.
The only new shows I may pick up are Justice (because I like the replay of the murder in the end that shows the audience if the person was innocent or guilty) and Vanished (because I'm already taping it.)
And that's it okay? Don't tell me about some show you're watching that's excellent until after the season is over. Don't say, "Shelley it's such great writing." If Quentin Tarantino is going to direct every episode of CSI this year, don't let me know (that's the only reason why I'd watch). Pretend you know nothing about my television confessions unless we're talking about shows I already watch.
And if you think I'm pathetic, which I am ...
Hmm, I don't know if Bravo is planning on bringing back new episodes of The Writing Life ( the only show I should be watching!)
EY
Last week, I did this report on the wrong day, it's supposed to be Mondays. I've been a lucky lady in that I only had the two shows or so I said, not realizing that there's a couple more.
Okay so I've been taping Rescue Me and Weeds from Showcase. I've also been taping Prison Break and Vanished off Global. I only added Vanished because it's on after Prison Break. Tonight season two of the Closer starts and can I just say I love Kyra Sedgewick so much in this role it's pathetic? She's almost like a female Columbo with sex appeal.
I didn't watch last week's episode of Prison Break nor Vanished and well, it's Monday again so that'll be 4 hours that I'll have to find somewhere. Oh Yes, ha ha, Six Feet Under started last night. Um, and Inside the Actor's Studio started its new season too yesterday. It was Tim Allen, I taped it.
I still have about ten vids of shows to watch from last season! Out of control. I just recently saw the season finale of American Idol off one of the tapes. Yes, it's that bad. So there is absolutely no reason for me to watch television unless it's on tape. This weekend I flipped around lazily as I nodded back off, not bothering to slip in one of those tapes. So for the most part I'm improved. I'm not watching the television aimlessly night in and night out like I used to. I want to keep reporting in on a weekly basis more for myself than for any one who might read this. The fall season has barely begun and I know how easy it can be to fall off the wagon.
Plus there are still some shows that haven't started yet that I have to watch like: The Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Nip/Tuck, The L Word, Family Guy.
The only new shows I may pick up are Justice (because I like the replay of the murder in the end that shows the audience if the person was innocent or guilty) and Vanished (because I'm already taping it.)
And that's it okay? Don't tell me about some show you're watching that's excellent until after the season is over. Don't say, "Shelley it's such great writing." If Quentin Tarantino is going to direct every episode of CSI this year, don't let me know (that's the only reason why I'd watch). Pretend you know nothing about my television confessions unless we're talking about shows I already watch.
And if you think I'm pathetic, which I am ...
Hmm, I don't know if Bravo is planning on bringing back new episodes of The Writing Life ( the only show I should be watching!)
EY
10 September 2006
Accept Who You Are
Sunday 5:55pm 10Sept06
I watched the movie, Jersey Girl, yesterday and the female love interest said to Ben Affleck's character, "Forget what you thought you were and accept who you are."
Sometimes it's hard to get over what you thought you were going to be. When I look at my life, I haven't accomplished most of the things I thought I would 20 years ago. I thought I'd be a successful full-time writer. I thought I'd find the right person by the time I hit 35 years old and we'd marry and have children. We would probably have some struggles but for the most part we'd live a charmed life. I thought I'd be rich and travel and own land. I thought, I thought, I thought ...
I've lived in the same apartment for 17 years. Many people have criticized this apartment because they say, I should live some where better. I live like a College student. Although I do write everyday, I'm still not published. I'll probably never marry. And there's more...
But in accepting who I am I see that I love having my own place, my sanctuary. I don't need to live in opulence to feel happy. There have been artists with far superior talent to mine who never realized their artistic dreams and they still produced. I value love far more than people who have to have a relationship. I've learned much more through the hardships rather than if I'd received everything I wanted on the schedule that I'd planned. Given my beginnings, it's any wonder that I'm here at all and yet I am. I never fully give up when things go wrong, I just start all over again. And like an inventor, I see that my mistakes and failures are steps toward learning how to live and enjoy my life each day instead of some future date.
It may not sound like much but it works for me.
EY
I watched the movie, Jersey Girl, yesterday and the female love interest said to Ben Affleck's character, "Forget what you thought you were and accept who you are."
Sometimes it's hard to get over what you thought you were going to be. When I look at my life, I haven't accomplished most of the things I thought I would 20 years ago. I thought I'd be a successful full-time writer. I thought I'd find the right person by the time I hit 35 years old and we'd marry and have children. We would probably have some struggles but for the most part we'd live a charmed life. I thought I'd be rich and travel and own land. I thought, I thought, I thought ...
I've lived in the same apartment for 17 years. Many people have criticized this apartment because they say, I should live some where better. I live like a College student. Although I do write everyday, I'm still not published. I'll probably never marry. And there's more...
But in accepting who I am I see that I love having my own place, my sanctuary. I don't need to live in opulence to feel happy. There have been artists with far superior talent to mine who never realized their artistic dreams and they still produced. I value love far more than people who have to have a relationship. I've learned much more through the hardships rather than if I'd received everything I wanted on the schedule that I'd planned. Given my beginnings, it's any wonder that I'm here at all and yet I am. I never fully give up when things go wrong, I just start all over again. And like an inventor, I see that my mistakes and failures are steps toward learning how to live and enjoy my life each day instead of some future date.
It may not sound like much but it works for me.
EY
Inspirational Article - Reprint
TIPS for Extraordinary Living! Written & Published by Philip E. Humbert, PhD
Inch by Inch, Anything's a Cinch
On a daily basis, most of us wish we could get "just a few more things done." We have this sense that other people are more productive, more focused, more energetic or whatever, and somehow they manage to squeeze more into their 24-hour day than we do.
Personally, I don't think they really do. In fact, I've argued for years that highly successful people tend to do LESS, rather than more. The key is that they do the RIGHT things while other (less successful) people run around doing too many things, including too many unimportant things. This week, I want to talk about three critical steps that can help you become vastly more productive and, as a result, vastly more successful. Sound good? Here we go:
1. De-Clutter Your Life. Our lives tend to be too busy, too stressed and too confusing. To become more successful you must solve this problem. It may be hard or difficult, but there really is no other choice.
If you doubt me on this, take a look at any high achieving, highly successful person of your own choosing. Pick a friend or relative who has built a successful business or quickly moved up the corporate ladder. I think you'll find a variety of "keys" to their success, but one thing you will NOT find is chaos in their lives. I suspect you'll notice they tend to be well-groomed and well-dressed. They tend to be punctual, relaxed, calm and clear in their communications. Typically (though not always) they keep a clean desk, office, and personal environment.
Success and confusion simply do not go together. To achieve more, simplify your life. Resolve personal conflicts, resign from some committees or personal commitments. Take time to de-clutter your desk, office and your life.
