Tuesday 8:51pm 29Aug06
I blogged about not being a therapist a while back. It was about feeling frustrated that some of my friends had forgotten about me and moved on with newer friends. It was about those same friends that call me in crisis because they know I always have a listening ear and great insights about how to deal.
I'd been feeling hurt about being somewhat deserted. I was upset that friends I'd worked with for years were treating me with an out of sight, out of mind attitude. But I see that there is pain before change. I see that I'm not obligated to say yes to things just because I want to be a good friend. The gem is that I have the time to write that I've been begging for. Plus the newer people in my life don't seem to see me as just a giant ear at their disposal. Not that the old friends are totally out of my life, nor would I want that with most of them, just that there is more of a balance and I'm more able to say no to activities I don't want to participate in.
Also, had it not been for that feeling of desertion, it would have been so much harder to be disciplined about doing this whole being healthy in order to manage my arthritis thing that I've been doing for close to three weeks now. Every thing does have a purpose, it seems.
I caught the tail end of an interview with Canadian Comedian Sean Cullen and after being asked what other talent he liked to have he discussed how he'd worked in a show with all these amazing dancers and how they all wanted to be either singers or actors or something other than what they were. He said, "Enjoy the talent you have and really make it amazing."
That inspired me. I've been blessed with a lot of superficial talent - I can sing, draw, dance and write. If the truth be known I would love to be able to sing like Gladys Knight. To me, her strong, rich, vibrant voice is the voice that I'd want to emulate. Well, I don't sing that well. But it hasn't been my focus. I'm really too much of a chicken to stand up in front of people and sing. Writing is my gig.
Sean's comment makes me want to make my writing talent really amazing. And the singing? I can still do that for mere enjoyment in my living room with the tunes cranking until my next door neighbour knocks on my door asking me to turn it down a little.