2. Daily Discipline. Discipline has a gotten a bad rap, and I often prefer the term "self-direction," but whatever you call it, there is no success without the ability to control your personal impulses. In a world of increasing temptations and distractions, high achievers know what they want to accomplish and they have the ability to stay "on task."
Success people quickly develop a system for planning their days, writing down their top priorities, and delaying (or ignoring) the thousand and one daily temptations to do "something else." They know the "tyranny of the urgent" is very real. The ringing telephone, the "brief" conversations in the hall, that quick errand or lunch with a friend all threaten to interrupt us, and once our productivity and "flow" are interrupted, getting back on task can be difficult.
High achievers work from a schedule. They review their goals and priorities every morning, re-commit to achieving them, and have an attitude of self-discipline about moving forward. So should you.
3. Trust the Magic of Small Steps. Finally, high achievers understand a strange paradox in life, that often small steps can achieve better and longer-lasting results than giant leaps. They understand the fable of the "tortoise and the hare." They know that too often, "haste makes waste." In their eagerness to get things done, they know the value of small steps.
Highly success people know that often the quickest way to wealth is a slow, steady routine of regular savings and investment. They know that building a business requires that each step be taken with care and precision, so they take time to plan, think, and consider their options. They know that "fools rush in where angels fear to tread" and that "Rome wasn't built in a day."
One of my favorite examples is that health and fitness cannot be obtained by one dramatic work-out that leaves us stiff and sore the next morning. Rather, fitness is the result of work-outs that are challenging, fun, effective and repeated daily.
Achieving more in life is actually not "hard." It does, however, require an understanding of basic principles and the discipline to put them into practice. There are lots of tips and tricks that can be useful, but the basics never change. De-clutter your life so you can focus on "first things." Practice personal self-discipline to can take control of your own life. And finally, master the paradox of running life's marathon one small step at a time.
To SUBSCRIBE to TIPS for Extraordinary Living!:
Please visit my website and use the form at the top of each page at:
http://www.philiphumbert.com
Inch by Inch, Anything's a Cinch
On a daily basis, most of us wish we could get "just a few more things done." We have this sense that other people are more productive, more focused, more energetic or whatever, and somehow they manage to squeeze more into their 24-hour day than we do.
Personally, I don't think they really do. In fact, I've argued for years that highly successful people tend to do LESS, rather than more. The key is that they do the RIGHT things while other (less successful) people run around doing too many things, including too many unimportant things. This week, I want to talk about three critical steps that can help you become vastly more productive and, as a result, vastly more successful. Sound good? Here we go:
1. De-Clutter Your Life. Our lives tend to be too busy, too stressed and too confusing. To become more successful you must solve this problem. It may be hard or difficult, but there really is no other choice.
If you doubt me on this, take a look at any high achieving, highly successful person of your own choosing. Pick a friend or relative who has built a successful business or quickly moved up the corporate ladder. I think you'll find a variety of "keys" to their success, but one thing you will NOT find is chaos in their lives. I suspect you'll notice they tend to be well-groomed and well-dressed. They tend to be punctual, relaxed, calm and clear in their communications. Typically (though not always) they keep a clean desk, office, and personal environment.
Success and confusion simply do not go together. To achieve more, simplify your life. Resolve personal conflicts, resign from some committees or personal commitments. Take time to de-clutter your desk, office and your life.
2. Daily Discipline. Discipline has a gotten a bad rap, and I often prefer the term "self-direction," but whatever you call it, there is no success without the ability to control your personal impulses. In a world of increasing temptations and distractions, high achievers know what they want to accomplish and they have the ability to stay "on task."
Success people quickly develop a system for planning their days, writing down their top priorities, and delaying (or ignoring) the thousand and one daily temptations to do "something else." They know the "tyranny of the urgent" is very real. The ringing telephone, the "brief" conversations in the hall, that quick errand or lunch with a friend all threaten to interrupt us, and once our productivity and "flow" are interrupted, getting back on task can be difficult.
High achievers work from a schedule. They review their goals and priorities every morning, re-commit to achieving them, and have an attitude of self-discipline about moving forward. So should you.
3. Trust the Magic of Small Steps. Finally, high achievers understand a strange paradox in life, that often small steps can achieve better and longer-lasting results than giant leaps. They understand the fable of the "tortoise and the hare." They know that too often, "haste makes waste." In their eagerness to get things done, they know the value of small steps.
Highly success people know that often the quickest way to wealth is a slow, steady routine of regular savings and investment. They know that building a business requires that each step be taken with care and precision, so they take time to plan, think, and consider their options. They know that "fools rush in where angels fear to tread" and that "Rome wasn't built in a day."
One of my favorite examples is that health and fitness cannot be obtained by one dramatic work-out that leaves us stiff and sore the next morning. Rather, fitness is the result of work-outs that are challenging, fun, effective and repeated daily.
Achieving more in life is actually not "hard." It does, however, require an understanding of basic principles and the discipline to put them into practice. There are lots of tips and tricks that can be useful, but the basics never change. De-clutter your life so you can focus on "first things." Practice personal self-discipline to can take control of your own life. And finally, master the paradox of running life's marathon one small step at a time.
To SUBSCRIBE to TIPS for Extraordinary Living!:
Please visit my website and use the form at the top of each page at:
http://www.philiphumbert.com
Playful Weekend
Sunday 1:31 pm 10Sept06
I've been enjoying a playful weekend and play sometimes leads to blogging absenteeism. But every body needs a break from the norm, don't they?
I was out enjoying time with three beautiful men. Yes Ladies, sometimes this girl has all the luck! Not too often that I'd get a big head about it but anyway...
My luck began two minutes before my lunch break on Friday when I answered my work phone only because I recognized the phone number and with the full intention of giving the man on the other side a hard time.
"Do you want to meet me in the lobby of the Hotel?" He said teasingly.
"For lunch or for an afternoon delight?" Sometimes I just can't hold back my smart mouth. It's just my character.
Anyhow I had lunch with Ant, which is a perfect nickname for a man who is 6'7". Mustn't have a big nickname when you're a big man. We had some good laughs and even better, "get to know you," discussions.
I, as usual, know so much more personal info about Ant then he knows about me. He was the inspiration of the themes this weekend. (I've mentioned before that sometimes there seems to be themes to my weekends). The themes this weekend were: Making the time; The people you surround yourself with; and doing what you always wanted to do.
What I love about my time shared with Ant is that he really likes my mind and how I think about things. He shows me his appreciation for me and the time we spend together. He said, "I had to get together with you and I kept telling myself, 'make the time, Ant, make the time.'"
I was thrilled that he made the time. We've made plans of things to do together outside of just lunch. Things that I don't normally do. One of our inside reminders to each other is about focusing on your September eleventh person.
During the horror of September 11th, 2001, one of the things that hit me the most was about the people who knew that they were going to die and the last phone call they'd made. Ever since then I've asked myself, "If I lived a September 11th, who would I call to say good bye to and give my last words of love?"
That's an important person.
The first time Ant and I ever had lunch together, in the midst of a very serious discussion of confusing feelings and the like, I'd asked him, who is your September eleventh person. He hadn't hesitated in his answer.
On Friday, in response to his comment about making the time, I said that since my mother died I was always focused on making the time for people that I care about. Why waste time on people who don't make you feel good about yourself, people who only want to hang out with you because they are bored, people who tell you in subtle ways that they don't appreciate you.
It's nice having that surprise date out of the blue, heck, I was going to drink beet juice for lunch and instead I had a great lunch that Ant kept saying, "I feel like I haven't spent enough money on you," about it. I had a great visit with a man that knows how to make a woman feel good about herself by focusing on what is great about her, we made future plans. And hugging a man of 6'7"? Craazy! You have to stand on your tippee toes and stretch your arms real high!
Friday night was my lovely fish boy, "Got any twos?"
It was a beautiful balmy evening and the beer tasted right and he's just so damn beautiful to look at that just looking at him is enough. We had the discussions of the people you surround yourself with, doing what you want to do and making the time. Told you it was the theme. Our relationship gets deeper with each moment we get to spend together. I hooked him up (he's an actor) with my lovely director friend (who is way more deep than I could hope to be) more than a year ago and they have started doing some work together. He praises her for her easy way of dealing with talent and she praises him for being so open to doing what she puts out there in her classes. He and I made plans for this week and for an annual outing that we enjoyed together this summer. That yearly outing will be our thing.
Saturday was my day with Ado. We work together and on his days off he does volunteer work at the Filipino Centre with his wife. There was a street festival and I went to spend the day getting some culture and having a good laughing time. I know I mean something to him because of the way he treats me but something bigger happened. Every time he'd introduce me to someone from the centre they'd say, "Oh yes, I've heard your name before."
When your reputation precedes you before you meet new people, it's heart warming.
My best friend in Montreal told me once about how I could tell a man really cared about me. He said something along the lines that he'll want to do things for me, he'll want to spend time with me. It won't be an obligation, he'll do it because he wants to do it. I'd like to add that the same thing goes with your friends.
Make the time, pay attention to the people you surround yourself with and do what you really want to do.
And think about it, who is your September eleventh person?
EY
I've been enjoying a playful weekend and play sometimes leads to blogging absenteeism. But every body needs a break from the norm, don't they?
I was out enjoying time with three beautiful men. Yes Ladies, sometimes this girl has all the luck! Not too often that I'd get a big head about it but anyway...
My luck began two minutes before my lunch break on Friday when I answered my work phone only because I recognized the phone number and with the full intention of giving the man on the other side a hard time.
"Do you want to meet me in the lobby of the Hotel?" He said teasingly.
"For lunch or for an afternoon delight?" Sometimes I just can't hold back my smart mouth. It's just my character.
Anyhow I had lunch with Ant, which is a perfect nickname for a man who is 6'7". Mustn't have a big nickname when you're a big man. We had some good laughs and even better, "get to know you," discussions.
I, as usual, know so much more personal info about Ant then he knows about me. He was the inspiration of the themes this weekend. (I've mentioned before that sometimes there seems to be themes to my weekends). The themes this weekend were: Making the time; The people you surround yourself with; and doing what you always wanted to do.
What I love about my time shared with Ant is that he really likes my mind and how I think about things. He shows me his appreciation for me and the time we spend together. He said, "I had to get together with you and I kept telling myself, 'make the time, Ant, make the time.'"
I was thrilled that he made the time. We've made plans of things to do together outside of just lunch. Things that I don't normally do. One of our inside reminders to each other is about focusing on your September eleventh person.
During the horror of September 11th, 2001, one of the things that hit me the most was about the people who knew that they were going to die and the last phone call they'd made. Ever since then I've asked myself, "If I lived a September 11th, who would I call to say good bye to and give my last words of love?"
That's an important person.
The first time Ant and I ever had lunch together, in the midst of a very serious discussion of confusing feelings and the like, I'd asked him, who is your September eleventh person. He hadn't hesitated in his answer.
On Friday, in response to his comment about making the time, I said that since my mother died I was always focused on making the time for people that I care about. Why waste time on people who don't make you feel good about yourself, people who only want to hang out with you because they are bored, people who tell you in subtle ways that they don't appreciate you.
It's nice having that surprise date out of the blue, heck, I was going to drink beet juice for lunch and instead I had a great lunch that Ant kept saying, "I feel like I haven't spent enough money on you," about it. I had a great visit with a man that knows how to make a woman feel good about herself by focusing on what is great about her, we made future plans. And hugging a man of 6'7"? Craazy! You have to stand on your tippee toes and stretch your arms real high!
Friday night was my lovely fish boy, "Got any twos?"
It was a beautiful balmy evening and the beer tasted right and he's just so damn beautiful to look at that just looking at him is enough. We had the discussions of the people you surround yourself with, doing what you want to do and making the time. Told you it was the theme. Our relationship gets deeper with each moment we get to spend together. I hooked him up (he's an actor) with my lovely director friend (who is way more deep than I could hope to be) more than a year ago and they have started doing some work together. He praises her for her easy way of dealing with talent and she praises him for being so open to doing what she puts out there in her classes. He and I made plans for this week and for an annual outing that we enjoyed together this summer. That yearly outing will be our thing.
Saturday was my day with Ado. We work together and on his days off he does volunteer work at the Filipino Centre with his wife. There was a street festival and I went to spend the day getting some culture and having a good laughing time. I know I mean something to him because of the way he treats me but something bigger happened. Every time he'd introduce me to someone from the centre they'd say, "Oh yes, I've heard your name before."
When your reputation precedes you before you meet new people, it's heart warming.
My best friend in Montreal told me once about how I could tell a man really cared about me. He said something along the lines that he'll want to do things for me, he'll want to spend time with me. It won't be an obligation, he'll do it because he wants to do it. I'd like to add that the same thing goes with your friends.
Make the time, pay attention to the people you surround yourself with and do what you really want to do.
And think about it, who is your September eleventh person?
EY
07 September 2006
Undead Television Report
Thursday 7:33pm 7Sept06
I realize that I haven't done an undead television report since I got my television back up and running. I'm actually doing well, mind you the fall season hasn't started yet. The only new shows that I watch are Rescue Me and Weeds both on Showcase. I've been taping the shows and watching them later so I can fast forward through the commercials.
I thought last season for Rescue Me was good but this season is out of control. Dennis Leary must be worried that they won't get renewed so he's getting everything in there and it's only been three episodes. Each episode has had me throwing my hand up to my mouth in complete shock. "No he didn't!"
Unbelievable. If all the shows are this good this season, I'm in trouble.
EY
I realize that I haven't done an undead television report since I got my television back up and running. I'm actually doing well, mind you the fall season hasn't started yet. The only new shows that I watch are Rescue Me and Weeds both on Showcase. I've been taping the shows and watching them later so I can fast forward through the commercials.
I thought last season for Rescue Me was good but this season is out of control. Dennis Leary must be worried that they won't get renewed so he's getting everything in there and it's only been three episodes. Each episode has had me throwing my hand up to my mouth in complete shock. "No he didn't!"
Unbelievable. If all the shows are this good this season, I'm in trouble.
EY
06 September 2006
Sabotage Depression - Fear
Wednesday 8:55pm 6Sept06
It was a good timing sort of day. That good timing turned into unexpected enjoyment. When I told my friend about it, I told her in an offhand way as a response to her question. I wasn't going to say anything because somehow I couldn't express the joy and fun that I'd felt. I was almost scared to jinx it. She talked about how great it was for me and it was proof of what I've hoped for. Proof of a future grand gesture I've been silently asking for.
It's funny how I get scared of good things in my life. I want the good but then I'm scared that I'm being teased and the floor is going to fall out from under me. It's as if I can't trust and believe that the good is going to happen for me. It's about my thinking, I know that. It's the same kind of thinking that has caused my depression in the past.
After my lunch time enjoyment, I spent the rest of the day trying not to relive what had happened. I tried not to think about it too strongly. I tried to push it away as if it wasn't a big thing even though it had been to me. In fact during the enjoyable incident I'd slowed down overwhelmed with doubts. "What am I doing here? How could I possibly be enough?"
But I want to trust and believe. If I keep approaching everything with an overwhelming fear how can I expect to have what I want?
I allowed myself to think about what could go wrong... I could get hurt. Then I allowed myself to think about all the things that could be right if I allowed them to be. If I allowed everything to run it's natural course. I also allowed myself to see that I have all the power in my own life. I can decide what I want and follow up if what I want is a part of the package.
Things may or may not work out for me. Those are the choices that we all have. But with a depressive angle I can sabotage what I want and walk away telling myself, "see, I knew this would happen."
Today, at least, I found a way to sabotage my possible depression.
EY
It was a good timing sort of day. That good timing turned into unexpected enjoyment. When I told my friend about it, I told her in an offhand way as a response to her question. I wasn't going to say anything because somehow I couldn't express the joy and fun that I'd felt. I was almost scared to jinx it. She talked about how great it was for me and it was proof of what I've hoped for. Proof of a future grand gesture I've been silently asking for.
It's funny how I get scared of good things in my life. I want the good but then I'm scared that I'm being teased and the floor is going to fall out from under me. It's as if I can't trust and believe that the good is going to happen for me. It's about my thinking, I know that. It's the same kind of thinking that has caused my depression in the past.
After my lunch time enjoyment, I spent the rest of the day trying not to relive what had happened. I tried not to think about it too strongly. I tried to push it away as if it wasn't a big thing even though it had been to me. In fact during the enjoyable incident I'd slowed down overwhelmed with doubts. "What am I doing here? How could I possibly be enough?"
But I want to trust and believe. If I keep approaching everything with an overwhelming fear how can I expect to have what I want?
I allowed myself to think about what could go wrong... I could get hurt. Then I allowed myself to think about all the things that could be right if I allowed them to be. If I allowed everything to run it's natural course. I also allowed myself to see that I have all the power in my own life. I can decide what I want and follow up if what I want is a part of the package.
Things may or may not work out for me. Those are the choices that we all have. But with a depressive angle I can sabotage what I want and walk away telling myself, "see, I knew this would happen."
Today, at least, I found a way to sabotage my possible depression.
EY
05 September 2006
Focus on your goals
Tuesday 7:44pm 5Sept06
I was trolling around on the internet last night. Just looking for I don't know what, inspiration possibly. I found this oracle that you run your mouse over until the cursor turns into a hand. The message was: Direct your energy toward reaching your goals instead of wasting it in anger or resentment.
It felt appropriate for me. Some times I get so focused on the garbage in life and forget to replace my thoughts with the better stuff. When I worked in day care, the majority of my kids swore. They were 10 years old and up. I told them that I didn't want to hear them swear anymore because there was no need for a 10 year old to be using that kind of language. I wanted them to create new words or new ways of swearing. So whenever I got frustrated in front of them I'd say, "Oh rickin rackin schnicken schnacken." It was from a dog in a cartoon that always got into car accidents. Penelope Pitstop was one of the characters. I can't remember the name of the cartoon.
That soon became the new way to swear in the room. It became easy for them to not swear because they had something to replace it with.
Directing my energy toward reaching my goals is exactly the kind of replacement I need. There used to be a time when I worked in retail that I couldn't get frustrated by rude customers or gossipy childish co-workers because I always had the thought foremost in my mind that my purpose is to write. I lost that focus but I'm slowly getting it back again.
Focus on one thing. Focus on a character. Focus on a page of my novel. Whatever it takes to get me through and use my energy wisely.
off to work on that goal...
EY
I was trolling around on the internet last night. Just looking for I don't know what, inspiration possibly. I found this oracle that you run your mouse over until the cursor turns into a hand. The message was: Direct your energy toward reaching your goals instead of wasting it in anger or resentment.
It felt appropriate for me. Some times I get so focused on the garbage in life and forget to replace my thoughts with the better stuff. When I worked in day care, the majority of my kids swore. They were 10 years old and up. I told them that I didn't want to hear them swear anymore because there was no need for a 10 year old to be using that kind of language. I wanted them to create new words or new ways of swearing. So whenever I got frustrated in front of them I'd say, "Oh rickin rackin schnicken schnacken." It was from a dog in a cartoon that always got into car accidents. Penelope Pitstop was one of the characters. I can't remember the name of the cartoon.
That soon became the new way to swear in the room. It became easy for them to not swear because they had something to replace it with.
Directing my energy toward reaching my goals is exactly the kind of replacement I need. There used to be a time when I worked in retail that I couldn't get frustrated by rude customers or gossipy childish co-workers because I always had the thought foremost in my mind that my purpose is to write. I lost that focus but I'm slowly getting it back again.
Focus on one thing. Focus on a character. Focus on a page of my novel. Whatever it takes to get me through and use my energy wisely.
off to work on that goal...
EY
29 August 2006
Nope and a Big Yes.
Tuesday 8:51pm 29Aug06
I blogged about not being a therapist a while back. It was about feeling frustrated that some of my friends had forgotten about me and moved on with newer friends. It was about those same friends that call me in crisis because they know I always have a listening ear and great insights about how to deal.
I'd been feeling hurt about being somewhat deserted. I was upset that friends I'd worked with for years were treating me with an out of sight, out of mind attitude. But I see that there is pain before change. I see that I'm not obligated to say yes to things just because I want to be a good friend. The gem is that I have the time to write that I've been begging for. Plus the newer people in my life don't seem to see me as just a giant ear at their disposal. Not that the old friends are totally out of my life, nor would I want that with most of them, just that there is more of a balance and I'm more able to say no to activities I don't want to participate in.
Also, had it not been for that feeling of desertion, it would have been so much harder to be disciplined about doing this whole being healthy in order to manage my arthritis thing that I've been doing for close to three weeks now. Every thing does have a purpose, it seems.
I caught the tail end of an interview with Canadian Comedian Sean Cullen and after being asked what other talent he liked to have he discussed how he'd worked in a show with all these amazing dancers and how they all wanted to be either singers or actors or something other than what they were. He said, "Enjoy the talent you have and really make it amazing."
That inspired me. I've been blessed with a lot of superficial talent - I can sing, draw, dance and write. If the truth be known I would love to be able to sing like Gladys Knight. To me, her strong, rich, vibrant voice is the voice that I'd want to emulate. Well, I don't sing that well. But it hasn't been my focus. I'm really too much of a chicken to stand up in front of people and sing. Writing is my gig.
Sean's comment makes me want to make my writing talent really amazing. And the singing? I can still do that for mere enjoyment in my living room with the tunes cranking until my next door neighbour knocks on my door asking me to turn it down a little.
EY
I blogged about not being a therapist a while back. It was about feeling frustrated that some of my friends had forgotten about me and moved on with newer friends. It was about those same friends that call me in crisis because they know I always have a listening ear and great insights about how to deal.
I'd been feeling hurt about being somewhat deserted. I was upset that friends I'd worked with for years were treating me with an out of sight, out of mind attitude. But I see that there is pain before change. I see that I'm not obligated to say yes to things just because I want to be a good friend. The gem is that I have the time to write that I've been begging for. Plus the newer people in my life don't seem to see me as just a giant ear at their disposal. Not that the old friends are totally out of my life, nor would I want that with most of them, just that there is more of a balance and I'm more able to say no to activities I don't want to participate in.
Also, had it not been for that feeling of desertion, it would have been so much harder to be disciplined about doing this whole being healthy in order to manage my arthritis thing that I've been doing for close to three weeks now. Every thing does have a purpose, it seems.
I caught the tail end of an interview with Canadian Comedian Sean Cullen and after being asked what other talent he liked to have he discussed how he'd worked in a show with all these amazing dancers and how they all wanted to be either singers or actors or something other than what they were. He said, "Enjoy the talent you have and really make it amazing."
That inspired me. I've been blessed with a lot of superficial talent - I can sing, draw, dance and write. If the truth be known I would love to be able to sing like Gladys Knight. To me, her strong, rich, vibrant voice is the voice that I'd want to emulate. Well, I don't sing that well. But it hasn't been my focus. I'm really too much of a chicken to stand up in front of people and sing. Writing is my gig.
Sean's comment makes me want to make my writing talent really amazing. And the singing? I can still do that for mere enjoyment in my living room with the tunes cranking until my next door neighbour knocks on my door asking me to turn it down a little.
EY
27 August 2006
Discipline
Sunday 10:25pm 27Aug06
Went to weigh myself today. As I don't have a scale at home, I went to the pool. I've lost 10lbs. I want to lose 30lbs in total. It will happen.
I ended up swimming for a half hour since I was at the pool and I had my bathing suit with me. I carried some juice with me for my juice fast. Overall my juice fast went okay. I just didn't drink enough juice but I'll carry a boatload of juice with me tomorrow with my salad for lunch and make up for my wishy washyness.
I decided to walk after my swim and ended up down at Harbourfront to see my girlfriend. I ran into CBC radios Jowi (same as Joey) Taylor, whom I love. When we worked together ten years ago, he was above me and really didn't have to pay me any attention. He saw me working outside in the stifling heat and said, "You need a chair. You don't have a chair," and came back with one of those movie directors chairs for me. I've loved him ever since.
Well, anyway, he was at Harbourfront with a Six String Nation guitar that is made of pieces from all over Canada with pieces of wood from such celebrities as Pierre Trudeau (his canoe paddle) and Wayne Gretzky (piece of his hockey stick) and Maurice "Rocket" Richard (Gold from his Stanley Cup Ring of 1955-56). Any way Jowi had a whole thing set up where you could have your picture taken with the guitar. He dragged me to have my picture taken with it. Believe it or not, I'm quite camera shy but if Jowi asks, well, I don't say yes I just do it. So at some point all the pictures that were taken will be on the website... Six String Nation
I even got a six string guitar pick for my troubles. Very cool!
While waiting to have my picture taken, Jowi asked me if I played guitar and I said no. He said he didn't either but wished he could. Yeah, I said, it takes discipline. Jowi looked at me and smiled and then we got into this big rant about our shared lack of discipline. I love Jowi!
While swimming I had an interesting incident. It's funny because I always think I'm in peoples way or I'm lame. It's automatic. When I swim, I like to play around and swim at the bottom of the pool until my breath runs out. I push myself up from the swimming pool floor with my feet to grab some air and then I zoom back down to the bottom of the pool. I do it because I like to be out of the way of the real swimmers that do their disciplined laps and because I like to test how long I can stay under without coming up for air. I think I'm lame because I don't do the proper laps like 'normal' swimmers. But once I get past feeling lame and self-conscious that all the other swimmers think I'm lame I have fun.
One of the swimmers caught me at the edge of the pool and said, "Can you teach me how to do that?"
"huh?"
"Swimming at the bottom of the pool. I can't swim at the bottom of the pool, I always float up to the top."
I was stunned. Here I think I'm lame and some one thinks what I do is better than just swimming laps. sigh! I don't know why I always think I'm so lame. I've got to stop doing that to myself and relax a little.
Back at Harbourfront, I waited for my girlfriend to finish work and we went for a beer. Well, she had the beer and I (I'm very proud to say) drank Cranberry juice and a glass of water. I love beer. I love more types of beer than I don't. I didn't even bat an eye or hem and haw about not ordering beer. Just knew I couldn't so I didn't. Every once in awhile I do have some discipline.
EY
Went to weigh myself today. As I don't have a scale at home, I went to the pool. I've lost 10lbs. I want to lose 30lbs in total. It will happen.
I ended up swimming for a half hour since I was at the pool and I had my bathing suit with me. I carried some juice with me for my juice fast. Overall my juice fast went okay. I just didn't drink enough juice but I'll carry a boatload of juice with me tomorrow with my salad for lunch and make up for my wishy washyness.
I decided to walk after my swim and ended up down at Harbourfront to see my girlfriend. I ran into CBC radios Jowi (same as Joey) Taylor, whom I love. When we worked together ten years ago, he was above me and really didn't have to pay me any attention. He saw me working outside in the stifling heat and said, "You need a chair. You don't have a chair," and came back with one of those movie directors chairs for me. I've loved him ever since.
Well, anyway, he was at Harbourfront with a Six String Nation guitar that is made of pieces from all over Canada with pieces of wood from such celebrities as Pierre Trudeau (his canoe paddle) and Wayne Gretzky (piece of his hockey stick) and Maurice "Rocket" Richard (Gold from his Stanley Cup Ring of 1955-56). Any way Jowi had a whole thing set up where you could have your picture taken with the guitar. He dragged me to have my picture taken with it. Believe it or not, I'm quite camera shy but if Jowi asks, well, I don't say yes I just do it. So at some point all the pictures that were taken will be on the website... Six String Nation
I even got a six string guitar pick for my troubles. Very cool!
While waiting to have my picture taken, Jowi asked me if I played guitar and I said no. He said he didn't either but wished he could. Yeah, I said, it takes discipline. Jowi looked at me and smiled and then we got into this big rant about our shared lack of discipline. I love Jowi!
While swimming I had an interesting incident. It's funny because I always think I'm in peoples way or I'm lame. It's automatic. When I swim, I like to play around and swim at the bottom of the pool until my breath runs out. I push myself up from the swimming pool floor with my feet to grab some air and then I zoom back down to the bottom of the pool. I do it because I like to be out of the way of the real swimmers that do their disciplined laps and because I like to test how long I can stay under without coming up for air. I think I'm lame because I don't do the proper laps like 'normal' swimmers. But once I get past feeling lame and self-conscious that all the other swimmers think I'm lame I have fun.
One of the swimmers caught me at the edge of the pool and said, "Can you teach me how to do that?"
"huh?"
"Swimming at the bottom of the pool. I can't swim at the bottom of the pool, I always float up to the top."
I was stunned. Here I think I'm lame and some one thinks what I do is better than just swimming laps. sigh! I don't know why I always think I'm so lame. I've got to stop doing that to myself and relax a little.
Back at Harbourfront, I waited for my girlfriend to finish work and we went for a beer. Well, she had the beer and I (I'm very proud to say) drank Cranberry juice and a glass of water. I love beer. I love more types of beer than I don't. I didn't even bat an eye or hem and haw about not ordering beer. Just knew I couldn't so I didn't. Every once in awhile I do have some discipline.
EY
25 August 2006
Juice Fast - Personal Arthritic Regime
Friday 5:20am 25Aug06
Well, I start my juice fast tomorrow morning. I've got to go to Price Chopper tonight after work to stock up on beets, white potatoes, celery, carrots and lemons.
I'll be starting with my morning smoothies, continuing with the beets and potato juices, keeping to the Apple Cider Vinegar in hot water twice a day and adding the black radish juice, noni juice and a good fresh fruit juice, most likely oranges, if I can get enough bags of oranges at a decent price. I've got two watermelons so I'll be chomping on a lot of watermelon because I'm one of those weird people who loves watermelon but hates it juiced. Makes no sense but the smell is so strong when I juice watermelon that I can't bring the juice to my mouth to drink it. Actually all melons. But I like them in smoothies because there is so much going on there that I can't smell it. Strange, I know!
I'll be doing all this with 8 glasses of water a day. I've found the easiest way to ensure that I get the 8 glasses a day is to have 2 glasses in the morning when I get up, 2 glasses before lunch, 2 glasses before dinner, and 2 glasses before I go to bed.
I went to bed super early last night and read for awhile and fell asleep by 8pm. With my daily 4am rising I find that it does me good to get to bed extra early every once in awhile to recharge my body plus healing is done while you sleep, I think.
EY
Well, I start my juice fast tomorrow morning. I've got to go to Price Chopper tonight after work to stock up on beets, white potatoes, celery, carrots and lemons.
I'll be starting with my morning smoothies, continuing with the beets and potato juices, keeping to the Apple Cider Vinegar in hot water twice a day and adding the black radish juice, noni juice and a good fresh fruit juice, most likely oranges, if I can get enough bags of oranges at a decent price. I've got two watermelons so I'll be chomping on a lot of watermelon because I'm one of those weird people who loves watermelon but hates it juiced. Makes no sense but the smell is so strong when I juice watermelon that I can't bring the juice to my mouth to drink it. Actually all melons. But I like them in smoothies because there is so much going on there that I can't smell it. Strange, I know!
I'll be doing all this with 8 glasses of water a day. I've found the easiest way to ensure that I get the 8 glasses a day is to have 2 glasses in the morning when I get up, 2 glasses before lunch, 2 glasses before dinner, and 2 glasses before I go to bed.
I went to bed super early last night and read for awhile and fell asleep by 8pm. With my daily 4am rising I find that it does me good to get to bed extra early every once in awhile to recharge my body plus healing is done while you sleep, I think.
EY
23 August 2006
Complaints
Wednesday 9:09pm 23Aug06
I can be a big complainer sometimes. It seems that when I have something to complain about more things happen for me to complain about. I've been working on this. I find that instead of telling myself that I don't want to complain all the time I actually have to tell myself what I do want before I can see any results.
I want to notice all the good things that people say and do through out my work day. I want to notice that one cute contractor that smiled at me. I want to enjoy the blasts of laughter caused by my work buddies Air and Ado. I want to have several snickering sessions with my little friend so my work mates think I'm on a personal call when I'm not.
But when I need to complain, because sometimes you need to, I want to get it out of my system and leave it where it lay rather than bring it home with me tormenting my dreams and possibly starting tomorrow with that attitude. I want to feel okay about complaining.
Quote from Sara, Book 1 - The Foreverness of Friends of a Feather:
"Okay. I want to fly because walking isn't much fun and it takes so long to walk around down here on the ground."
Sara, can you see that you are still talking more about what you don't want and why you don't want it? Try again.
"Okay. I want to fly because... I don't get this, Solomon. What do you want me to say?"
I want you to talk about what you do want, Sara.
"I WANT TO FLY!" Sara shouted, feeling annoyed at Solomon's inability to understand her.
Now, Sara, tell me why you want to fly. What would that be like? How would it feel? Make it feel real to me, Sara. Describe it to me, what does flying feel like? I don't want you to tell me what it's like on the ground, or what it is like NOT to fly. I want you to tell me what it is like to fly.
"Flying feels very free, Solomon. It's like floating, but faster."
Tell me, what you would see if you were flying?
"I would see the whole town down below. I would see Main Street and cars moving and people walking. I would see the river. I would see my school."
How does flying feel, Sara? Describe what it feels like to fly.
"It would be so much fun, Solomon! Flying just has to be so much fun. I could soar fast as the wind. It would feel so free. It feels so good, Solomon!"
And then, suddenly, with the same sense of power that Sara had felt in Solomon's wings as she had seen him lift off his post day after day, Sara felt a whoosh within her that took her breath away. Her body felt, for a moment, as if it weighed ten thousand pounds, and then, instantly, she felt absolutely weightless. And then, Sara was flying... Pages 42 & 43.
This message is for you, little one, because I'm thinking about you. Tomorrow is the clean slate. Leave yesterdays complaints with yesterday including the bad feelings about yourself for having to complain. Think about what you do want and focus on that at least a third of the time. Oh and remind me to do the same when I need it!
EY
I can be a big complainer sometimes. It seems that when I have something to complain about more things happen for me to complain about. I've been working on this. I find that instead of telling myself that I don't want to complain all the time I actually have to tell myself what I do want before I can see any results.
I want to notice all the good things that people say and do through out my work day. I want to notice that one cute contractor that smiled at me. I want to enjoy the blasts of laughter caused by my work buddies Air and Ado. I want to have several snickering sessions with my little friend so my work mates think I'm on a personal call when I'm not.
But when I need to complain, because sometimes you need to, I want to get it out of my system and leave it where it lay rather than bring it home with me tormenting my dreams and possibly starting tomorrow with that attitude. I want to feel okay about complaining.
Quote from Sara, Book 1 - The Foreverness of Friends of a Feather:
"Okay. I want to fly because walking isn't much fun and it takes so long to walk around down here on the ground."
Sara, can you see that you are still talking more about what you don't want and why you don't want it? Try again.
"Okay. I want to fly because... I don't get this, Solomon. What do you want me to say?"
I want you to talk about what you do want, Sara.
"I WANT TO FLY!" Sara shouted, feeling annoyed at Solomon's inability to understand her.
Now, Sara, tell me why you want to fly. What would that be like? How would it feel? Make it feel real to me, Sara. Describe it to me, what does flying feel like? I don't want you to tell me what it's like on the ground, or what it is like NOT to fly. I want you to tell me what it is like to fly.
"Flying feels very free, Solomon. It's like floating, but faster."
Tell me, what you would see if you were flying?
"I would see the whole town down below. I would see Main Street and cars moving and people walking. I would see the river. I would see my school."
How does flying feel, Sara? Describe what it feels like to fly.
"It would be so much fun, Solomon! Flying just has to be so much fun. I could soar fast as the wind. It would feel so free. It feels so good, Solomon!"
And then, suddenly, with the same sense of power that Sara had felt in Solomon's wings as she had seen him lift off his post day after day, Sara felt a whoosh within her that took her breath away. Her body felt, for a moment, as if it weighed ten thousand pounds, and then, instantly, she felt absolutely weightless. And then, Sara was flying... Pages 42 & 43.
This message is for you, little one, because I'm thinking about you. Tomorrow is the clean slate. Leave yesterdays complaints with yesterday including the bad feelings about yourself for having to complain. Think about what you do want and focus on that at least a third of the time. Oh and remind me to do the same when I need it!
EY
Improvements - Personal Arthritic Regime
Wednesday 8:13pm 23Aug06
I've made it past the fever, thankfully. My energy level has improved ten fold and I'm not yawning constantly which is what I normally do. I decided to mix the raw potato juice with the raw beet juice with celery, carrots and lemon to truly mask the nasty raw potato taste. It's much better. It's nice to have those odd brainwaves every once in awhile.
Since my Sunday breakfast mate will be in Stratford this coming weekend, I plan to do an all juice fast. I'll have the thrill of trying the raw cabbage juice. Can you hear my hands clapping with excitement? Probably because they are not clapping and I'm not that excited. But I'll do it anyway.
There's nothing better than feeling the changes relatively quickly. My feet haven't had the continual excruciating pain which is a Godsend. The foot massager under my desk at work that my cute little friend bought me certainly helps. My feet enjoy the attention for sure.
I'm enjoying all the music I bought myself as a reward in advance of this crazy fast, junk food restriction, all around Spartan existence I'm trying on. It was a good idea to reward myself in advance. The sparkpeople site is coming in very handy because I have no chance of forgetting all that I need to have. As I click off each goal that I've accomplished, arthritis wise, I notice what I still need to include and go and grab that too.
I had a splendiferous salad for my lunch today and yesterday (tasted so good, I had to have it again!) :
4 sliced peaches
2 sliced oranges
mixed with 4 TBSP's Renee's Ravin' Raspberry Salad Dressing
Spring mix (mixed greens)
radicchio
Dandelion
EY
I've made it past the fever, thankfully. My energy level has improved ten fold and I'm not yawning constantly which is what I normally do. I decided to mix the raw potato juice with the raw beet juice with celery, carrots and lemon to truly mask the nasty raw potato taste. It's much better. It's nice to have those odd brainwaves every once in awhile.
Since my Sunday breakfast mate will be in Stratford this coming weekend, I plan to do an all juice fast. I'll have the thrill of trying the raw cabbage juice. Can you hear my hands clapping with excitement? Probably because they are not clapping and I'm not that excited. But I'll do it anyway.
There's nothing better than feeling the changes relatively quickly. My feet haven't had the continual excruciating pain which is a Godsend. The foot massager under my desk at work that my cute little friend bought me certainly helps. My feet enjoy the attention for sure.
I'm enjoying all the music I bought myself as a reward in advance of this crazy fast, junk food restriction, all around Spartan existence I'm trying on. It was a good idea to reward myself in advance. The sparkpeople site is coming in very handy because I have no chance of forgetting all that I need to have. As I click off each goal that I've accomplished, arthritis wise, I notice what I still need to include and go and grab that too.
I had a splendiferous salad for my lunch today and yesterday (tasted so good, I had to have it again!) :
4 sliced peaches
2 sliced oranges
mixed with 4 TBSP's Renee's Ravin' Raspberry Salad Dressing
Spring mix (mixed greens)
radicchio
Dandelion
EY
21 August 2006
What to Expect - Fasts
How to Know What to Expect During a Fast
Fasting is not necessarily easy. You'll need physical and psychological discipline to achieve results. A successful fast will give you clarity of mind, soundness of body, and a greater quality of life.
Steps:
1. Expect to feel anxiety in the days prior to the fast. Your mind will try to talk you out of fasting with all sorts of excuses. Avoid the temptation to eat a big "last supper" before you fast. Instead, eat lightly on the days before the fast to help prepare your body.
2. Realize that fasting will teach you a lot about your relationship with food and meals. In the first days of your fast you will feel out of place at meal times. People around you will be eating, going to restaurants and having food-related fun. You may feel left out. Take note of these things and realize the huge role food plays in the daily routines of people.
3. Counter you feelings of being left out by becoming involved in your fast. There are lots of things to do: make teas, take baths, skin brush, stretch, meditate, do yoga, take internal baths. Realize that this is time you have set aside to clean and repair your body - take it seriously.
4. Expect to feel impatient and irritable in the first two or three days of your fast. This is your body adjusting from using the food in your digestive tract (which remains for about three days) to consuming stored fats. Just imagine how rarely your body has a chance to eliminate these stored fats with you dumping three meals a day down your throat.
5. Realize that by the third day your mind and body will be conspiring against the fast to get you to stop. You will smell food cooking five blocks away. Enjoy the smell, but do not eat.
6. Expect to stop feeling hungry after three days. By this time your digestive tract is empty and your body has adjusted. If you are fasting properly, you should not feel any physical hunger for many days to come.
7. Understand that you may experience aches in certain parts of your body. This usually means that elimination of fatty tissue is taking place in that area of your body, which is not harmful. Lower back pain can be a symptom of dehydration, so make sure to keep hydrated. Any extensive or severe pain should be examined immediately.
8. Anticipate headaches, stomachaches and discomfort as a result of salt, sugar and caffeine withdrawal. Avoid these discomforts by tapering off these addictions in the days prior to your fast.
9. Expect changes in your bowel functions. You will have to aid your bowels to keep moving.
10. Expect to lose weight, but also expect to put it back on after the fast.
from - ehow.com
Fasting is not necessarily easy. You'll need physical and psychological discipline to achieve results. A successful fast will give you clarity of mind, soundness of body, and a greater quality of life.
Steps:
1. Expect to feel anxiety in the days prior to the fast. Your mind will try to talk you out of fasting with all sorts of excuses. Avoid the temptation to eat a big "last supper" before you fast. Instead, eat lightly on the days before the fast to help prepare your body.
2. Realize that fasting will teach you a lot about your relationship with food and meals. In the first days of your fast you will feel out of place at meal times. People around you will be eating, going to restaurants and having food-related fun. You may feel left out. Take note of these things and realize the huge role food plays in the daily routines of people.
3. Counter you feelings of being left out by becoming involved in your fast. There are lots of things to do: make teas, take baths, skin brush, stretch, meditate, do yoga, take internal baths. Realize that this is time you have set aside to clean and repair your body - take it seriously.
4. Expect to feel impatient and irritable in the first two or three days of your fast. This is your body adjusting from using the food in your digestive tract (which remains for about three days) to consuming stored fats. Just imagine how rarely your body has a chance to eliminate these stored fats with you dumping three meals a day down your throat.
5. Realize that by the third day your mind and body will be conspiring against the fast to get you to stop. You will smell food cooking five blocks away. Enjoy the smell, but do not eat.
6. Expect to stop feeling hungry after three days. By this time your digestive tract is empty and your body has adjusted. If you are fasting properly, you should not feel any physical hunger for many days to come.
7. Understand that you may experience aches in certain parts of your body. This usually means that elimination of fatty tissue is taking place in that area of your body, which is not harmful. Lower back pain can be a symptom of dehydration, so make sure to keep hydrated. Any extensive or severe pain should be examined immediately.
8. Anticipate headaches, stomachaches and discomfort as a result of salt, sugar and caffeine withdrawal. Avoid these discomforts by tapering off these addictions in the days prior to your fast.
9. Expect changes in your bowel functions. You will have to aid your bowels to keep moving.
10. Expect to lose weight, but also expect to put it back on after the fast.
from - ehow.com
Cold Sweats - Personal Arthritis Regime
Monday 9:01pm 21Aug06
Been home from work all day today. Had the cold sweats all last night and all day today. This flush/cleanse is working faster than expected and a little nerve wracking to be honest. As long as I don't croak or get really sick I'll be okay. I'm going to have to go back through my notes to review what they say about fasts and what to expect.
I've slept a lot which is probably what I needed. It could take a couple days before my body normalizes. My feet haven't bothered me all weekend so that's a start and the point.
EY
Been home from work all day today. Had the cold sweats all last night and all day today. This flush/cleanse is working faster than expected and a little nerve wracking to be honest. As long as I don't croak or get really sick I'll be okay. I'm going to have to go back through my notes to review what they say about fasts and what to expect.
I've slept a lot which is probably what I needed. It could take a couple days before my body normalizes. My feet haven't bothered me all weekend so that's a start and the point.
EY
20 August 2006
Raw Potato Juice - Personal Arthritic Regime
Sunday 5:02pm 20Aug06
Well, I had my first glass of raw white potato juice. It looked like milk. It tasted, well, not so great. I had to juice a half lemon into it to make it palatable, if that's possible. All I have to say is it better do other great things for me like give me instantaneous orgasms just by saying the word orgasm. Or something like that. ha!
I had to chase it with beet, celery and carrot juice. But I did it and will apparently be doing it daily. Maybe one day I'll look forward to it too. Not!
I had a busy weekend of washing, cutting and cooking vegetables in some sort of soup or other. Crock pots are such handy appliances. I think I'll have to buy two more for myself for Christmas. I made pea soup with red lentils. I made the apple, red cabbage and carrots cooked in red wine vinegar, sugar and allspice and it's actually quite tasty, given that I used less sugar than it called for. My crock pot is currently rocking some Mushroom and Barley soup and the dried porcini mushrooms that are in it smell so good, I can hardly wait for it to be cooked. I'm planning to cook red onion and red pepper soup in my other crock pot soon. The homemade vegetable stock makes such a difference in the taste of soup. I never liked soup growing up until I started making my own and it is all about making it with stock.
My fridge is brimming with health. My freezer will be packed with individual serving containers of all the soups I make since they will last longer than all the perishables in my fridge. I've even labeled the containers. I'm so organized that I'm scaring myself. Who is this anal person that moved into my body?
Arthritis has given me the opportunity to find all sorts of vegetarian recipes that I was never motivated enough to check out in the past. So it's all good.
EY
Well, I had my first glass of raw white potato juice. It looked like milk. It tasted, well, not so great. I had to juice a half lemon into it to make it palatable, if that's possible. All I have to say is it better do other great things for me like give me instantaneous orgasms just by saying the word orgasm. Or something like that. ha!
I had to chase it with beet, celery and carrot juice. But I did it and will apparently be doing it daily. Maybe one day I'll look forward to it too. Not!
I had a busy weekend of washing, cutting and cooking vegetables in some sort of soup or other. Crock pots are such handy appliances. I think I'll have to buy two more for myself for Christmas. I made pea soup with red lentils. I made the apple, red cabbage and carrots cooked in red wine vinegar, sugar and allspice and it's actually quite tasty, given that I used less sugar than it called for. My crock pot is currently rocking some Mushroom and Barley soup and the dried porcini mushrooms that are in it smell so good, I can hardly wait for it to be cooked. I'm planning to cook red onion and red pepper soup in my other crock pot soon. The homemade vegetable stock makes such a difference in the taste of soup. I never liked soup growing up until I started making my own and it is all about making it with stock.
My fridge is brimming with health. My freezer will be packed with individual serving containers of all the soups I make since they will last longer than all the perishables in my fridge. I've even labeled the containers. I'm so organized that I'm scaring myself. Who is this anal person that moved into my body?
Arthritis has given me the opportunity to find all sorts of vegetarian recipes that I was never motivated enough to check out in the past. So it's all good.
EY
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